Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 文法と語順の改善、語彙の自然さに注意してください。具体的には “settled, located in the western of its prefecture” のような不自然な表現を避け、前置詞や所有格の使い方を直しましょう。文を分け過ぎず、トピックセンテンス（場所）を最初に言い、その後に理由（緑が多い、穏やか）をリンク語（because, and, also）でつなげるとより自然です。発音や縮約（'cause → because）の使用は会話的には許容されますが、明瞭に発音することを意識してください。

例: My hometown is in the western part of the prefecture. I like it because it has many leafy areas and a calm atmosphere.

提案: 意味は伝わりますが、文法とつながりが不自然です。まず明確なトピックセンテンス（何が好きか）を述べ、その後に理由をつなげる接続詞（because, mainly because）を使いましょう。また“neighbor is kind for my family”では前置詞は“to”を使い、“Is greatest reason”は正しい主語・動詞を入れて表現を完成させてください。具体例や期間を示すと内容が豊かになります。

例: I especially appreciate the people in my hometown because my neighbors have always been very kind to my family. This is the main reason I love living there, and we have gotten along for many years.

提案: 基本は良いですが、文構成をもう少し整理すると自然になります。現在完了形の質問には“for + 期間”や“since + 起点”を使って端的に答え、続けて簡単な理由や結果（友達が多いなど）を一文でつなげると効果的です。不要な語（Actually）や冗長表現を減らしましょう。

例: I've lived there for 21 years; I was born there. Because of that, I know the town well and have many close friends.

提案: アイデアは良いですが、語法と語彙の選択を直してください。“parks that child can place”は意味が不明瞭なので、“parks where children can play” のように表現しましょう。また“easy to commute there”は“easy to commute to”あるいは“easy to get around”の方が自然です。理由を二つ述べるときは linking words（for example, and）で整理するとまとまりが良くなります。

例: Yes, I think it's a great place for young people because there are many parks where children can play, and there are two large primary schools, so it's easy for families to get around.

× My hometown is settled, located in the western of its prefecture.

✓ My hometown is located in the west of its prefecture.

'In the western of its prefecture' is incorrect preposition and form. Use 'in the west of' or simply 'in the western part of'. 'Settled, located' is redundant; remove 'settled'. Suggestion: say 'My hometown is located in the west of its prefecture.'

× I love my hometown 'cause there are many leafy areas and I think my hometown is peaceful.

✓ I love my hometown because there are many leafy areas, and I think it is peaceful.

' 'cause' is informal; use 'because'. Also the sentence is long and repeats 'my hometown'; replace the second instance with 'it' and add a comma before 'and' to join independent clauses.

× I love all of my hometown, however that my neighbor is kind for my family.

✓ I love everything about my hometown; moreover, my neighbor is kind to my family.

'All of my hometown' is unnatural; use 'everything about my hometown'. 'However that' is incorrect conjunction; use 'moreover' or separate sentences. Preposition 'for' is wrong with 'kind'; use 'kind to'.

× Is greatest reason.

✓ That is the main reason.

Sentence fragment without subject and verb. Add subject 'That' and verb 'is', and use article 'the' before 'main reason'.

× We get along with for a long time.

✓ We have gotten along for a long time.

'Get along with' requires an object (someone), but context implies reciprocal relationship so use 'have gotten along' (present perfect) without 'with', or 'have gotten along with each other'. Also 'for a long time' fits present perfect: 'have gotten along for a long time.'

× Actually for 21 years because I've lived there since I was born, so I know all of my hometown and I have many close friends.

✓ Actually, for 21 years. I've lived there since I was born, so I know my hometown well and I have many close friends.

Run-on sentence and awkward phrasing. 'Actually for 21 years' should be a clause; add punctuation. 'All of my hometown' is unnatural; say 'my hometown well'. Tense 'I've lived' is correct. Add commas and split sentences for clarity.

× Definitely yes, because there are many parks that child can place and there are two big elementary schools so it is easy to commute there.

✓ Definitely yes, because there are many parks where children can play, and there are two large elementary schools, so it is easy for them to commute there.

'That child can place' is wrong: 'where children can play' is correct. 'Big' can be 'large'; 'so it is easy to commute there' is vague—specify 'for them to commute' or 'for students to commute'. Use plural 'children'.