Hometown— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Make the answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid repetition and grammatical errors (e.g., run-on sentence).

例: I’m from Hong Kong, an international city in Asia. It’s particularly famous for its impressive skyline and busy, fast-paced lifestyle, which I’ve always enjoyed.

提案: Answer directly with a clear main idea then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases and wordiness; check grammar and sentence flow.

例: I like Hong Kong because it blends Eastern and Western cultures. As a result, I grew up experiencing different traditions and foods, which broadened my perspective and made living there interesting.

提案: Provide a clear, concise time statement followed by a brief personal comment. Use correct tense and reduce repetition ('still' used twice).

例: I lived in Hong Kong for about 15 years before moving to Nanaimo to study. Although I now live abroad, I still feel very connected to the city and miss it.

提案: Give a clear opinion and support it with specific examples, using smooth linking words. Avoid fillers (uh), repetition, and grammatical errors (plural/singular, word order).

例: Yes, Hong Kong is great for young people because there are many cafes, restaurants and shopping malls, and public transport is very efficient, so it’s easy to get around and meet friends.

× My hometown is in Hong Kong, which is a very well known international city in Asia, is especially famous for its skyline and fast-paced lifestyle.

✓ My hometown is in Hong Kong, a very well-known international city in Asia that is especially famous for its skyline and fast-paced lifestyle.

The original sentence has comma splice and incorrect clause connection. Use a reduced relative clause 'a very well-known international city in Asia' instead of ', which is ...,' and connect the following idea with 'that' to modify the noun. Also add hyphen in 'well-known' and remove the extra verb 'is'. Suggestion: combine ideas into one smooth relative clause and maintain parallel structure. Grammar problem type ID:26

× I like my hometown, one of the most important business.

✓ I like my hometown; it is one of the most important business centers.

The original fragment 'one of the most important business' is incomplete and lacks a main verb; also 'business' needs a countable noun like 'centers'. Use a full independent clause with a linking verb: 'it is one of the most important business centers.' This fixes sentence structure and noun choice. Grammar problem type ID:26

× I appreciate the visit there as it combines both Eastern and Western influences.

✓ I appreciate visiting there because it combines both Eastern and Western influences.

'Appreciate the visit there' is awkward; English prefers the gerund 'visiting' after 'appreciate' when referring to the action. Also use 'because' for cause. This corrects verb form and connector. Grammar problem type ID:8

× Because of that, I have been exploring different cultures from a young age, what I think is really quite favorable for me, so I like it so much.

✓ Because of that, I have been exposed to different cultures from a young age, which I think has been very beneficial for me, so I like it a lot.

The original mixes clauses awkwardly: 'what I think' is incorrect; use 'which I think' to introduce a relative clause. 'Exploring different cultures from a young age' is possible but 'exposed to different cultures' is more natural. Replace 'favorable' with 'beneficial' and 'so much' with 'a lot' for idiomatic expression. This fixes conjunction/connective and relative clause use. Grammar problem type ID:16

× I lived there for most of my life for about 15 years before moving to Nanaimo for my studying.

✓ I lived there for most of my life, for about 15 years, before moving to Nanaimo to study.

Use infinitive 'to study' rather than 'for my studying.' Add commas to set off the time phrase. This keeps past tense consistent and uses the correct verb form for purpose. Grammar problem type ID:6

× Even though I have moved, I still feel very connected to it.

✓ Even though I have moved, I still feel very connected to my hometown.

Using 'it' is grammatically okay but 'my hometown' is clearer and avoids ambiguous pronoun reference. No tense change needed. Grammar problem type ID:12

× I still miss my places a lot.

✓ I still miss the places there a lot.

'My places' is odd; 'the places there' or 'my favorite places there' is better. Add 'there' to indicate location and use 'the' to specify known places. This corrects quantifier/article and possessive usage. Grammar problem type ID:22

× Absolutely yes, because in Hong Kong they have a variety of entertainment options for you.

✓ Absolutely; Hong Kong has a variety of entertainment options for young people.

Use 'Hong Kong has' rather than 'they have' for correct subject reference and third-person singular agreement. Also match 'for you' to answer the question about young people by saying 'for young people.' This fixes pronoun reference and subject-verb agreement. Grammar problem type ID:12

× They have coffee shops, uh, restaurant, shopping mall and also they have really convenient transportation and moreover, you can, you can travel everywhere is really convenience.

✓ There are coffee shops, restaurants, and shopping malls, and the public transportation is very convenient; moreover, you can travel everywhere easily.

Fix plural forms: 'restaurants' and 'shopping malls.' Use 'There are' for listing places and 'the public transportation is' for a singular noun phrase. Replace 'is really convenience' (wrong part of speech) with 'is very convenient' and 'travel everywhere easily' for correct adverb use. Remove stuttering 'you can, you can' and use connectors correctly. Grammar problem type ID:1