Names— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific detail about the meaning and perhaps a short example of how people use the name. Use linking words to make it coherent.

例: My name, Manat, means “a wish” in my culture. For example, parents might choose this name hoping the child will fulfill their hopes. Therefore, the name carries a positive, aspirational meaning.

提案: Use a clear topic sentence and correct grammar. State your intention simply, then add one specific reason or example. Avoid unclear phrases like “make them to race.”

例: I would choose names that reflect our cultural heritage to keep my children connected to their roots. For instance, I might pick a grandparent’s name or a traditional name with a meaningful story so they learn about our family history.

提案: Answer directly and use one or two supporting details. Avoid unnecessary fillers like “honestly speaking” and vague phrases like “this stuff.” Use past tense consistently when talking about past events.

例: No, no one in my family has the same name as me, but a friend had the same name. I used to joke with her, saying she copied my name, which we both found funny at the time.

提案: If you lack knowledge, say so briefly then offer a reasonable, specific guess with supporting detail. Avoid hesitations and filler words. Use clear linking words like “however” or “for example.”

例: I’m not an expert on this, but I think naming trends in China have become more modern over time. For example, parents today might choose shorter or internationally friendly names, whereas older generations used traditional names with cultural meanings.

提案: Avoid repeating that you don’t know. Give a concise, plausible answer with one specific detail or example and a linking word to show reasoning.

例: I’m not sure about specifics, but I believe some names are very popular in China. For instance, common names like Wei or Li might appear frequently, so it’s not unusual to meet several children with the same name in one class.

× Yes, my name Manat has a very special and significant meaning which is a wish.

✓ Yes, my name Manat has a very special and significant meaning: it is a wish.

Original sentence is awkwardly worded and lacks clarity. Use a colon and a clear clause to explain the meaning. This improves sentence structure and readability.

× So it is a kind of a wish that people make in order to fulfill any desire or wish.

✓ It refers to a kind of wish that people make to express a desire or hope.

Repetition of 'wish' and redundant phrase 'in order to fulfill any desire or wish' make the sentence awkward. Rephrase to avoid redundancy and improve clarity.

× Where I will name my children as related to my cultural significance or as I want to stay them connected, keep them connected to their roots.

✓ I will name my children in a way that reflects my culture and keeps them connected to their roots.

Sentence begins with 'Where' incorrectly and contains redundant phrasing 'stay them connected, keep them connected'. Remove the incorrect clause starter and use a clear relative clause and correct verb patterns.

× So most probably I will make them to race like the old generation.

✓ So most probably I will raise them like the older generation.

Verb 'make them to race' is incorrect. Likely intended verb is 'raise' (bring up). Also use 'older generation' rather than 'old generation' for comparison. Remove erroneous infinitive structure 'to race'.

× Honestly speaking, no, but one of my friend has the same meaning and the name for sure.

✓ Honestly speaking, no, but one of my friends has the same name and meaning.

Use plural 'friends' for 'one of my friends'. Place 'name and meaning' in logical order and remove 'for sure' which is informal and redundant.

× And at that time I used to tease her with the thing that you had the same name as me, you had copied me and this stuff.

✓ At that time I used to tease her by saying, 'You have the same name as me; you copied me.'

Original mixes tense and informal phrasing. Use 'used to tease her by saying' and present perfect 'have' or simple past 'copied' within reported speech. Remove vague 'this stuff' and use direct or reported speech for clarity.

× Honestly speaking, I don't have much knowledge about this topic but yes I think the names of the community may have changed uh from the time till now as the development is going on and the parents are make are doing more modern.

✓ Honestly, I don't know much about this topic, but I think community names may have changed over time as society develops and parents choose more modern names.

Sentence has tense and grammar problems: 'don't have much knowledge' is better as 'don't know much', 'from the time till now' should be 'over time', and 'the parents are make are doing more modern' is ungrammatical—replace with 'parents choose more modern names'. Clarify and streamline the sentence.

× As I told you, I don't have much knowledge about this topic and for China as well, I think there might be some names which are common and maybe there are several kids in just one room which have the same names.

✓ As I said, I don't know much about this topic, but in China I think some names are common, and there may be several children in the same class who share the same name.

Improve verb choice ('I said' or 'I told you'), use 'don't know' instead of 'don't have much knowledge', replace 'kids in just one room' with 'children in the same class', and adjust verb agreement 'who share the same name'. This corrects awkward phrasing and tense usage.