Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence (I work), then give one or two specific supporting details (job title, years of experience, workplace). Avoid unclear phrases ("I'm in English", "connected to the to a certain"). Use correct job term: "radiologic nurse" or "radiology nurse."

例: I work as a radiology nurse. I have been a nurse for over ten years and I currently work at a medical center in Davao City in the radiology department.

提案: Answer directly, use correct tense, and be concise. Begin with a topic sentence (I work at...), then give one or two relevant details (start date, department, role). Avoid tense errors ("I was on a probationary period right now").

例: I work at a medical center in Davao City. I started there in September 2025 and I am currently on probation, working in the radiology department as a radiology nurse.

提案: Give a clear opinion first (Yes or No) then support with specific reasons. Avoid confusing or incorrect phrases ("silent in a religious unit", unclear comparison). Use linking words (However, because, although) to structure explanation. Provide one or two concrete examples of why it is good or challenging.

例: Yes, overall it is a good place to work, although it was challenging at first. Because most of my previous experience was in community nursing, I had to learn new routines and equipment in the radiology unit, but my colleagues helped me adjust quickly.

提案: Be concise and precise. Start with a clear statement (Yes, I like it), then give one or two specific reasons. Avoid repetition and filler ("nobody, nobody's gonna"). Use correct collocations ("a safe city", "night shifts").

例: Yes, I like working there because Davao City is very safe, so I feel comfortable walking home after night shifts. Additionally, the hospital staff are supportive, which makes the job less stressful.

提案: Give a focused topic sentence (I plan to work abroad) then provide clear reasons and one concrete step or timeline. Use correct articles and phrasing ("an international nurse", "healthcare systems"). Limit to two supporting details and use linking words (because, so, therefore).

例: I plan to work as an international nurse and gain experience abroad because I want to learn how different healthcare systems operate and improve my clinical skills. To achieve this, I am preparing for international licensing exams and saving for relocation.

× I'm already working now, I'm in English and as a matter of fact I am a nurse for more than a decade now and currently I am connected to the to a certain Medical Center here in Davao City as a radiologist.

✓ I am currently working; I have been a nurse for more than a decade and I am now connected to a certain Medical Center here in Davao City as a radiologist.

The original mixes present continuous and present perfect incorrectly and uses awkward phrasing ('I'm in English' unclear). Use present perfect continuous or present perfect to show an action that started in the past and continues: 'have been a nurse for more than a decade'. Use 'currently' or 'now' for present status. Remove unclear phrase 'I'm in English'. Use clear clause order for readability. Suggestions: replace 'I'm already working now, I'm in English' with 'I am currently working' and use 'have been a nurse' to express the long duration.

× I work in a Medical Center here in Davao City and I was on a probationary period right now since I just started working here last September 2025 and I was assigned in the radiology department as a radiologic nurse.

✓ I work at a medical center here in Davao City and I am currently on a probationary period since I just started working here in September 2025; I was assigned to the radiology department as a radiologic nurse.

Tense inconsistency: 'I work' (present) followed by 'I was on a probationary period right now' mixes past and present incorrectly. Use present continuous for current temporary states: 'I am currently on a probationary period.' Use 'in' vs 'at' for institutions: 'work at a medical center' is natural. Use 'assigned to' not 'assigned in'. Keep consistent time expressions: 'in September 2025'. Suggestions: keep present for ongoing facts and present continuous for temporary states.

× Uh, actually it was my first time to be a silent in a religious unit as a radiologic nurse.

✓ Uh, actually it was my first time being assigned to a surgical unit as a radiologic nurse.

Incorrect word choice and awkward infinitive form. 'First time to be' is nonstandard; use 'first time being' or 'first time working' for experience. 'Silent' is incorrect here; likely intended 'surgical' or another unit type—adjust to 'surgical unit' if context fits. Use 'assigned to' rather than 'in' for departments. Suggestions: use 'first time being' or 'first time working' and correct the unit name.

× And at first it was an adjustment for me since everything is new for me because I, most of my experience, I were in the community in which I became a community.

✓ At first it was an adjustment for me since everything was new; most of my experience had been in community nursing.

Tense and subject-verb agreement errors: 'everything is new' should be past ('was') when referring to the initial adjustment. 'I were' is incorrect; use 'I was' or restructure. Phrase 'most of my experience, I were in the community in which I became a community' is ungrammatical; clarify as 'most of my experience had been in community nursing.' Use past perfect 'had been' to indicate prior experience before the current situation. Suggestions: simplify to 'most of my experience had been in community nursing'.

× Yes, I like the place where I am in right now because the call is just a safe city and you can, you cannot be afraid when you are on the night shift because you can walk with confidence that nobody, nobody's gonna get you or nobody's gonna hurt you. But.

✓ Yes, I like the place where I am right now because Davao City is a safe city and you do not need to be afraid on night shifts; you can walk with confidence that nobody will attack or hurt you.

Pronoun and word choice errors: 'the place where I am in' is redundant; use 'the place where I am' or 'where I work.' 'the call is just a safe city' is incorrect—likely meant 'Davao City is a safe city.' Avoid colloquial contractions like 'gonna' in formal speech; use 'will'. Also remove the extraneous 'But.' Suggestions: use correct pronouns and formal verb forms ('will' instead of 'gonna'), and name the city if appropriate.

× My future work plans would be to work as a nurse globally and to become an international or global nurse because I also want to experience working as a international nurse outside and also know the set up of their health institution and I want also to help.

✓ My future work plan is to work as an international nurse so I can gain experience abroad, learn how their health institutions are organized, and help people.

Use of conditional 'would be' is unnecessary when stating future plans; use simple future or present 'My future work plan is' or 'I plan to.' Article error: 'a international nurse' should be 'an international nurse.' Awkward phrase 'set up of their health institution' should be 'how their health institutions are organized.' Remove redundant 'also' and streamline the sentence. Suggestions: use 'I plan to' or 'I want to' for future intentions, use 'an' before vowel sounds, and simplify the list of goals.