Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid filler words like 'uh' and 'um' to make your answer sound more natural and fluent. Also, correct the name 'Kanaga' to 'Kanagawa' and improve sentence structure for clarity. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: My hometown is Yokohama, which is located in Kanagawa Prefecture near Tokyo. It is very convenient because Yokohama Station connects to many parts of Japan, making travel easy.

提案: Avoid repeating words and filler sounds. Structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details using linking words. Be more specific and concise.

例: I like my hometown because it has many shopping malls, especially those selling sports brands. For example, I can easily buy basketball shoes and equipment, which is very convenient for me.

提案: Try to avoid repetition and filler words. Use correct verb forms and link your ideas clearly. Express your feelings and future plans in a coherent way.

例: I have lived in Yokohama for 25 years, but I will soon move to another country. Although I feel a little sad to leave my hometown, I am excited and looking forward to my new life.

提案: Improve grammar by using correct plural forms and articles. Avoid filler words and repeat words. Use linking words to connect your points clearly and provide specific examples.

例: I think my hometown is a great place for young people because it has many entertainment facilities. For example, Yokohama has popular amusement parks and also offers good educational institutions like universities and high schools.

× My hometown is Yokohama, which is located on the Kanaga Prefecture.

✓ My hometown is Yokohama, which is located in Kanagawa Prefecture.

The definite article 'the' is not used before names of prefectures or regions in English. Also, the correct preposition is 'in' rather than 'on' when referring to locations within regions or prefectures.

× Uh, there's, uh, the Kanaga prefecture is really near from Tokyo and my hometown is really convenient place to go everywhere because they're a big station called Yokohama station, which is connected to allow connected the along the Japan.

✓ Kanagawa Prefecture is really near Tokyo, and my hometown is a really convenient place to go everywhere because there is a big station called Yokohama Station, which is connected along Japan.

The phrase 'near from' is incorrect; 'near' does not require 'from'. Also, 'there's' is unnecessary here. 'They're' is incorrect when referring to a singular station; 'there is' should be used. The phrase 'connected to allow connected the along the Japan' is unclear and grammatically incorrect; it should be simplified to 'connected along Japan' or 'connected throughout Japan'.

× What I like my hometown is there are many, uh, shopping malls in my home in hometown, especially, uh, especially like sports brand, uh, when I want to something about basketball, I can buy anything, uh, uh, for example, basketball, basketball shoes.

✓ What I like about my hometown is that there are many shopping malls, especially sports brands. When I want something related to basketball, I can buy anything, for example, basketball shoes.

The phrase 'many, uh, shopping malls in my home in hometown' is redundant and awkward; 'in my hometown' suffices. 'Especially like sports brand' is incorrect; it should be 'especially sports brands'. 'When I want to something about basketball' is incorrect; it should be 'when I want something related to basketball'. 'I can buy anything' is acceptable but could be clearer with context.

× I I have lived for 25 years right now but I will move to different countries.

✓ I have lived here for 25 years, but I will move to a different country.

The phrase 'lived for 25 years right now' is awkward; 'have lived here for 25 years' is more natural. 'Move to different countries' is incorrect if referring to a single future move; it should be 'move to a different country'.

× So I feels little sad to to leave my hometown.

✓ So I feel a little sad to leave my hometown.

The verb 'feels' does not agree with the subject 'I'; it should be 'feel'. Also, 'little sad' should be 'a little sad' to be grammatically correct.

× But I think a new life is quite excited.

✓ But I think a new life is quite exciting.

The adjective 'excited' describes a feeling of a person, while 'exciting' describes something that causes excitement. Since 'a new life' causes excitement, 'exciting' is the correct adjective.

× So umm I'm so looking forward to a new life.

✓ So, um, I'm really looking forward to a new life.

The phrase 'so looking forward' is awkward; 'really looking forward' is more natural. Also, adding commas after 'so' and 'umm' improves clarity.

× I think my hometown is really good place to young peoples because there are a lot of entertainment facilities, especially, uh, for example, you'll come in Yokohama, there are many amusement park, uh, which which is really popular for young people and also educational facilities is there as well, University high school.

✓ I think my hometown is a really good place for young people because there are a lot of entertainment facilities. For example, if you come to Yokohama, there are many amusement parks, which are really popular with young people. Also, educational facilities such as universities and high schools are there as well.

'Good place to young peoples' is incorrect; it should be 'good place for young people'. 'Amusement park' should be plural 'amusement parks' to match 'many'. 'Which which is' is a repetition and should be 'which are'. 'Educational facilities is there' should be 'educational facilities are there'. 'University high school' is unclear; it should be 'universities and high schools'.