Jewelry— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear but contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'jewelries' should be 'jewelry' (uncountable noun), and 'traser' seems to be a typo for 'treasure'. Also, the sentence 'I wear it every day from past 5-6 years' should be corrected to 'I have been wearing it every day for the past 5-6 years'. Try to use correct verb tenses and singular/plural forms to make your answer more natural and effective.

例: Actually, I'm not very fond of wearing jewelry, but I have a special silver bracelet with a precious gemstone that my father gave me on my 10th birthday. I treasure it because it reminds me of my childhood. I have been wearing it every day for the past 5-6 years.

提案: Your answer repeats some information and has grammatical mistakes. 'Jewelries' should be 'jewelry'. Also, 'it enhances' should be 'they enhance' because bracelets and chains are plural. The phrase 'I have wore a chain golden chain' is incorrect; it should be 'I wore a golden chain'. Try to avoid redundancy and use correct verb forms to improve clarity and naturalness.

例: As I mentioned earlier, I'm not very fond of jewelry, but I like bracelets and chains because they enhance my personality. For example, at my cousin's wedding last week, I wore a golden chain that suited me very well.

提案: There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrases here. Use 'jewelry' instead of 'jewelries'. The sentence 'my sister has a birthday last week' should be 'my sister's birthday was last week'. Also, 'which consists of very precious diamond' should be 'which had very precious diamonds'. The phrase 'I have buy a jewelry' should be 'I bought jewelry'. Try to use past tense correctly and avoid awkward phrasing for better clarity.

例: Actually, I don't like to shop for jewelry for myself, but I usually buy jewelry for others. For example, my sister's birthday was last week, and I gifted her a bracelet and a silver chain that had very precious diamonds. That was the first time I bought jewelry for someone.

提案: Your answer conveys the idea but has grammatical errors and awkward expressions. For example, 'if someone give to them' should be 'if someone gives it to them'. The phrase 'a bond between my father which is emotionally connected towards me' is unclear; better to say 'a bond between my father and me that is emotionally significant'. Use clearer and grammatically correct sentences to improve your answer.

例: I think jewelry plays an important role in people's lives because it is often a meaningful gift from someone special. For example, my father gifted me a golden chain, which reminds me of my childhood and the strong emotional bond between my father and me.

× Actually, I'm not very fond of wearing jewelries, but I do have a special bracelet that my father gave me on my 10th birthday.

✓ Actually, I'm not very fond of wearing jewelry, but I do have a special bracelet that my father gave me on my 10th birthday.

The word 'jewelry' is an uncountable noun and does not have a plural form. Using 'jewelries' is incorrect. Use 'jewelry' to refer to ornaments collectively.

× It was a silver bracelet with the very precious gemstone and I really traser it because it reminds me of childhood.

✓ It was a silver bracelet with a very precious gemstone and I really treasure it because it reminds me of childhood.

The phrase 'the very precious gemstone' is incorrect because 'precious' is a descriptive adjective and 'very' is an intensifier; 'the' is unnecessary here. Also, 'traser' is a spelling mistake; the correct word is 'treasure'. The corrected sentence uses 'a very precious gemstone' and 'treasure' properly.

× It was quite special and I wear it every day from past 5-6 years.

✓ It was quite special and I have worn it every day for the past 5-6 years.

The phrase 'I wear it every day from past 5-6 years' is incorrect because the action started in the past and continues to the present, so present perfect tense 'have worn' is appropriate. Also, 'from past' should be 'for the past' to indicate duration.

× Actually, as I said earlier, I'm not very fond of jewelries but I like bracelets and chains because it enhances my personality.

✓ Actually, as I said earlier, I'm not very fond of jewelry but I like bracelets and chains because they enhance my personality.

Again, 'jewelries' is incorrect; 'jewelry' is uncountable. Also, 'it enhances' is incorrect because the subject is plural ('bracelets and chains'), so the verb should be 'they enhance'.

× For example, I had my cousin wedding last week and I have wore a chain golden chain which enhances my personality and suits me very well.

✓ For example, I had my cousin's wedding last week and I wore a golden chain which enhances my personality and suits me very well.

The phrase 'I have wore' is incorrect; the correct past tense form is 'I wore'. Also, 'my cousin wedding' should be 'my cousin's wedding' to show possession. The adjective order is corrected to 'golden chain'.

× Actually I don't like to shop jewelries for myself but I usually buy jewelries for someone else.

✓ Actually, I don't like to shop for jewelry for myself but I usually buy jewelry for someone else.

'Jewelries' is incorrect; 'jewelry' is uncountable and should be used without plural form. Also, 'shop jewelries' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'shop for jewelry'.

× For example, my sister has a birthday last week and I gifted her a bracelet and a silver chain which consists of very precious diamond and that is the first time I have buy a jewelry for someone.

✓ For example, my sister had a birthday last week and I gifted her a bracelet and a silver chain which consists of very precious diamonds and that was the first time I bought jewelry for someone.

'Has a birthday last week' is incorrect; past simple 'had' is correct. 'I have buy' is incorrect; past simple 'bought' is correct. 'A jewelry' is incorrect because 'jewelry' is uncountable and does not take 'a'. Also, 'diamond' should be plural 'diamonds' to match 'very precious'.

× I think jewelry plays a very important role in any individual's life because it is treated as a form of gesture if someone give to them.

✓ I think jewelry plays a very important role in any individual's life because it is treated as a form of gesture if someone gives it to them.

The verb 'give' should be in third person singular form 'gives' to agree with 'someone'. Also, 'gives to them' is incomplete; it should be 'gives it to them' to specify the object.

× For example, my father gifted me a golden chain and it reminds me of my childhood and a bond between my father which is emotionally connected towards me.

✓ For example, my father gifted me a golden chain and it reminds me of my childhood and the bond between my father and me which is emotionally connected to me.

The phrase 'a bond between my father' is incomplete; it should be 'the bond between my father and me'. Also, 'connected towards me' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'connected to me'.