Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer has some factual inaccuracies and grammatical errors. Victoria Beach is not the capital city of British Columbia; Victoria is. Also, avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure for clarity. Try to keep your answer concise and directly answer the question with supporting details using linking words.

例: My hometown is Victoria, the capital city of British Columbia. It is famous for its scenic views and beautiful natural surroundings, including rivers and parks. Many tourists visit during the summer to enjoy activities like hiking and boating with their families.

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical mistakes. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and be more specific about why you like the seaside restaurants. Avoid awkward phrasing and ensure your sentences are complete and coherent.

例: There are many places to visit in my hometown, but I especially like the seaside restaurants. They are popular because of their beautiful sunset and sunrise views. Enjoying a meal there creates a fantastic atmosphere that attracts many visitors from other areas.

提案: Your answer has grammatical errors and lacks a clear structure. Start by directly answering the question, then add relevant supporting details using linking words. Also, be careful with word choice and sentence construction to improve clarity and naturalness.

例: I have been living in this city for the past two years. It is well known for its architecture and beautiful natural viewpoints. In my free time, I enjoy hiking and sometimes visiting seaside restaurants to watch the sunset along the beach.

提案: Your answer is confusing due to unclear terms like 'Jungle Nation' and some grammatical mistakes. Make sure to directly answer the question with clear, relevant details. Use linking words to connect ideas logically and avoid repetition. Clarify who 'young people' are and why the town suits them.

例: Yes, my hometown is a great place for young people. For example, it has a botanical university that offers specialized studies, which attracts many students. Additionally, there are plenty of outdoor activities like hiking, boating, river rafting, and swimming that young people can enjoy.

× My hometown is Victoria Beach is the capital city of British Columbia.

✓ My hometown is Victoria Beach, which is the capital city of British Columbia.

The original sentence incorrectly combines two independent clauses without proper conjunction or punctuation, causing confusion. Adding 'which is' clarifies the relationship between the two parts, improving sentence structure.

× This city is known for its scenic views, transcooling rivers and for their natural beauty.

✓ This city is known for its scenic views, transcooling rivers, and its natural beauty.

The pronoun 'their' incorrectly refers back to 'city' which is singular. It should be 'its' to match the singular noun 'city'. Also, parallel structure is improved by repeating 'its' before 'natural beauty'.

× Many tourists came in the summer season to enjoy the nature and they spend the time with the family members, do the hiking and boating as well.

✓ Many tourists come in the summer season to enjoy nature, and they spend time with family members, hiking and boating as well.

The sentence mixes past tense 'came' with present tense 'spend' and 'do'. Since this is a habitual action, present tense should be used consistently. Also, 'the nature' is incorrect; 'nature' is uncountable and does not need 'the'.

× As there are many places in my hometown to visit but I like the seaside restaurant which are very popular because of their sunset and sunrise view.

✓ There are many places in my hometown to visit, but I like the seaside restaurants which are very popular because of their sunset and sunrise views.

The original sentence incorrectly uses both 'As' and 'but' together, which is redundant. Removing 'As' and correcting 'restaurant' to plural 'restaurants' to agree with 'which are' improves clarity and grammar.

× In addition to this, the view and while enjoying a dinner gives you a fantastic feeling and attractive the most customers from other places.

✓ In addition to this, the view while enjoying dinner gives you a fantastic feeling and attracts most customers from other places.

The sentence has awkward phrasing and incorrect verb forms. 'Attractive' should be 'attracts' to function as a verb. Also, 'a dinner' is incorrect; 'dinner' is uncountable here. The sentence is restructured for clarity.

× Well, I am living in this city from last two years.

✓ Well, I have been living in this city for the last two years.

The present continuous 'am living' is incorrect for an action that started in the past and continues to the present. The present perfect continuous 'have been living' is appropriate. Also, 'from last two years' should be 'for the last two years'.

× This city is famous for its architectural and the natural viewpoint.

✓ This city is famous for its architecture and natural viewpoints.

'Architectural' is an adjective and needs a noun to modify; 'architecture' is the correct noun form. Also, 'viewpoint' should be plural 'viewpoints' to match the context.

× I like to do hiking in my free time.

✓ I like to go hiking in my free time.

The verb 'do' is not typically used with 'hiking'. The correct expression is 'go hiking'.

× sometimes I go for the seaside restaurants to enjoy the sunset view along the beach.

✓ Sometimes I go to the seaside restaurants to enjoy the sunset view along the beach.

The preposition 'for' is incorrect here; 'go to' is the correct phrase when referring to visiting a place.

× Yes, there is no doubt this place is very suitable for the Jungle Nation.

✓ Yes, there is no doubt this place is very suitable for the Jungle Nation people.

The phrase 'for the Jungle Nation' is incomplete; adding 'people' clarifies the meaning.

× First and foremost reason is that there's one botanical university which offers the study of plants and species.

✓ The first and foremost reason is that there is a botanical university which offers the study of plants and species.

The sentence is missing the definite article 'The' at the beginning. Also, 'there's one' is better expressed as 'there is a' for formal clarity.

× Moreover, there are many activities where the Jungle Nation people can do, such as hiking, boat boating, river rafting and swimming.

✓ Moreover, there are many activities that the Jungle Nation people can do, such as hiking, boating, river rafting, and swimming.

The relative pronoun 'where' is incorrect for activities; 'that' is appropriate. Also, 'boat boating' is redundant; 'boating' suffices.