Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Improve grammar and fluency: use correct verb forms and article usage, reduce hesitations, and give a clear concise topic sentence followed by one specific detail. For example, say the place (city and province), give one notable fact (historical sites or famous poet), and avoid filler words. Practice producing the sentence smoothly and limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: I come from Jinan in Shandong Province. It is a historic city known for its springs and association with famous poets like Li Qingzhao.

提案: Work on coherence and vocabulary: start with a clear topic sentence about liking the food, then give one or two specific examples (dishes, flavors), and use linking words to connect ideas. Correct grammar (there are → it has) and avoid repetition. Aim for 2–3 well-formed sentences with relevant vocabulary (flavorful, sweet-and-spicy, local specialties).

例: I especially love the food in my hometown because it features many local specialties. For instance, Jinan cuisine often combines sweet-and-spicy flavors, and dishes like sweet-and-sour pork and spicy pancakes are very popular.

提案: Make the timeline clear and concise: state the exact duration, then briefly explain upbringing and education using correct tense and fewer repetitions. Use linking words like 'because' or 'but' to show contrast (moved for university). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: I have lived in Jinan for almost twenty years because I was born and raised there. I attended primary and secondary school locally, but I moved to a nearby city to study at university.

提案: Clarify vocabulary and provide concrete examples: avoid unclear words (e.g., 'growing Texas' — likely 'tech sector' or 'tech hubs') and use correct plurals and articles. State a clear opinion, then list 2 specific reasons (universities, co-working spaces, tech companies) with a linking phrase like 'for example' or 'for instance'.

例: Yes, I think it's a good place for young people because it has several universities and affordable co‑working spaces. For example, the new tech incubators and local startups provide internships and job opportunities.

× Jinan City is a very beautiful and long history city, which have many famous poetry uh celebrated umm uh, such as Li Qingzhou since easy.

✓ Jinan City is a very beautiful city with a long history, which has produced many famous poets, such as Li Qingzhou.

Errors: 'long history city' is incorrect adjective order and noun form; should be 'a city with a long history' (Article and word order). 'which have' is wrong subject-verb agreement; 'which' refers to the city (singular) so use 'has' (subject-verb agreement). 'many famous poetry' uses the noun 'poetry' (uncountable) instead of 'poets' (people), and 'celebrated' was used incorrectly. Suggestion: Use correct adjective order, ensure articles before singular nouns, match verb to singular subject, and use the correct noun ('poets') to refer to people. Specific improvements: replace 'long history city' with 'a city with a long history'; change 'have' to 'has'; change 'famous poetry' to 'famous poets'.

× I think the food is the top one do not have many delicious food and is famous for new cuisines and it have many spicy sweet sauce.

✓ I think the food is the best; there are many delicious dishes and it is famous for new cuisines, with many spicy sweet sauces.

Errors: Run-on sentence and multiple agreement issues. 'do not have many delicious food' is ungrammatical: 'food' as uncountable must be 'many delicious dishes' or 'a lot of delicious food', and subject-verb agreement: 'it have' should be 'it has' (referring to the hometown). Also 'is the top one' is informal; 'is the best' fits meaning. Use 'there are' when introducing plural countable items ('there are many dishes'). Suggestion: Break into clearer clauses, use 'there are' for plural items, use 'has' for singular subject, and prefer 'dishes' for countable items. Specific improvements: use 'the best', 'there are many delicious dishes', 'it is famous' and 'many spicy sweet sauces' or 'a spicy-sweet sauce'.

× For almost 20 years, since I was child, since I was born, I was I was living here and I go to primary school, secondary school, but when I go to university, I go to another city, but it is nearby Jinan.

✓ I lived here for almost 20 years since I was a child; I was born here and attended primary and secondary school here, but when I went to university I went to another city nearby Jinan.

Errors: Wrong tense forms and repetition. Use simple past ('lived', 'attended', 'went') for completed actions in the past. 'since I was child' needs article: 'since I was a child'. 'I was I was living' is redundant and incorrect; 'I lived here' is correct. 'I go to' should be past 'I went to' when describing past events. Suggestion: Use past tense for events that are completed and include appropriate articles ('a child'). Use 'attended' for schooling and avoid repetition. Specific improvements: change 'I was I was living here' to 'I lived here', 'I go' to 'I went', and add 'a' in 'a child'.

× It's a cohesion which which.

✓ It has a close community.

Errors: 'a cohesion' is an unnatural noun choice and 'which which' is repetition and incomplete clause. The intended idea is likely 'a cohesive community' or 'a close-knit community'. Suggestion: Use natural collocations like 'a close community' or 'a close-knit community' and avoid repeated filler words. Specific improvements: replace 'It's a cohesion which which' with 'It has a close-knit community' or 'It is a cohesive community'.

× It has several universities, Co working space and a growing Texas which provide career and learning prospects.

✓ It has several universities, co-working spaces, and a growing tech sector which provide career and learning prospects.

Errors: 'Co working space' should be 'co-working spaces' (correct compound noun and plural if multiple spaces). 'growing Texas' is likely a mispronunciation of 'tech sector' or 'tech industry'; 'Texas' is a place name and incorrect here. Also 'which provide' refers to the plural noun phrase (universities, co-working spaces, tech sector) so plural verb 'provide' is acceptable; ensure nouns are pluralized properly. Suggestion: Use correct compound noun 'co-working spaces' and 'tech sector' to express technology industry; ensure capitalization is appropriate (no capital T for tech unless proper noun).