Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Ответ правильный и понятный, но можно сделать его более естественным и компактным. Начните с прямого предложения, затем добавьте небольшую деталь. Избегайте лишних слов и проверьте порядок слов (например, «I study in 10th grade» звучит нормально, но лучше «I'm in the 10th grade»).

例: I'm a student. I'm currently in the 10th grade, studying a broad range of subjects including math and English.

提案: Ответ содержит идею, но звучит неестественно и слишком длинно; фраза «I want to start work 10 years later» звучит нереалистично и неясно. Лучше дать короткий прямой ответ и объяснить причину с помощью связующих слов. Используйте простую временную формулировку (e.g. "for now", "at the moment").

例: I don't work at the moment because I'm focused on my studies. I plan to start working part-time while at university rather than waiting ten years.

提案: Ответ повторяет одну и ту же мысль несколько раз и содержит грамматические ошибки (например, missing articles: "a very good place", "a part-time job"). Лучше назвать причину один раз и использовать связку для плавного перехода. Укоротите ответ до 2–3 предложений.

例: Yes. Working as a waiter would be a good job for me because it's part-time, which fits well with my heavy study schedule. It would allow me to earn money without affecting my classes.

提案: Ответ слишком длинный и содержит ошибки в словоупотреблении («kindness personal» → "kind staff"). Повторяются идеи о part-time. Нужен один чёткий топик с уточняющей деталью и корректная лексика. Используйте связующее слово (e.g. "because", "also").

例: Yes, I like my workplace because the staff are friendly and helpful, so I feel comfortable there. Also, it's a part-time job which lets me balance work and study.

提案: Ответ содержит ясный план, но есть ошибки в названии университета («Balcony University» вероятно неверно) и в формулировках (стилистика: «in my opinion, it is the most popular business university in the world» — слишком категорично). Лучше назвать реальные цели, использовать связки и сократить повторения («want to»).

例: First, I plan to finish high school, then I hope to study business at a university in Italy. After graduating, I want to become an entrepreneur and start my own company.

× Now I am a student and I study in 10th grade.

✓ Now I am a student and I am in the 10th grade.

The phrase 'study in 10th grade' is unnatural in English; we use 'be in the 10th grade' to indicate current school year. Use present continuous 'am in' to describe current status. Suggestion: say 'I am in the 10th grade' or 'I am a 10th-grade student.'

× Actually now I don't work at all because I have a lot of studies, so I want to start work 10 years later.

✓ Actually, right now I don't work at all because I have a lot of studies, so I want to start working in 10 years.

Use 'right now' or 'actually' with a comma for clarity. 'Start work' should be 'start working' (verb + -ing). The preposition 'later' after a period of time is correct as 'in 10 years.' Also 'a lot of studies' is awkward; consider 'a heavy workload' or 'many studies.'

× Is it a good place to work?

✓ Is it a good place to work?

Sentence is grammatically correct. No change needed. (Keeps definite article usage appropriate.)

× Yes, of course working as a waiter is very good place for me because I prefer to work in a part time job because I have a lot of studies. So for me it is very convenient job.

✓ Yes, of course. Working as a waiter is a very good job for me because I prefer to work a part-time job while I have a lot of studies. So for me it is a very convenient job.

Missing articles: use 'a very good job' and 'a part-time job' and 'a very convenient job.' 'Part-time' should be hyphenated as a compound adjective before 'job.' 'While I have a lot of studies' or 'because I have a heavy workload' is clearer. Also add punctuation to separate clauses.

× Yes, of course I really like the place where I work because there you can find a lot of kindness personal and I usually communicate with them in my free time.

✓ Yes, of course I really like the place where I work because there are many kind people there, and I usually talk with them in my free time.

'Kindness personal' is incorrect; use 'kind people.' Also use 'there are' for existence of people (there be issue and plural). 'Communicate with them' is acceptable but 'talk with them' is more natural. Ensure pronouns agree with plural 'people.'

× And also I really like this job because I it is a part time job so I can work and study at the same time.

✓ Also, I really like this job because it is a part-time job, so I can work and study at the same time.

Remove extra 'I'. Use 'a part-time job' with hyphen and article. Add commas for clarity.

× Actually, at first I want to graduate from my school, and after that I want to study in Balcony University in Italy.

✓ Actually, first I want to graduate from my school, and after that I want to study at Balcony University in Italy.

Use 'first' rather than 'at first' for sequence. Use 'study at' for attending a university (preposition issue). Keep present tense 'want to' for future plans is acceptable but can also use 'want to study at'.

× In my opinion, it is the most popular business university in the world, so I want to study business in it, and afterward I want to be a businesswoman and open my own business.

✓ In my opinion, it is the most popular business university in the world, so I want to study business there, and afterward I want to become a businesswoman and open my own business.

Use 'there' instead of 'in it' for natural English. 'Become a businesswoman' is more natural than 'be a businesswoman.' Keep 'afterward' or 'afterwards' consistently. No article change needed.