Puzzles— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid filler words like 'uh' and 'um' to make your speech more fluent and natural. Also, structure your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details without redundancy. For example, you can say: "Yes, I did puzzles as a child, but I didn't enjoy them much because I found them boring and tedious."

例: Yes, I did puzzles as a child, but I didn't enjoy them much because I found them boring and tedious.

提案: Avoid repeating phrases and filler words. Start with a clear topic sentence and use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. For example: "Although I rarely do puzzles, I sometimes solve crosswords during airplane trips to pass the time."

例: Although I rarely do puzzles, I sometimes solve crosswords during airplane trips to pass the time.

提案: Try to avoid redundancy and filler words. Use clear comparative structures and linking words. For example: "I prefer word puzzles to number puzzles because I find them more engaging and entertaining, even though I am good at math."

例: I prefer word puzzles to number puzzles because I find them more engaging and entertaining, even though I am good at math.

提案: Reduce filler words and improve sentence flow by using linking words. Provide specific reasons clearly. For example: "Yes, I believe puzzles are important for older people because they keep the mind active and help prevent memory loss."

例: Yes, I believe puzzles are important for older people because they keep the mind active and help prevent memory loss.

× I, I think every child, uh, does puzzles in his or her childhood, But, uh, I didn't like that, uh, much because I thought, uh, it's uh, gets me bored, uh, bored and tedious.

✓ I think every child does puzzles in his or her childhood, but I didn't like that much because I thought it bored me and was tedious.

The phrase 'it's uh, gets me bored' is incorrect because 'gets' is a verb that should not be combined with 'it's' here. The correct expression is 'it bored me' to indicate past feeling. Also, 'bored and tedious' is awkward; 'bored me and was tedious' clarifies the meaning. The sentence also needed proper conjunction use ('but' lowercase) and removal of filler words for clarity.

× Uh, but sometimes when, umm, uh, I'm in on travel and during my trip, uh, I do some puzzles like crossword to, uh, spend some time in airplane.

✓ But sometimes, when I'm traveling during my trip, I do some puzzles like crosswords to spend some time on the airplane.

The phrase 'I'm in on travel' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'traveling' or 'on a trip'. Also, 'in airplane' should be 'on the airplane' because we use 'on' for modes of transport like planes. 'Crossword' should be plural 'crosswords' when referring to puzzles in general.

× I prefer word puzzles and rather than number puzzles because I find them more engaging and entertaining for me.

✓ I prefer word puzzles rather than number puzzles because I find the former more engaging and entertaining.

The original sentence uses 'and rather than' incorrectly; 'rather than' alone suffices for comparison. Also, 'them' is ambiguous; replacing with 'the former' clarifies the reference to word puzzles. The phrase 'for me' is redundant after 'I find'. This improves clarity and correctness.

× Yes, of course. I do think it's a very important for old people to do, uh, some activities like doing puzzles, uh, that, uh, keep their minds, uh, active and uh, it helps them to avoid forgetting, uh, many things in their lives and can be very helpful for them.

✓ Yes, of course. I do think it's very important for old people to do some activities like puzzles that keep their minds active and help them avoid forgetting many things in their lives; this can be very helpful for them.

The phrase 'it's a very important' is incorrect; 'important' is an adjective and does not need 'a'. Also, 'doing puzzles' can be simplified to 'puzzles'. The sentence was wordy and had unnecessary fillers; simplifying improves clarity. 'It helps them to avoid forgetting' is better as 'help them avoid forgetting' to maintain parallel structure.