Jewelry— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 답변이 자연스럽지 않고 문법적 오류가 있습니다. 'jewelries' 대신 'jewelry'를 사용하고, 중복된 표현('every day')을 피하며, 문장을 명확하게 구성하세요. 또한, 'Julie'는 'jewelry'로 수정해야 합니다.

例: Yes, I usually wear jewelry every day because I think it is one of the best fashion items, so I often wear rings.

提案: 문법 오류와 어색한 표현이 있습니다. 'like wear' 대신 'like to wear'를 사용하고, 문장을 분리하여 명확하게 표현하세요. 또한, 연결어를 사용해 문장 간 논리적 흐름을 개선하세요.

例: I really like to wear various kinds of rings, including those made of gold, silver, and beads. Also, I usually wear a necklace because it was a gift from my mom.

提案: 중복된 이유 설명과 불필요한 'uh'가 있습니다. 문장을 간결하게 하고, 이유를 명확히 표현하세요. 또한, 'book and IELTS book' 대신 'books, especially IELTS books'로 표현하는 것이 자연스럽습니다.

例: I used to buy jewelry when I was young, but nowadays I don't because I spend most of my money on books, especially IELTS books.

提案: 불필요한 'umm'과 'uh'를 제거하고, 문법을 수정하세요. 'their own fashions' 대신 'part of their style'로 표현하며, 문장을 더 명확하고 자연스럽게 만드세요.

例: I think some people wear jewelry for a long time because it is part of their style and also because the jewelry is very valuable to them.

× Yes, I usually wear jewelries every day.

✓ Yes, I usually wear jewelry every day.

'Jewelry' is an uncountable noun and does not have a plural form. Using 'jewelries' is incorrect. Use 'jewelry' to refer to items collectively.

× I really like wear various kind of rings so I have a lot of rings it made gold, silver and some rings is made by beads and also I usually wear necklace because it's my mom's gift.

✓ I really like to wear various kinds of rings, so I have a lot of rings made of gold, silver, and some rings made of beads. Also, I usually wear a necklace because it's my mom's gift.

'Kind' should be pluralized to 'kinds' when referring to multiple types. 'Rings it made gold, silver' is incorrect; it should be 'rings made of gold, silver'. 'Some rings is' should be 'some rings are'. 'Wear necklace' needs an article 'a necklace' because 'necklace' is a countable noun.

× I really like wear various kind of rings so I have a lot of rings it made gold, silver and some rings is made by beads and also I usually wear necklace because it's my mom's gift.

✓ I really like to wear various kinds of rings, so I have a lot of rings made of gold, silver, and some rings made of beads. Also, I usually wear a necklace because it's my mom's gift.

After 'like', the verb should be in the infinitive form 'to wear' or the gerund 'wearing'. Here, 'like to wear' is appropriate.

× some rings is made by beads

✓ some rings are made of beads

'Rings' is plural, so the verb should be 'are' not 'is'. Also, 'made by beads' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'made of beads'.

× some rings is made by beads

✓ some rings are made of beads

'Made by' is used to indicate the agent (who made it), but here beads are the material, so 'made of' is correct.

× I usually wear necklace because it's my mom's gift.

✓ I usually wear a necklace because it's my mom's gift.

'Necklace' is a countable noun and requires an article 'a' when singular.

× When I was young, yes.

✓ When I was young, yes, I did.

The answer is incomplete; adding 'I did' clarifies the past action.

× I use a lot of money to buy my book and IELTS book.

✓ I spend a lot of money on buying my books and IELTS books.

'Use money to buy' is less natural; 'spend money on' is the correct collocation. Also, 'book' should be plural if referring to multiple books.

× my book and IELTS book

✓ my books and IELTS books

If referring to multiple books, the plural form 'books' should be used.

× some people wearing jewellery.

✓ some people wear jewellery.

After 'some people', the verb should be in base form 'wear', not the present participle 'wearing'.

× it's really valuable things for them too.

✓ they are really valuable things for them too.

'Things' is plural, so the verb should be 'are' instead of 'is' (it's). Also, 'it's' refers to singular.