Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Use clearer, shorter sentences and correct grammar. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and fix verb and article errors. (English (Kazakhstan))

例: I am a high school student. I study at a hospital school, focusing on mathematics and physics. I enjoy these subjects because they develop my problem‑solving skills and make me think critically.

提案: Answer directly and correct grammar: use simple present/continuous, singular/plural forms, and remove fillers. Give one clear reason. (English (Kazakhstan))

例: I do not work at the moment because I am still studying at school. My parents are strict and prefer that I focus on my education rather than have a job.

提案: Be concise and correct grammar (articles, singular/plural, verb agreement). Use linking words properly and give one specific example. (English (Kazakhstan))

例: Yes, it is a good place to work because my colleagues are supportive and management promotes professional development. For example, they offer regular training sessions and flexible hours that help me balance work and study.

提案: Speak confidently and remove hesitation sounds. Use correct tense and articles; give two clear reasons and link them. Keep sentences short. (English (Kazakhstan))

例: Yes, I would like to work there because it is close to my home, which is very convenient. Also, my managers have told me I could have good career prospects if I stay with the company.

提案: Give a clear, grammatical plan: use future forms correctly and be specific about steps and reasons. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. (English (Kazakhstan))

例: In the future I hope to move abroad for work. I plan to gain more experience here, then apply for a transfer or an international position with my employer once I meet their requirements.

× I am currently a student of high school.

✓ I am currently a high school student.

The original word order is awkward; English uses the adjective phrase 'high school' before 'student'. Use 'a high school student' to be natural and grammatically correct. English (Kazakhstan): Change word order so modifier comes before noun; say 'a high school student'.

× I'm studying in the hospital school with the focus on the math and physics and I really enjoy learning such subjects such as problem solving, critical thinking because it challenging me and engaging my brain work more and more.

✓ I'm studying at the hospital school, focusing on math and physics, and I really enjoy learning subjects such as problem solving and critical thinking because they challenge me and engage my brain more and more.

Use 'at' for institutions and 'focusing on' is clearer than 'with the focus on'. Drop unnecessary 'the' before subjects. Use plural pronoun 'they' to agree with 'subjects' and plural verb 'challenge'. Use 'engage' (not 'engaging') with subject 'they'. English (Kazakhstan): Use correct preposition 'at', remove unnecessary 'the', make verbs agree with plural 'subjects', and use active participle 'focusing'.

× To be honest, I'm not working now because of I'm still at school and I have a really strict parents uh, that worry about me so they do not let me takes any of job while I'm studying.

✓ To be honest, I'm not working now because I'm still at school and I have really strict parents who worry about me, so they do not let me take any job while I'm studying.

Do not use 'because of' before a clause; use 'because'. 'Parents' is plural so remove 'a'. Use 'who' for people, not 'that'. Use base verb 'take' after 'let' and 'any job' instead of 'any of job'. English (Kazakhstan): Use 'because' + clause, correct article with plural noun, use 'who' for people, and correct verb form after 'let'.

× Yes, I think it is good a place to work because the colleagues are supportive and the management encourage professional development, which helps me to grow.

✓ Yes, I think it is a good place to work because the colleagues are supportive and the management encourages professional development, which helps me to grow.

Insert article 'a' before 'good place'. 'Management' as a singular collective noun takes singular verb 'encourages'. Maintain subject-verb agreement. English (Kazakhstan): Add 'a' and make verb agree with singular collective noun 'management'.

× For example, they offer regular training session and flexible hours that improve work life balance and enhance my career, whether because I am still young.

✓ For example, they offer regular training sessions and flexible hours that improve work-life balance and enhance my career, especially because I am still young.

Use plural 'training sessions' to match 'regular'. Add hyphen in 'work-life'. 'Whether' is incorrect here; use 'especially' to explain reason. English (Kazakhstan): Make 'session' plural, hyphenate 'work-life', and replace 'whether' with 'especially'.

× I definitely would like because the, uh, place of my work, uh, located near my home and it is really convenient to me and uh, and also my umm, managers told me that I have a really, uh, good future if I would stay with them.

✓ I definitely like it because my workplace is located near my home and it is really convenient for me, and my managers also told me that I have a good future if I stay with them.

Simplify structure: use 'I definitely like it' not 'would like' for current preference. Place subject before verb: 'my workplace is located'. Use 'convenient for me'. Use simple present 'if I stay' for first conditional future possibility and remove filler words. English (Kazakhstan): Use clearer sentence order, correct preposition 'for', and use simple conditional 'if I stay'.

× I wish in the future I will relocate from the my native country to abroad.

✓ I hope in the future I will relocate from my native country to abroad.

Use 'hope' rather than 'wish' when expressing a realistic future intention. Remove extra article 'the' before 'my native country'. 'To abroad' is awkward; use 'abroad' without 'to' or 'to another country'. English (Kazakhstan): Replace 'wish' with 'hope', remove extra 'the', and use 'abroad' correctly.

× I feel you all my workplace because now I have all abilities to do it and I just only I just only need to receive admission from management and all prospects what I see will.

✓ I feel comfortable leaving my workplace because now I have the ability to do it; I only need to receive approval from management and then the prospects I see will happen.

Original is unclear. Use 'feel comfortable leaving' to express readiness. 'All abilities' should be 'the ability' for this context. 'Receive admission' is wrong; use 'approval' from management. Replace 'what I see will' with 'then the prospects I see will happen' to complete the idea. English (Kazakhstan): Clarify meaning, use correct noun 'ability', use 'approval' for permission, and finish the clause to express result.