Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence naming your hometown, avoid filler words (uh) and correct grammar (city vs. country). Give one brief supporting detail about current location or study using a linking word.

例: I’m from Kashkadarya in Uzbekistan. However, I currently study at a university in Tashkent, so I split my time between my hometown and the capital.

提案: Reduce repetition and correct word choice, use one linking word to add a specific example. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and use precise vocabulary (peaceful, parks, neighbors).

例: I like my hometown because it is peaceful and scenic. For example, there are green parks and a riverside where I enjoy walking in the evenings; meeting old friends there helps me relax.

提案: Answer directly with the correct tense and clear time expression. Avoid confusing place names and numbers. Use one sentence stating when you moved and another short sentence if necessary to clarify continuity.

例: I have lived in Kashkadarya since 1990 when my family moved there, so I have lived there for over thirty years.

提案: Good direct answer. To improve, add a linking word and one specific example of a job sector or a university to make the response more concrete and convincing.

例: Yes, my hometown is a good place for young people because there are many job opportunities in the textile and agricultural industries, and it has several reputable universities nearby, such as Kashkadarya State University.

× My hometown is Uzbekistan, uh, the country in Kashi.

✓ My hometown is Kashi, a city in Uzbekistan.

The student used 'My hometown is Uzbekistan' but hometown should be a city or town, not a country; also 'the country in Kashi' is incorrect article and word order. Use 'Kashi, a city in Uzbekistan' to correctly identify place and avoid wrong article usage.

× I live, uh, I live in Kashi and now I study university is Tashkent because, uh, my university located in Tashkent.

✓ I live in Kashi and now I study at a university in Tashkent because my university is located in Tashkent.

Original sentence has redundant fragments and missing prepositions and verb forms. Use 'study at a university' (correct preposition) and 'my university is located' to include the verb 'is'. This fixes sentence structure and article usage.

× I like my hometown because it is very beautiful and peace peaceful.

✓ I like my hometown because it is very beautiful and peaceful.

'peace peaceful' is incorrect duplication and 'peace' is a noun while 'peaceful' is the adjective needed to modify 'it'. Remove the extra word and keep 'peaceful'.

× There are green parkers and friendly neighbor.

✓ There are green parks and friendly neighbors.

'parkers' is incorrect spelling; use 'parks' plural because 'are' indicates plural. 'neighbor' should be plural 'neighbors' to agree with 'there are'. This corrects singular/plural agreement and spelling.

× For example, I enjoy walking by the river in the evening and meeting old friends, which makes me feel relaxed and at home.

✓ For example, I enjoy walking by the river in the evening and meeting old friends, which makes me feel relaxed and at home.

This sentence is grammatically correct in present tense and needs no change. It correctly uses present simple 'enjoy' and relative clause 'which makes me feel'.

× I lived in a Karachi because my parents, my family is moved there there in 1990, ninety years and I have lived there ever since.

✓ I have lived in Karachi because my parents moved there in 1990, and I have lived there ever since.

Use present perfect 'have lived' to show continuing action up to now. 'lived in a Karachi' is wrong article; use 'in Karachi'. 'my family is moved there' should be past simple 'moved' for the completed action in 1990. Remove redundant 'there' and incorrect 'ninety years' phrase.

× My hometown is good place for young people because there are many job opportunities in the local industries and several good universities nearby.

✓ My hometown is a good place for young people because there are many job opportunities in the local industries and several good universities nearby.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before 'good place' is required in English. The rest of the sentence is acceptable. Adding 'a' fixes the article error.