Jewelry— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains redundancy. Try to respond directly with a clear topic sentence, avoid repeating the question, and use linking words to organize your ideas logically. Also, be careful with word choice and grammar, for example, 'jewelry' is uncountable, so avoid plural forms like 'jewelries'.

例: No, I don't often wear jewelry because I find it too flashy for my style. Instead, I prefer to enhance my outfits with clothes, bags, or shoes, which I think suit me better.

提案: Your answer lacks clarity and contains some confusing phrases. Try to give a clear topic sentence, avoid hesitation sounds, and use precise vocabulary. Also, avoid exaggerations that may sound unrealistic. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: Although I am not very interested in jewelry, if I had to choose, I would prefer pieces with precious stones, like diamonds or sapphires, because they look elegant and valuable. However, I think owning such expensive accessories is beyond my current means.

提案: Your answer is somewhat disorganized and contains grammatical errors. Try to structure your response with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Use correct grammar and avoid incomplete sentences. Also, use linking words to make your answer coherent.

例: I have never bought jewelry for myself or as a gift. However, in the future, when I am financially comfortable, I would like to buy luxurious jewelry with sparkling gems as gifts for my mother and grandmother.

提案: Your answer addresses the question well but has some grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing. Try to use complete sentences and linking words to improve coherence. Also, be careful with word choice, for example, 'jury' should be 'jewelry'.

例: I believe people wear jewelry for a long time mainly because of its sentimental value. For instance, my aunt still wears a bracelet that her father gave her when she was five, which holds many meaningful memories for her.

× Do I buy or wear jewelries?

✓ Do I buy or wear jewelry?

The word 'jewelry' is an uncountable noun and does not have a plural form 'jewelries'. Use 'jewelry' for both singular and plural contexts.

× I consider jewelry is too flashy and showy for my own garments.

✓ I consider jewelry to be too flashy and showy for my own garments.

The verb 'consider' is followed by 'to be' when linking to an adjective phrase. Omitting 'to be' is incorrect here.

× Usually when I want to adore my outfits, I always focus on other items such as my clothes, my bags, or my shoes rather than contribute concentrating on shoes.

✓ Usually when I want to adorn my outfits, I always focus on other items such as my clothes, my bags, or my shoes rather than concentrating on jewelry.

The phrase 'contribute concentrating on shoes' is incorrect and unclear. The correct structure is 'rather than concentrating on jewelry' to contrast focus areas. Also, 'adore' should be 'adorn' meaning to decorate.

× I ultimately go for those jewelries that cost up to 1 million or $2,000,000.

✓ I ultimately go for those pieces of jewelry that cost up to 1 million or $2,000,000.

Again, 'jewelry' is uncountable; use 'pieces of jewelry' to indicate countable items.

× the ones that have a lot of stones around it, the precious stones.

✓ the ones that have a lot of stones on them, the precious stones.

The preposition 'around' is incorrect here; 'on' is appropriate to describe stones set on jewelry. Also, 'it' should be 'them' to agree with plural 'ones'.

× I have never bought jewelry for my own self before, neither buying as a gift to give other.

✓ I have never bought jewelry for myself before, nor have I bought it as a gift for others.

'My own self' is redundant; 'myself' is correct reflexive pronoun. 'Neither buying as a gift to give other' is ungrammatical; use 'nor have I bought it as a gift for others'.

× For my mother I mean, and my mother no grandmother for all the women that.

✓ I mean for my mother, and also for my grandmother and all the women in my family.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. The correction provides a clear and grammatically correct structure.

× Why do you think some people wear a piece of jewelry for a long time?

✓ Why do you think some people wear pieces of jewelry for a long time?

'A piece of jewelry' is singular; since 'some people' is plural, 'pieces of jewelry' is more appropriate to match plural subject.

× Usually may be a jury is given by someone else.

✓ Usually, maybe a piece of jewelry is given by someone else.

'Jury' is a misspelling of 'jewelry'. Also, 'maybe' should be one word, and 'a piece of jewelry' is the correct phrase.

× Have a lot of memory, bring a lot of meaningful memories between two parties.

✓ It has a lot of memories and brings many meaningful memories between two parties.

'Memory' should be plural 'memories' to match 'a lot of'. Also, the sentence needs a subject and verb agreement; 'It has' and 'brings' are correct.

× For example, one of my aunt, she's still uses the her bracelets that her father gave her when she was 5.

✓ For example, one of my aunts, she still uses the bracelets that her father gave her when she was 5.

'One of my aunt' should be 'one of my aunts' (plural). 'She's still uses' is incorrect; use 'she still uses'. 'The her bracelets' is redundant; use 'the bracelets'.