Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence naming the place, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and unfinished fragments. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., 'parks' not 'parkers') and correct articles and word order.

例: My hometown is Tashkent, the capital of Uzbekistan. It is a bustling city, but it also has many parks and tree-lined streets, so there are pleasant green spaces to relax in.

提案: Begin with a clear topic sentence stating what you like, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words (for example, 'because' or 'also'). Mention concrete details (parks, rivers, architecture) and avoid vague fragments. Check grammar for prepositions and word order.

例: I like the green spaces in my hometown because it has many beautiful trees and parks. For example, there is a large park beside the river where I often walk and relax.

提案: Answer directly with a clear time frame in the first sentence (e.g., 'I have lived there since I was born' or 'For twenty-five years'). Then, if relevant, add one short detail about who you lived with or why you stayed. Avoid unrelated or unclear phrases and check tense usage.

例: I have lived in Tashkent since I was born. I grew up there with my family, so it feels like a comfortable and familiar place to relax.

提案: This answer is generally clear and well structured. To improve, make the opening sentence more natural and avoid fillers like 'The end.' Add one specific example or comparison to strengthen your point and vary vocabulary (e.g., 'youths' or 'teenagers').

例: Yes, definitely — my hometown is a great place for young people. There are many parks, playgrounds and good schools, and community centers offer sports teams and clubs, so children and teenagers have safe places to learn and socialise.

× It's a bustling city but also has many parkers and tree lined streets, so there are pleasant green spaces to enjoy.

✓ It's a bustling city but also has many parks and tree-lined streets, so there are pleasant green spaces to enjoy.

The word 'parkers' is incorrect; the correct noun is 'parks' (plural). 'Tree lined' should be hyphenated as 'tree-lined' when used as a compound adjective before a noun. Use plural agreement for 'parks' to match 'many'. Suggestion: Replace 'parkers' with 'parks' and hyphenate compound adjectives (tree-lined).

× For everyone, for everyone else, for something.

✓ (Remove this fragment; no correction needed because it does not form a complete idea.)

This is a sentence fragment that does not contain a clear subject and verb or meaning. It should be removed or rewritten to express a complete thought. Suggestion: Delete this fragment or replace it with a complete sentence, e.g. 'There are facilities for everyone.'.

× That I like about my hometown that such as my located in the and beautiful trees and I was a lot of river located in the near the river, so I like.

✓ What I like about my hometown is that it has many beautiful trees and a river nearby, so I enjoy spending time there.

The original is ungrammatical and contains multiple structural errors: incorrect word order, missing verbs, and unclear phrases. Rewritten to provide a clear subject ('What I like about my hometown'), linking verb ('is'), and parallel elements ('many beautiful trees and a river nearby') that fit the present-tense description. Suggestion: Use 'What I like about...' + 'is that' to introduce features, keep consistent tense, and use simple noun phrases ('many beautiful trees', 'a river nearby').

× To be honest that I lived and they are since I was born and since my Big Brother.

✓ To be honest, I have lived there since I was born.

The original mixes incorrect verb forms and unclear references. The present perfect 'have lived' is required for an action that started in the past and continues to the present ('since I was born'). Remove unclear phrases ('and they are', 'since my Big Brother') unless clarifying intent. Suggestion: Use present perfect with 'since' for duration: 'I have lived there since I was born.' If you meant to reference a sibling, clarify: '...and my big brother also lives there.'

× So they're their place is very column to relax so.

✓ So it's a very calm place to relax.

The original misuses pronouns ('they're their') and the word 'column' is incorrect; likely meant 'calm'. Replaced pronouns with 'it' to refer to the hometown and corrected adjective order: 'a very calm place to relax.' Suggestion: Use clear subject pronouns ('it' for the town) and choose the correct adjective ('calm').

× I yes, definitely my hometown is a great place for young people.

✓ Yes, definitely my hometown is a great place for young people.

Unnatural insertion of 'I' before 'yes' is incorrect. Remove the extra pronoun and keep a succinct response. Punctuation and word order should place 'Yes' at the start. Suggestion: Begin with 'Yes' or 'I think so' but not both together ('I yes').

× There are several parks and kindergarten playgrounds, good schools and community centers so children have safe places to play, an opportunity to join sports and clubs.

✓ There are several parks, kindergarten playgrounds, good schools, and community centers, so children have safe places to play and opportunities to join sports and clubs.

List punctuation needed (commas) and parallel structure for coordinated nouns. 'An opportunity' should be plural 'opportunities' to match 'children' (general plural reference). Use 'and' before final list item and ensure parallelism ('safe places to play and opportunities to join...'). Suggestion: Keep parallel noun forms and plural agreement when speaking generally about children.