Jewelry— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and clear by using correct vocabulary and grammar. Avoid redundancy and unclear phrases. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically. For example, start with a clear topic sentence, then explain your reasons or feelings with specific details.

例: Yes, I often wear jewelry as a way to express my personal style. On a daily basis, I like to wear a few pieces from my collection that have sentimental value. For instance, I have some rings that belonged to my family, which I cherish deeply.

提案: Your answer is quite good but you can improve coherence by using linking words and slightly more varied vocabulary. Also, try to avoid repeating similar words closely and add a concluding sentence to complete your answer.

例: I really prefer minimalist jewelry because it complements my personal style. I like pieces that are simple and elegant without too much shine, decorations, or gems. This makes them subtle and versatile for everyday wear. Therefore, I usually choose delicate necklaces or small earrings.

提案: Focus on clarity and correct word choice. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically. Avoid fragmented sentences and unclear phrases. Try to explain your reasons clearly and provide specific examples.

例: Yes, I usually buy jewelry, especially valuable items like gold. I consider this as an investment because I believe their value will increase in the future. For example, I recently bought a gold necklace that I hope will be worth more over time.

提案: Improve your answer by correcting vocabulary and grammar mistakes. Use linking words to make your answer more coherent. Provide clearer examples and avoid unclear phrases. Try to conclude your answer with a summarizing sentence.

例: I think some people wear a piece of jewelry for a long time because it holds sentimental value or is inherited from an important family member. For example, some jewelry is passed down from generation to generation. Additionally, wearing such pieces can be a way to express their personality and memories.

× Yes, I wear jewelries and a daily basis I have these collection of chivalry switch I like to repeat.

✓ Yes, I wear jewelry and on a daily basis I have this collection of chivalry switch I like to repeat.

The word 'jewelries' is incorrect because 'jewelry' is an uncountable noun and does not have a plural form. Also, 'these collection' should be 'this collection' because 'collection' is singular. Use 'on a daily basis' instead of 'and a daily basis' for correct preposition usage.

× Yes, I wear jewelries and a daily basis I have these collection of chivalry switch I like to repeat.

✓ Yes, I wear jewelry and on a daily basis I have this collection of chivalry switch I like to repeat.

The phrase 'these collection' is incorrect because 'collection' is singular and requires the singular article 'this' instead of the plural demonstrative 'these'.

× It is my way of expressing my. Self and fashion as an individual I have.

✓ It is my way of expressing myself and fashion as an individual.

The pronoun 'my. Self' is incorrectly separated and should be combined as 'myself' which is the correct reflexive pronoun here.

× I have. Few sentimental jewelry's as well.

✓ I have a few sentimental pieces of jewelry as well.

'Jewelry's' is incorrect because 'jewelry' is uncountable and does not take a plural form. Use 'pieces of jewelry' to indicate countable items. Also, 'few' should be preceded by 'a' to form 'a few' meaning some.

× Yes, I wear jewelries and a daily basis I have these collection of chivalry switch I like to repeat.

✓ Yes, I wear jewelry and on a daily basis I have this collection of chivalry switch I like to repeat.

The phrase 'and a daily basis' is incorrect. The correct preposition is 'on' as in 'on a daily basis'.

× Yes, specially those that have high values such as cold.

✓ Yes, especially those that have high value such as gold.

'Values' should be singular 'value' when referring to the general worth of something. Also, 'cold' is a typo and should be 'gold'.

× Yes, specially those that have high values such as cold. This is my way of. Investment I think because I believe that in the near future this jewelries would double its price.

✓ Yes, especially those that have high value such as gold. This is my way of investing, I think, because I believe that in the near future this jewelry will double in price.

'Way of investment' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'way of investing'. Also, 'would double its price' should be 'will double in price' to express future certainty. 'Jewelries' is incorrect; use 'jewelry' as uncountable noun.

× I believe that in the near future this jewelries would double its price.

✓ I believe that in the near future this jewelry will double in price.

'Jewelries' is incorrect; 'jewelry' is uncountable and does not have a plural form. Also, 'double its price' should be 'double in price'.

× I believe that in the near future this jewelries would double its price.

✓ I believe that in the near future this jewelry will double in price.

'Would' suggests conditional or hypothetical situations. Since the speaker expresses belief about a future event, 'will' is more appropriate.

× So yes, I have I'm need. To prefer.

✓ So yes, I have a need to prefer.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. It should be restructured to 'I have a need to prefer' or better yet, 'I have a preference'.

× I think some people wear a piece of jewelry for a long time because it holds sentimental vard value, or it comes from an important family member or holds an important memory.

✓ I think some people wear a piece of jewelry for a long time because it holds sentimental value, or it comes from an important family member or holds an important memory.

'Vard' is a typo and should be 'hard' or omitted. The correct phrase is 'sentimental value'.

× For example, Irene passed by on from generation to generation.

✓ For example, it is passed down from generation to generation.

The phrase 'Irene passed by on' is incorrect and unclear. The correct expression is 'passed down from generation to generation' to indicate inheritance.