Jewelry— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to avoid redundancy and improve sentence clarity. For example, instead of repeating 'I do have' and 'I don't usually', use concise expressions. Also, clarify why wearing jewelry is dangerous to make your answer more informative and natural.

例: I don't often wear jewelry; I usually reserve it for special occasions like family gatherings, church services, or celebrations in the Philippines. I tend to avoid wearing it regularly because it can be risky, such as the chance of losing valuable items or attracting unwanted attention.

提案: Focus on sentence structure and linking ideas smoothly. Avoid vague phrases like 'stunning and amazing' by choosing more precise adjectives. Also, use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

例: I prefer silver and gold jewelry because they are more affordable than diamonds and look elegant. For instance, silver or gold pieces really stand out when paired with black shirts, making them my go-to accessories.

提案: Improve grammar and sentence completion. Use linking words to connect your ideas clearly. Also, avoid ending sentences abruptly and ensure your points are fully expressed.

例: I don't usually buy jewelry because they are expensive, and I have other priorities. For example, I prefer to invest in a house or a car since I need shelter and transportation more than accessories, even though jewelry can be considered assets.

提案: Clarify your ideas and correct grammar mistakes. Use linking words to make your answer coherent. Avoid vague or incorrect phrases like 'buried it' and 'extravagant peace'. Instead, explain clearly why people wear jewelry for a long time.

例: Some people wear jewelry for a long time to display their wealth and status. Historically, members of the upper class often wore such decorations to signify their position in society.

× I don't usually buy jewelry because they are pricey and I have priorities in life.

✓ I don't usually buy jewelry because it is pricey and I have priorities in life.

The pronoun 'they' is incorrectly used to refer to 'jewelry', which is an uncountable noun and should be referred to with the singular pronoun 'it'.

× For example, I would like to buy a house and a car instead of jewelries even though these are assets, but I think I would need more shelter or transportation rather than for the.

✓ For example, I would like to buy a house and a car instead of jewelry even though these are assets, but I think I would need more shelter or transportation rather than that.

The word 'jewelries' is incorrect because 'jewelry' is an uncountable noun and does not have a plural form. Also, the sentence ends abruptly with 'rather than for the', which is incomplete and unclear; it is corrected to 'rather than that' to complete the thought.