Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more specific and direct. Start with a clear topic sentence stating the town and its general location, then add one or two concise, relevant details with linking words. Correct awkward phrasing and avoid repetition.

例: I come from X Prefecture, a small town in the western outskirts of the city. Although it is quite rural, it is within easy commuting distance of the larger cities, so I enjoy a peaceful environment while still having access to urban amenities.

提案: Give a clear reason and specific examples. Use linking words (for example, because, therefore) and avoid vague or contradictory phrases. Mention particular features you appreciate (parks, community, safety).

例: I like my hometown mainly because of its calm and peaceful atmosphere. For example, there are many green parks and low traffic, so I can go for quiet walks and feel safe, which suits my lifestyle.

提案: Use correct tense and natural time expressions. Start with a direct answer about the length of time, then briefly explain the reason with a linking word. Avoid vague phrases like 'aligns well with my priorities' without specifics.

例: I have lived there for about ten years. I moved there when I started university, because the town offered good study programs and a quieter environment that helped me concentrate on my coursework.

提案: State your position clearly and support it with specific reasons relevant to young people, such as education, job opportunities, social life or safety. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repeating the same phrase.

例: Yes, I think it can be a good place for young people, especially those who prefer a quiet life. For instance, it has safe neighbourhoods, affordable housing and several community clubs, although those seeking a lively nightlife might prefer a bigger city.

× My hometown is located in about prefecture.

✓ My hometown is located in a prefecture.

The phrase 'located in about prefecture' is ungrammatical. Likely intended meaning is 'in a prefecture.' Use the indefinite article 'a' before a singular, countable noun ('prefecture'). Replace 'about' with 'a' and remove 'about'.

× I grew up in the countryside in western part of the city.

✓ I grew up in the countryside in the western part of the city.

When specifying a particular part of a place, use the definite article 'the' with 'western part.' Also include 'the' before 'western part' to form 'the western part of the city.'

× The pace of life is toward the biggest cities.

✓ The pace of life is slower than in the biggest cities.

The original sentence 'is toward the biggest cities' is unclear and ungrammatical. To compare pace of life with big cities, use a comparative structure: 'slower than in the biggest cities.' This clarifies the relationship and corrects sentence structure.

× I'm quite comfortable with it.

✓ I'm quite comfortable with it.

This sentence is grammatically correct. No change needed. It uses correct first person singular contraction and adjective 'comfortable.'

× I really like my hometown, which has calm and peaceful atmosphere.

✓ I really like my hometown, which has a calm and peaceful atmosphere.

'Atmosphere' is a singular, countable noun here and requires the article 'a.' Insert 'a' before 'calm.'

× The pace of life is throughout the biggest cities.

✓ The pace of life is more relaxed than in the biggest cities.

'Is throughout the biggest cities' is ungrammatical and unclear. To express contrast, use a comparative form such as 'more relaxed than in the biggest cities.' This corrects meaning and structure.

× I arrived there for about 10 years.

✓ I have lived there for about 10 years.

'Arrived there for about 10 years' mixes past action with a duration expression. Use present perfect 'have lived' to indicate an action that started in the past and continues to the present, and use 'for about 10 years' to indicate duration.

× I moved there because of my study.

✓ I moved there because of my studies.

Use plural 'studies' when referring to education in general. 'Because of my study' is uncommon; 'because of my studies' or 'to study' are idiomatic. Also 'moved' correctly uses past tense to describe a past action.

× It aligns well with my priorities.

✓ It aligns well with my priorities.

This sentence is grammatically correct and uses the present simple correctly to state a general fact. No change needed.

× My hometown has a calm and peaceful atmosphere.

✓ My hometown has a calm and peaceful atmosphere.

This sentence is correct: singular subject 'hometown' matches singular verb 'has.' No change needed.

× It's relatively quiet and not overly crowded.

✓ It's relatively quiet and not overly crowded.

This sentence is correct; adverbs 'relatively' and 'overly' are used appropriately. No change needed.

× I feel quite comfortable with it.

✓ I feel quite comfortable with it.

This sentence is grammatically correct. The first person singular 'I' with verb 'feel' is correctly formed. No change needed.