Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is direct and clear, which is good. To improve, add one brief supporting detail (e.g., what you study or year) linked with a short connector to make it slightly richer without exceeding length limits. Also watch pronunciation of ‘nursing’.

例: I am currently a nursing student, and I’m in my second year of training at the college.

提案: Grammatical accuracy and fluency need attention. Use correct verb forms and articles, and combine related information into one coherent sentence using a linking word. Be specific about the hospital name and role. Pronunciation and word order should be improved.

例: I work at Hope Hospital, a small 25-bed facility, where I serve as a nursing officer.

提案: The answer is repetitive and ungrammatical. Provide one clear opinion with reasons using linking words (because/so) and a specific example to support it. Avoid repeating the same phrase.

例: Yes, it’s a good place to work because the staff are supportive and I have the opportunity to gain hands-on experience with patients.

提案: Your idea is interesting but the answer is disorganized and contains unclear phrases. Start with a clear topic sentence, then contrast current situation with preference using a linking word (but/however). Be specific about why you prefer a hilly hospital (e.g., fresh air, views). Avoid unclear abbreviations like 'HR'.

例: At the moment I work at my college hospital, which is fine, but I would prefer to work in a hospital in the hills because I enjoy fresh air and scenic views, which help me relax after long shifts.

提案: Tense and grammar are incorrect. Give a clear statement of your plan followed by a reason or specific steps using linking words (so/because). Mention what you hope to improve or achieve in Canada (skills, certification).

例: In the future I plan to work as a nurse in Canada, so I am preparing for the licensing exams and improving my clinical skills to meet Canadian standards.

× Right now I am a nursing student.

✓ Right now I am a nursing student.

No correction needed. The sentence correctly uses present continuous 'am' with the adjective 'a nursing student' to describe current status.

× I'm work at hospital, the 25 bed Hope hospital.

✓ I work at the 25-bed Hope Hospital.

Error: incorrect verb form 'I'm work' mixes present continuous auxiliary with base verb. Use simple present 'I work' for habitual action. Also need hyphenation for '25-bed' as a compound adjective and capitalisation/definite article 'the' before hospital name.

× I work as a nursing officer.

✓ I work as a nurse.

'Nursing officer' is uncommon in this context; 'nurse' is the standard job title. Grammatically the original is acceptable, but using 'nurse' is clearer and more natural.

× For me it is just too good place because I am work where, I am work there.

✓ For me, it is just a very good place because I work there.

Errors: missing article 'a' before 'very good place'; 'too' is inappropriate here—'very' fits; 'I am work' is incorrect verb form—use simple present 'I work' for habitual action; redundant clauses simplified. Also added a comma after introductory phrase.

× So for me it is a good place.

✓ So, for me, it is a good place.

Minor punctuation: add commas for clarity. The tense and structure are correct.

× Right now I'm in the hospital of my college.

✓ Right now I'm at my college hospital.

'In the hospital of my college' is awkward. Use 'at my college hospital' or 'at the hospital affiliated with my college'. 'At' is more natural for locations like institutions.

× They are good but in my I like to a good hospital in hilly areas to connect with nature and I love it too.

✓ They are good, but I would prefer a good hospital in the hilly areas to connect with nature, which I would love.

Multiple problems: unclear subject 'They' (probably 'the facilities' or 'staff') but kept as 'They are good'; 'in my I like to a good hospital' is ungrammatical—rephrased to 'I would prefer a good hospital'; article 'a' placement corrected; 'hilly areas' needs 'the' or 'the hilly areas'; added conditional/modal 'would' to express preference; combined clauses for clarity.

× Good view of HR.

✓ There is a good view of the hills/It has a good view of the hills.

Original is a fragment lacking a verb and unclear 'HR' likely a typo for 'hill range' or 'hills'. Added a complete sentence with a verb. If 'HR' meant something else, replace with the correct term.

× In future, I worked as a nurse in abroad Canada, so I will go to Canada for my future work.

✓ In the future, I want to work as a nurse in Canada, so I will go to Canada for work.

Errors: 'In future' should be 'In the future'; 'I worked' is past tense incorrectly used—should be 'I want to work' or 'I plan to work' (future intention); 'in abroad Canada' incorrect word order and unnecessary 'abroad' with country—use 'in Canada'; simplified 'for my future work' to 'for work' or 'for my future career'.

× I improve there.

✓ I will improve my skills there./I hope to improve there.

'I improve there' is awkward and lacks tense for future intention. Use 'I will improve my skills there' to express future development or 'I hope to improve there.' Specify what will improve (skills) for clarity.