Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 文法の誤りと語彙の選択に注意しましょう。例えば、「Ibarika prefecture」は「Ibaraki prefecture」が正しいです。また、「This is renowned as scientific city」は「It is renowned as a science city」と自然な表現に直す必要があります。さらに、「Rod of trees」は不自然なので、「a lot of trees」や「forests」などに変えましょう。

例: My hometown is Tsukuba City in Ibaraki prefecture, Japan. It is renowned as a science city. Also, it is surrounded by a lot of nature, including Mount Tsukuba and many forests.

提案: 文法と語彙の誤りを修正し、より具体的な説明を加えましょう。例えば、「which named Mansukhba」は「called Mount Tsukuba」に直し、なぜその山が好きか理由を詳しく述べると良いです。

例: I especially like the nature in my hometown because it has Mount Tsukuba, one of the most famous mountains in the area. I often go hiking there to enjoy the beautiful scenery and fresh air.

提案: 質問に直接答え、不要な情報を省きましょう。また、「I go to there from my hometown by car」は意味が不明瞭なので削除するか、明確にしましょう。

例: I have lived in my hometown for 23 years since I was born. Currently, I am a fourth-year university student in Japan.

提案: 文法の誤りを直し、具体的な理由や例をもっと詳しく述べましょう。「she often go to there」は「she often goes there」に修正し、なぜそれが若者に良いのか説明を加えると良いです。

例: Yes, my hometown is a great place for young people because it has many museums and scientific centers. For example, my girlfriend, who is interested in space, often visits the local space museum to learn more.

× This is renowned as scientific city.

✓ This is renowned as a scientific city.

The noun 'scientific city' is singular and countable, so it requires the indefinite article 'a' before it.

× Also, this is surrounded by a lot of nature, namely Mount Tsukuba and Rod of trees.

✓ Also, it is surrounded by a lot of nature, namely Mount Tsukuba and rows of trees.

The pronoun 'this' is better replaced with 'it' when referring back to the city. The phrase 'Rod of trees' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'rows of trees' to describe lines of trees.

× Especially I like nature in my hometown because my hometown has one of the most famous mountain which named Mansukhba.

✓ Especially, I like nature in my hometown because my hometown has one of the most famous mountains which is named Mansukhba.

The phrase 'one of the most famous mountain' should use the plural 'mountains' because 'one of the' is followed by a plural noun. Also, 'which named' should be 'which is named' to form a correct relative clause.

× Currently I'm a fourth university student in Japan.

✓ Currently, I'm a fourth-year university student in Japan.

The phrase 'fourth university student' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'fourth-year university student' to indicate the year of study.

× Also, I go to there from my hometown by car.

✓ Also, I go there from my hometown by car.

The phrase 'go to there' is incorrect; the correct form is 'go there' without the preposition 'to'.

× For example, my girlfriend is interested in space, so that she often go to there.

✓ For example, my girlfriend is interested in space, so she often goes there.

The phrase 'go to there' is incorrect; it should be 'goes there'. Also, 'so that' is unnecessary here; 'so' is sufficient. Additionally, 'go' should be 'goes' to agree with the third person singular subject 'she'.