Jewelry— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat clear but can be improved by making it more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy and incomplete sentences. Try to directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence and support it with relevant details using linking words.

例: No, I don't wear jewelry very often because I mostly stay at home. However, when I go outside, I sometimes wear simple pieces to complement my outfit.

提案: Your answer shows enthusiasm but can be improved by using more natural expressions and better linking words. Also, avoid repetition and be specific about your preferences.

例: I really like wearing earrings and necklaces, although they are artificial at the moment. I have an ear piercing and plan to get a nose piercing soon. In the future, I hope to buy some diamond jewelry.

提案: Your answer is understandable but contains some grammatical errors and unnatural phrases. Try to use simpler and clearer sentences, and explain your ideas logically with linking words.

例: I don't buy jewelry for myself often because I'm not very interested in it. However, I usually buy jewelry for my mother and sister since they love it and it makes them happy.

提案: Your answer is good but can be improved by making it more concise and natural. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and avoid redundancy.

例: Some people wear jewelry for a long time because it was given to them by someone special. Wearing it helps them remember that person every day.

× The main purpose of me wearing jewelry is when I step outside of my house and which is very rare.

✓ The main purpose of me wearing jewelry is when I step outside of my house, which is very rare.

The conjunction 'and' is incorrectly used before 'which'. The correct structure is to use a comma before 'which' to introduce a non-restrictive relative clause. This improves sentence clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I usually stay at my home all the time because I am currently continuing my.

✓ I usually stay at my home all the time because I am currently continuing my studies.

The sentence is incomplete and lacks an object after 'continuing my'. Adding 'studies' completes the thought and corrects the sentence structure.

× I'm so much obsessed about jewelry that I have an ear piercing done and I'm planning on getting a nose piercing as well.

✓ I'm so obsessed with jewelry that I have an ear piercing done and I'm planning to get a nose piercing as well.

The correct preposition with 'obsessed' is 'with', not 'about'. Also, 'planning on getting' can be simplified to 'planning to get' for better clarity and correctness.

× But in my future I would like to buy a diamond jewelry.

✓ But in my future, I would like to buy diamond jewelry.

The phrase 'a diamond jewelry' is incorrect because 'jewelry' is an uncountable noun and does not take the indefinite article 'a'. Also, a comma after 'future' improves readability.

× Having less interest in wearing jewelry, I usually go to the market in order to purchase jewelry for my mother and my sister because they are lover of jewelry and it makes them enlightened.

✓ Having less interest in wearing jewelry, I usually go to the market to purchase jewelry for my mother and my sister because they are lovers of jewelry and it makes them feel happy.

The word 'lover' should be plural 'lovers' to agree with 'my mother and my sister'. Also, 'enlightened' is not appropriate here; 'feel happy' or 'feel pleased' is better to express the intended meaning.

× The reason behind people wearing a piece of jewellery for a long time could possibly be that some precious person could have given them the particular jewelry so as a memory they could keep it and wear it and remember them everyday.

✓ The reason behind people wearing a piece of jewellery for a long time could possibly be that some precious person gave them that particular jewelry so, as a memory, they could keep it, wear it, and remember them every day.

The phrase 'the particular jewelry' is better replaced with 'that particular jewelry' for specificity. Also, commas are added for clarity, and 'everyday' (adjective) is corrected to 'every day' (adverbial phrase). The sentence is restructured slightly for better flow.