Work— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and confident: give a clear topic sentence, avoid hesitation sounds (umm), correct factual inconsistencies (Yunnan vs Hong Kong), and add one specific detail about duties using a linking phrase. Keep to a maximum of 3–4 short sentences.

例: I am a veterinary technician at a pet clinic. I have been working there for about a year. My main duties are assisting veterinarians during examinations and caring for hospitalized animals, so I also prepare medications and update patient records.

提案: Answer directly with the clinic name and one clear, specific detail. Remove repetition and grammar errors; use linking words to present duration and role. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: I work at Petcor Veterinary Clinic in Union Long. The clinic provides vaccinations, consultations, hospitalization and boarding, and I have worked there for six months as a veterinary technician assisting with treatments and patient care.

提案: Start with a direct evaluation, then give two concise, specific reasons using linking words. Avoid fillers and incomplete words; pronounce adjectives fully. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, it is a good place to work because the workplace culture is supportive and my colleagues are friendly. For example, my manager is very understanding and has a good sense of humour, which makes the environment relaxed.

提案: Respond directly to the question asked, avoid repeating or confusing phrases, and use correct verb forms (I like, not I am liking). Provide one specific reason with a linking phrase. Keep answers to 1–2 clear sentences.

例: Yes, I like the place where I work because the environment is quiet and less stressful, which helps me focus when caring for animals.

提案: Provide a clear topic sentence stating your plan, then add one or two specific steps or timeline. Eliminate hesitations and finish your thought. Use linking words (for example, therefore, next) to make your plan logical. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: In the future I plan to qualify to practise in Hong Kong and work as a veterinarian. To achieve this, I will gain more clinical experience here for two years and then prepare for the local licensing exams.

× I am currently working as a veterinary technician in a pet clinic in Yunnan.

✓ I currently work as a veterinary technician in a pet clinic in Yunnan.

Use simple present to describe a regular or current job. 'I am currently working' is acceptable conversationally, but the simple present is more natural and consistent when stating occupation.

× So I have been working in Hong Kong for quite some time now, maybe more than umm the year.

✓ So I have been working in Hong Kong for quite some time now, maybe more than a year.

This sentence uses present perfect continuous correctly to show duration, but the article is wrong: use 'a year' not 'the year'. Remove filler 'umm' for clarity.

× So mainly my umm, my job is to assist.

✓ Basically, my job is to assist.

Redundant repetition 'my umm, my' and incomplete verb object make the sentence awkward. Use 'Basically' and remove fillers; if you mean 'assist veterinarians' add the object: 'assist veterinarians'.

× So I work in Petcor veterinary clinic union long.

✓ I work at Petcor Veterinary Clinic in Union Long.

Use 'work at' for workplaces and capitalize the clinic name; add preposition 'in' or 'at' before the place name. Correct order and proper noun capitalization improve clarity.

× So this clinic offers vaccination consultation, hospitalization as well as boarding.

✓ This clinic offers vaccination, consultations, hospitalization, and boarding.

Use parallel noun forms and add commas; 'vaccination consultation' is unclear—use 'vaccination' and 'consultations' or 'vaccination consultations'. Maintain parallel structure in a list.

× So I have been working there for like 6 months so I started working.

✓ I have been working there for about six months; I started six months ago.

Combine tense usage clearly: present perfect continuous to show ongoing duration and simple past to indicate the start time. Spell out numbers in formal speech and use 'about' instead of 'like' for clarity.

× It is a good place to work.

✓ It is a good place to work.

Sentence is grammatical; no change needed. Included for completeness.

× I like the, the culture and the people who I work with, especially our manager.

✓ I like the culture and the people I work with, especially our manager.

Drop the repeated 'the' and use the correct relative clause 'people I work with' rather than 'people who I work with' (both are acceptable, but the reduced form is more natural). Remove filler punctuation.

× She's so unders, uh, she is so understanding and uh, she's kind of funny so.

✓ She is very understanding and kind of funny.

Remove filler and incomplete word 'unders'. Use 'very' instead of 'so' for formality; combine into one clear sentence.

× Would you like the place? Yes, I am liking the place.

✓ Yes, I like the place.

Stative verb 'like' is generally used in simple present, not present continuous. Use 'I like the place.'

× Would you like the place where you live? Yes, I like the place where I work because. The the environment is quiet.

✓ Yes. I like the place where I work because the environment is quiet.

Question is mixed with wrong pronoun and fractured sentences. 'Would you like the place where you live?' is a different question; assumed intended: 'Do you like the place where you work?' Combine fragments, remove duplicate 'the', and complete the sentence.

× Umm, actually I am a registered veterinarian in the Philippines.

✓ Actually, I am a registered veterinarian in the Philippines.

Remove filler 'Umm' and add comma after 'Actually'. Sentence is otherwise correct regarding article use.

× I started work here to gain experience and yeah, earn money.

✓ I started working here to gain experience and earn money.

Use 'started working' (started + gerund) to indicate commencement of an action. Remove informal 'yeah'.

× But uh, for future, for future plans. However, for future plans I will.

✓ As for future plans, I will...

Original is fragmented and repetitive. Use 'As for my future plans, I will...' and then complete with intended follow-up. Avoid filler 'uh' and repetition.