Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: ดีมากแล้ว แต่ปรับให้กระชับขึ้นและมี linking word ชัดเจน เช่น ใช้ topic sentence สั้น ๆ ตามด้วยรายละเอียดเฉพาะและสาเหตุ เพื่อให้คำตอบมีความเป็นธรรมชาติและมีประสิทธิภาพมากขึ้น (ไม่เกิน 5 ประโยค)

例: I work as a police officer and have been on the road for about ten years. I mainly handle investigations and community patrols, which allows me to help people directly. As a result, I find my job very rewarding and meaningful.

提案: คำตอบดี แต่ควรใช้ linking word เพื่อเชื่อมเหตุผลและยกตัวอย่างเฉพาะเจาะจง รวมทั้งแก้ไวยากรณ์เล็กน้อย (เช่น 'part of the...') เพื่อความเป็นธรรมชาติมากขึ้น

例: I work at the Anti-Trafficking in Persons division, which is part of the Sentence Investigation Bureau. The office is very professional and often high-pressure because we regularly handle serious, urgent cases that require quick responses.

提案: คำตอบชัดเจน แต่ตัดคำซ้ำและระบุเหตุผลให้สั้นลง ใช้ linking word อย่าง 'because' และ 'so' อย่างเหมาะสม ประโยคไม่ควักยาวเกินไป

例: Yes, it is a great place to work because the environment is very supportive and my colleagues are highly professional. Therefore, we rely on strong teamwork to investigate and solve complex human trafficking cases.

提案: ประโยคมีข้อผิดพลาดด้านไวยากรณ์และความชัดเจน (เช่น 'certain location', verb agreement) ควรแก้โครงสร้างให้เป็นระเบียบ ใช้ linking phrases เช่น 'not only... but also' ให้ถูกต้องและให้รายละเอียดเฉพาะเจาะจงกว่าเดิม

例: Yes, I enjoy working there not only because of the supportive atmosphere and strong teamwork, but also because its central location makes coordination with other agencies easier and it offers good opportunities for professional development.

提案: แนวคิดดี แต่มีคำผิด (proving → improving) และควรระบุแผนการเตรียมตัวให้ชัด เช่น หลักสูตรที่เรียนหรือทักษะที่ฝึก เพื่อเพิ่มความเฉพาะเจาะจงและความน่าเชื่อถือ

例: I plan to advance my career within the Central Investigation Bureau by becoming a specialist in cross-border investigations. To prepare, I am improving my English and taking training courses in international cooperation so I can handle multinational cases more effectively.

× I work as a police officer and have been on the road for about 10 years.

✓ I work as a police officer and have been on the road for about 10 years.

No grammatical correction needed. The sentence correctly uses the present perfect continuous to describe an action/state continuing up to the present (have been on the road for about 10 years). Suggestion: none.

× I work at the Anti Trafficking in Persons division, part of Sentence Investigation Bureau.

✓ I work at the Anti-Trafficking in Persons Division, part of the Central Investigation Bureau.

Use of articles and proper nouns: 'Anti Trafficking in Persons division' should be hyphenated and capitalized as a unit, and 'Sentence Investigation Bureau' is likely incorrect name; 'the' is required before 'Central Investigation Bureau' or the correct bureau name. Suggestion: use the definite article before official department names and ensure correct, consistent capitalization and hyphenation.

× The office is professional and often high pressure because we regularly handle serious and urgent cases so staff must respond quickly.

✓ The office is professional and often high-pressured because we regularly handle serious and urgent cases, so staff must respond quickly.

Adjective/adverb and compound adjective use: 'high pressure' when describing the office should be 'high-pressure' (compound adjective). Alternatively 'highly pressured' or 'high-pressure atmosphere'. Also missing comma before 'so'. Suggestion: use hyphen for compound adjectives and add comma to separate clauses.

× Yes, IS is a great place to work because the environment is very supportive and my colleagues are highly professional, so we rely on teamwork to investigate and solve complex human trafficking cases.

✓ Yes, it is a great place to work because the environment is very supportive and my colleagues are highly professional, so we rely on teamwork to investigate and solve complex human trafficking cases.

Pronoun use: 'IS' seems to be a typo. Use 'it' to refer to the workplace. Suggestion: replace unintended abbreviations with appropriate pronoun or full name.

× Yes, I enjoy working there not only because of the supportive atmosphere and strong teamwork, but also because the office is certain location, makes coordination with other agencies easier and offer good opportunity for professional development.

✓ Yes, I enjoy working there not only because of the supportive atmosphere and strong teamwork, but also because the office is in a convenient location, which makes coordination with other agencies easier and offers good opportunities for professional development.

Multiple errors: missing article 'in' before location and 'convenient' adjective needed; sentence structure needs a relative clause 'which makes...'; subject-verb agreement: 'offers' to match singular 'which'; plural 'opportunities' is natural. Suggestion: add preposition 'in', use relative pronoun and ensure verb agrees with its subject, and pluralize where appropriate.

× I am planning to advance my career within the Central Investigation Bureau by becoming a specialist in cross-border investigations.

✓ I am planning to advance my career within the Central Investigation Bureau by becoming a specialist in cross-border investigations.

No correction needed. The sentence correctly uses present progressive 'am planning' for future plans and 'by becoming' to indicate method.

× To prepare, I am proving my English and taking training in international cooperation so I can handle multinational cases more effectively.

✓ To prepare, I am improving my English and taking training in international cooperation so I can handle multinational cases more effectively.

Verb choice error: 'proving' is incorrect; the intended verb is 'improving' to indicate enhancing skill. Suggestion: use 'improving my English' and optionally 'receiving training' or 'attending training' for natural phrasing.