Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be clearer and more accurate with facts and grammar. Start with a concise topic sentence stating location, then add one or two specific, relevant details. Avoid repetitions and incorrect phrases (e.g., 'people in there', 'hold its altar'). Use correct article/noun forms and simpler vocabulary if unsure.

例: My hometown is Utrecht, a small quiet town in northern Thailand, located between Plan and Pisnullo provinces. The community is close-knit and generous, and many residents participate in traditional religious ceremonies at the local temple, which gives the town a warm atmosphere.

提案: Organize the answer: give one main reason and then a clear supporting example. Fix grammar (e.g., 'fairly and generous' → 'friendly and generous'; remove repetitions). Use linking words like 'for example' or 'because' to connect ideas.

例: I like the people in my hometown because they are friendly and generous. For example, neighbors often help each other with chores, and in the evenings families share homemade dishes, so people frequently exchange food and talk together.

提案: Give a clear direct answer first, then a brief reason. Reduce hesitations and correct tense and word choice (e.g., 'transferred to this city' → 'moved here'). Keep sentences short and coherent.

例: I have lived there for just over ten years. My parents moved to this town when I was a child, and we like the warm, friendly atmosphere so we decided to stay.

提案: Answer directly and clearly: state yes/no, then give one or two specific reasons. Use correct grammar (e.g., 'In my opinion, yes' and 'good for young people because there are schools and it is safe and peaceful'). Avoid vague phrases like 'schools play' and reduce filler words.

例: In my opinion, yes. My hometown is a good place for young people because it has several schools, a safe environment, and a calm, supportive community that helps children grow.

× It's located between Plan and Pisnullo province in northern Thailand.

✓ It's located between Plan and Pisnullo provinces in northern Thailand.

The noun 'province' should be plural here because two provinces (Plan and Pisnullo) are mentioned. Use the plural noun 'provinces' to match the list of places. Also no definite article is needed before 'provinces' in this context.

× People in there are willing to hold its altar and also fairly and generous.

✓ People there are willing to hold their altar and are also fair and generous.

Use 'there' without 'in' after 'people'. 'Its' is incorrect because it refers to a place; use the plural possessive 'their' for people. Adjectives 'fair' and 'generous' require the linking verb 'are', and use 'fair' (adjective) not 'fairly' (adverb).

× I like people in my hometown because they are fairly and generous.

✓ I like people in my hometown because they are fair and generous.

'Fairly' is an adverb and does not correctly modify the adjective 'generous' here. Use the adjective 'fair' to list two adjectives describing people: 'fair and generous'. Also 'people in my hometown' is acceptable; 'there' is omitted for clarity.

× They are willing to help each other and also in the evening they have a favorite dish and we we can they can exchange the favorites to each other like they just do.

✓ They are willing to help each other. In the evening they have a favorite dish, and we can exchange our favorite dishes with each other.

Original sentence is run-on and contains redundancy and pronoun errors. Split into two sentences for clarity. Use 'we can exchange our favorite dishes with each other' to correct word order and pronouns. Remove duplicate 'we'. Use plural 'dishes' to match 'favorite' items exchanged.

× I live in my hometown, uh, for just over 10 years because I just, uh, when I was younger, my parents transferred to this city and is a heartwarming atmosphere.

✓ I have lived in my hometown for just over ten years because when I was younger my parents moved to this city and it has a heartwarming atmosphere.

Use present perfect 'have lived' to express an action continuing up to now. 'Transferred to' is unnatural; use 'moved to'. 'Is a heartwarming atmosphere' lacks a subject; use 'it has a heartwarming atmosphere.' Spell out 'ten' for formality. Remove filler 'uh'.

× So we live in this place and we don't want to transfer to.

✓ So we live in this place and we don't want to move away.

'Transfer to' is incorrect collocation for leaving a hometown; use 'move away' to express not wanting to leave. The original sentence lacks an object after 'to.'

× From my opinion, yes I did.

✓ In my opinion, yes.

'From my opinion' is incorrect preposition; use 'In my opinion.' 'Yes I did' is unnecessary and incorrect here because the question asks for an opinion, not whether an action was done.

× My hometown is schools play for young people because it's a a simple, comfortable like an is quiet and small player to help uh people to growing up in this atmosphere.

✓ My hometown is a good place for young people because it's simple, comfortable, quiet and small, which helps people grow up in this atmosphere.

Original sentence has multiple structural errors and wrong word choices: 'schools play' is meaningless here; replace with 'a good place.' Remove duplicate 'a' and filler 'uh.' Use adjectives in correct order and form ('quiet' not 'an is quiet'). Use 'helps people grow up' (verb infinitive 'grow' after 'helps') and relative clause 'which helps' to link the ideas.