Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is clear and provides location details, but it could be more natural and concise. Avoid repeating similar information and try to use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: My hometown is Copointa, located in northern Mallorca, nestled between mountains and beautiful beaches.

提案: Your answer is a bit long and contains some redundancy and grammatical errors. Try to be more concise and use linking words to organize your ideas. Also, avoid filler phrases like 'I could speak ages about this'.

例: I really like the beaches in my hometown because they have crystal clear waters and attract many Europeans and Americans during the summer.

提案: Your answer is informative but could be more fluent and natural. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid awkward phrasing like 'until when I was 18'.

例: I was born and raised in Copointa until I was 18, when I moved to Barcelona to attend university. Now, I live in Barcelona.

提案: Your answer has some hesitation and unclear expressions. Try to be more confident and precise. Use linking words to contrast ideas and provide specific reasons.

例: My hometown is a great place for young children because it is very safe and allows them to be independent. However, for teenagers, it might be less ideal due to the limited social activities available.

× Well, I could speak ages about this, but the most of it I would say the the beaches, they are crystal, they have crystal clear waters and they are so popular among European and Americans during summer, there are plenty of people.

✓ Well, I could speak for ages about this, but most of all I would say the beaches; they are crystal clear, they have crystal clear waters, and they are so popular among Europeans and Americans during summer; there are plenty of people.

The phrase 'speak ages' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'speak for ages'. 'The most of it' should be 'most of all' to express the main point. 'Crystal' alone is incomplete; 'crystal clear' is the correct adjective phrase. 'European and Americans' should be pluralized as 'Europeans and Americans' to refer to people from those regions. Also, the sentence structure was improved for clarity.

× I was born there and I lived there until when I was 18 that I moved to Barcelona to start the university and now I live in Barcelona.

✓ I was born there and I lived there until I was 18, when I moved to Barcelona to start university, and now I live in Barcelona.

The phrase 'until when I was 18 that I moved' is awkward and incorrect. It should be 'until I was 18, when I moved' to correctly indicate the time of moving. Also, 'the university' is unnecessary here; 'start university' is the correct expression.

× For young kids, yes, because it's such a safe place and they can be so autonomous. But for teenager maybe it's a bit, umm, there. There are a lack of social life maybe.

✓ For young kids, yes, because it's such a safe place and they can be very autonomous. But for teenagers, maybe it's a bit lacking. There is a lack of social life, maybe.

'Teenager' should be pluralized to 'teenagers' to refer to the group. 'There are a lack of social life' is incorrect because 'lack' is singular; it should be 'There is a lack of social life'. Also, 'a bit, umm, there' is unclear and was replaced with 'a bit lacking' for clarity.