Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh), and correct noun forms and prepositions. Include one specific detail about your role to enrich the answer. Keep it to 1–3 sentences.

例: I work for UH Billen Transportation, a towing company in the GTA. I drive car carriers and collect vehicles from auctions, so I often travel between sites to deliver cars to dealerships.

提案: Give a direct topic sentence naming the main location, then add one supporting detail using linking words. Remove fillers and vague phrases like "the things like that." Be specific about coverage areas and use correct prepositions.

例: My company is based in Caledon, which is part of the Greater Toronto Area. However, we also operate across nearby regions such as Hamilton and Waterloo, delivering vehicles to clients throughout southern Ontario.

提案: Provide a clear opinion with coherent reasons. Avoid unclear or unrelated phrases (e.g. "I'm gardening, good hair"). Use linking words to connect reasons and give specific examples about the workplace (salary, benefits, colleagues). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I think it's a good place to work because the salary allows me to cover all my expenses comfortably. Also, the company offers steady hours and supportive colleagues, which makes the job less stressful.

提案: Answer directly and avoid repetition. Use one topic sentence stating your opinion, then add 1–2 specific supporting reasons (salary, relationships with employer) with linking words like "because" or "also." Remove fillers and correct grammar (e.g. "helping me in every situation").

例: Yes, I enjoy working there because they pay well and I can meet my financial goals. In addition, I have a friendly relationship with my employer, who supports me when I face problems.

提案: Give a clear, concise statement of your future plans, then add specific reasons and a short plan for how you'll achieve them. Avoid vague or confusing phrases and reduce repetition. Use linking words like "because" and "so" to structure your response.

例: I don't want a typical nine-to-five career; my goal is to become a professional singer because I've trained and performed since childhood. To achieve this, I am saving money from my current job to fund recordings and lessons, and I plan to leave once I have enough to launch my music career.

× Currently I'm working in a towing company named as UH Billen Transportation and uh, it is one of the popular company in uh the GTA area for operating a car carriers and picking up a car from the auctions.

✓ Currently I'm working at a towing company called UH Billen Transportation, and it is one of the popular companies in the GTA area for operating car carriers and picking up cars from auctions.

Errors: incorrect preposition with workplace ('in' -> 'at' or 'for'); incorrect expression 'named as' -> 'called'; article and count noun errors ('one of the popular company' -> 'one of the popular companies'); pluralization errors ('a car carriers' -> 'car carriers'; 'a car' from auctions -> 'cars from auctions'). Suggestions: use 'work at a company' or 'work for a company'; use 'called' to name something; ensure noun agreement after 'one of the' by pluralizing the noun; use plural for general nouns like 'cars' and drop unnecessary articles.

× Basically my company is operating, uh, from Caledon, which is a part of Greater Toronto Area and, uh, but uh, as a big company we are covering all the areas like Hamilton Region, uh, Waterloo Region and the things like that.

✓ Basically my company operates from Caledon, which is part of the Greater Toronto Area, and as a large company we cover areas like the Hamilton Region, the Waterloo Region, and similar places.

Errors: awkward progressive 'is operating' used for habitual/company base (use simple present 'operates'); unnecessary 'but' after 'and'; word choice 'big' -> 'large' and verb agreement 'we are covering' -> 'we cover' for habitual actions; missing definite articles for region names. Suggestions: use simple present for regular facts (company base and coverage); remove filler words; include 'the' with region names when appropriate.

× For me, money's matter, so I'm gardening, good hair and I can like afford my all expenses. So I'm just happy like to be a part of this critical company.

✓ For me, money matters, so I'm comfortable, I have good hair, and I can afford all my expenses. So I'm happy to be part of this company.

Errors: 'money's matter' should be 'money matters' (subject-verb agreement and idiom); 'I'm gardening' is incorrect word choice (likely 'I'm getting by' or 'I'm comfortable'); 'I can like afford my all expenses' has incorrect adverb placement and quantifier order ('afford all my expenses'); 'critical company' is odd—likely 'this company' or 'this important company.' Suggestions: use standard idioms ('money matters'); choose correct verbs for intended meaning ('comfortable' or 'getting by'); place quantifiers before nouns ('all my expenses'); avoid filler 'like'.

× Yes, I like it uh, because, uh, I'm earning uh, as much I want. They're paying me a good amount of money. Moreover, I also have a like friendly uh, relation with uh, the employer and they're helping me mean every situation yes uh, I'm quite happy with the place I'm working for.

✓ Yes, I like it because I'm earning as much as I want. They pay me a good amount of money. Moreover, I have a friendly relationship with the employer and they help me in every situation. Yes, I'm quite happy with the place I work for.

Errors: 'I'm earning as much I want' missing 'as' in comparison; inconsistent pronoun number—use 'they' for the company or 'the employer' singular; 'relation' collocation should be 'relationship'; 'they're helping me mean every situation' is ungrammatical—use 'they help me in every situation'; tense consistency and awkward 'I'm working for' -> 'I work for' or 'the place I work' is clearer. Suggestions: include 'as' in 'as much as'; match pronoun number to referent; use correct collocations and prepositions ('in every situation').

× Speaking, I'm not a data person who want to be in a nine to five job for whole, uh, whole life.

✓ Frankly, I'm not the kind of person who wants to be in a nine-to-five job for my whole life.

Errors: 'Speaking' is wrong discourse marker; 'a data person' is unclear—use 'the kind of person'; verb agreement 'who want' -> 'who wants'; missing article and possessive 'my whole life'; hyphenation 'nine-to-five' as compound adjective. Suggestions: use clear discourse markers like 'Frankly'; match verb to relative pronoun subject; include possessive for 'whole life'.

× Uh, I would like to become a singer in the future because I'm just working hard for it since my childhood and the job that I'm doing is just for earning.

✓ I would like to become a singer in the future because I have been working hard for it since my childhood, and the job I am doing is just to earn money.

Errors: tense mismatch—use present perfect continuous 'have been working' with 'since my childhood'; 'just for earning' is incorrect infinitive use and word choice -> 'just to earn money'; unnecessary 'I'm' contractions and filler words. Suggestions: use present perfect continuous for actions that started in the past and continue now; use 'to earn money' to express purpose.

× And I, whenever I get, get a amount of money that I want for my song, I will quit this.

✓ Whenever I get the amount of money I need for my songs, I will quit this job.

Errors: article error 'a amount' -> 'the amount' or 'an amount'; reduplication 'get, get'; wrong noun number 'song' -> 'songs' or 'my song' depending on meaning; 'quit this' vague—use 'quit this job'; conditional timing 'whenever' is okay but ensure clarity. Suggestions: use correct articles before countable nouns, remove repetitions, specify the object (job), and choose singular/plural consistently.