Jewelry— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to be more concise and clear, avoiding redundancy. Use correct verb tenses and plural forms. Also, organise your ideas logically with linking words.

例: Yes, I often wear jewelry because it makes me feel more confident and complements my outfit. I especially like necklaces, bracelets, and rings, which I enjoy mixing and matching depending on the occasion.

提案: There are several vocabulary and grammar mistakes that affect clarity. Use correct words (e.g., 'simple and elegant jewelry' instead of 'illegal jury') and correct spelling ('silver'). Also, provide clear examples and use linking words to connect ideas.

例: I prefer simple and elegant jewelry, such as silver or gold necklaces. For example, I often choose a delicate locket because it adds a subtle touch of sophistication without being too flashy.

提案: Your answer is too long and contains grammatical errors. Try to organise your answer with clear sentences and correct grammar. Avoid redundancy and use linking words to improve coherence.

例: Yes, I usually buy jewelry on weekends because I have more free time then. My mother and I often go to the supermarket to shop for jewelry, which makes me very happy and helps me relax after a busy week.

提案: Your answer has several grammar and vocabulary mistakes that affect understanding. Use correct verb forms and clearer expressions. Also, provide specific reasons with linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: I think some people wear a piece of jewelry for a long time because it suits them well and makes them look fashionable. Additionally, the jewelry might be precious or have sentimental value, so they prefer to keep it for a long time.

× Definitely yes, I frequently gradually because I think it made me more confident and can complement my outfit.

✓ Definitely yes, I frequently wear jewelry because I think it makes me more confident and can complement my outfit.

The original sentence lacks the main verb 'wear' after 'frequently' and uses past tense 'made' instead of present tense 'makes' to match the present context. The adverb 'gradually' is misplaced and unnecessary here.

× I hope I have a lot of collections of jewelry, especially necklace, bracelets and rings which I like to mix and match depending on the occasion.

✓ I hope I have a large collection of jewelry, especially necklaces, bracelets and rings which I like to mix and match depending on the occasion.

'Collections' should be singular 'collection' when referring to a group of items owned. 'Necklace' should be plural 'necklaces' to match the plural 'bracelets and rings'.

× In my opinion, the types of jewelry I like the most is the simple and illegal jury, including sliver or gold necklace.

✓ In my opinion, the types of jewelry I like the most are simple and elegant pieces, including silver or gold necklaces.

The subject 'types' is plural, so the verb should be 'are' not 'is'. 'Illegal jury' is incorrect; likely intended 'elegant jewelry'. 'Sliver' is a misspelling of 'silver'. 'Necklace' should be plural 'necklaces'.

× For example, I often choose a delicate lever change because it's as a subtle touch of sophistication without being too flashy.

✓ For example, I often choose a delicate locket because it adds a subtle touch of sophistication without being too flashy.

'Lever change' is incorrect; likely intended 'locket'. 'It's as a subtle touch' is ungrammatical; corrected to 'it adds a subtle touch' for clarity and correctness.

× Actually yes I always buy jewelry especially on the weekend because the weekends I have more leisure time than I and my mother often go to supermarket to buy a jewelry and it's make me more over the moon and unwind after a long time.

✓ Actually, yes, I always buy jewelry, especially on weekends, because I have more leisure time then. My mother and I often go to the supermarket to buy jewelry, and it makes me over the moon and helps me unwind after a long time.

The original sentence is a run-on with poor structure. 'Than I and my mother' is incorrect; corrected to 'My mother and I'. 'A jewelry' is incorrect; 'jewelry' is uncountable and does not take 'a'. 'It's make me' should be 'it makes me'. Added commas and split into clearer sentences.

× In my opinion, the main reason that some people were a piece of jewelry for a long term because they thinks it's very suitable and it's have them more fashionable and another reasons is that it's a precious item then they want to waste a long time.

✓ In my opinion, the main reason that some people wear a piece of jewelry for a long time is because they think it's very suitable and it makes them more fashionable. Another reason is that it's a precious item, so they want to keep it for a long time.

'Were' should be present tense 'wear' to match the context. 'Thinks' should be 'think' to agree with plural 'people'. 'It's have them' is incorrect; corrected to 'it makes them'. 'Waste a long time' is incorrect; corrected to 'keep it for a long time'. Sentence split for clarity.