Jewelry— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and contains minor grammatical errors. Try to make your response more concise and natural by avoiding redundancy and correcting sentence structure. For example, instead of repeating 'born in an Asian family' twice, mention it once and focus on your personal habits.

例: I often wear jewelry during family occasions because, coming from an Asian background, it's a common tradition. Additionally, I like to pair jewelry with my western outfits to enhance my look.

提案: Your answer has some unclear phrases and grammatical mistakes. Try to use clearer vocabulary and correct grammar. Also, avoid filler words like 'uh' and 'umm'. Be specific about the types of jewelry you like and why.

例: Because of my brown skin tone, gold jewelry doesn't suit me well, so I prefer silver pieces. Whether it's chunky or traditional designs, I usually choose silver jewelry that complements my style.

提案: Your answer repeats ideas and has some grammatical errors. Try to be more concise and avoid repeating the same points. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: Jewelry plays a significant role in my Asian family's cultural occasions, as it symbolizes respect and tradition. Therefore, I often buy jewelry to participate in these events appropriately.

提案: Your answer conveys a good idea but can be improved by using more natural phrasing and avoiding filler words. Also, try to combine sentences for better flow using linking words.

例: People often wear jewelry for a long time because it is gifted by loved ones. Wearing such pieces helps them remember those special relationships and feel connected to their loved ones.

× Since I'm born in in an Asian family, we prefer a lot of jewellery, so I do wear jewellery whenever there is an occasion in our house.

✓ Since I was born in an Asian family, we prefer a lot of jewellery, so I do wear jewellery whenever there is an occasion in our house.

The phrase 'I'm born' is incorrect because 'born' is a past event and requires the past tense 'was born'. 'I'm born' incorrectly uses present tense with a past participle. Use 'I was born' to indicate the past event of birth.

× Since I'm born in a brown family, I have a brown skin tone and the gold jewellery tone suits at me at all.

✓ Since I was born in a brown family, I have a brown skin tone and the gold jewellery tone does not suit me at all.

Again, 'I'm born' should be 'I was born' to correctly express a past event. Also, 'suits at me at all' is incorrect; the preposition 'at' is unnecessary and 'does not suit me at all' is the correct form.

× the gold jewellery tone suits at me at all.

✓ the gold jewellery tone does not suit me at all.

The preposition 'at' is incorrectly used after 'suits'. The verb 'suit' is directly followed by the object without a preposition. Also, 'at all' is used to emphasize negation, so 'does not suit me at all' is correct.

× So I prefer a silver jewellery, uh, even if it's a chunky jewelleries or a umm, traditional jewelries, I prefer uh, cyber jewelry.

✓ So I prefer silver jewellery, uh, even if it's chunky jewellery or traditional jewellery, I prefer uh, cyber jewellery.

'Jewellery' is an uncountable noun and should not be preceded by 'a' or pluralized as 'jewelleries'. Use 'silver jewellery' without 'a' and keep 'jewellery' singular.

× even if it's a chunky jewelleries or a umm, traditional jewelries, I prefer uh, cyber jewelry.

✓ even if it's chunky jewellery or traditional jewellery, I prefer uh, cyber jewellery.

Same as above, 'jewellery' is uncountable and should not be pluralized or preceded by 'a'. Remove 'a' and use singular form.

× the gold jewellery tone suits at me at all.

✓ the gold jewellery tone does not suit me at all.

The preposition 'at' is incorrectly used after 'suits'. The verb 'suit' is directly followed by the object without a preposition. Also, 'at all' is used to emphasize negation, so 'does not suit me at all' is correct.

× So jewellery is very important in our family in every, uh, cultural occasions because everyone wears A jewellery even to show their respect to others or to show their cultures to others.

✓ So jewellery is very important in our family in every, uh, cultural occasion because everyone wears jewellery even to show their respect to others or to show their culture to others.

'A jewellery' is incorrect because 'jewellery' is uncountable and should not have an article 'a'. Also, 'occasions' should be singular 'occasion' to match 'every'. 'Cultures' should be singular 'culture' to refer generally.

× So jewellery is very important in our family in every, uh, cultural occasions because everyone wears A jewellery even to show their respect to others or to show their cultures to others.

✓ So jewellery is very important in our family in every, uh, cultural occasion because everyone wears jewellery even to show their respect to others or to show their culture to others.

'Every' is followed by a singular noun, so 'occasions' should be 'occasion'. Also, 'cultures' should be singular 'culture' to refer generally.

× So I think people wear the jewelry a lot of time.

✓ So I think people wear the jewelry for a long time.

'A lot of time' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'for a long time' to express duration. Also, 'jewelry' is uncountable and does not need 'the' unless specific.