Geography— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and organize your answer: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and filler words (umm, I, I). Use correct grammar for phrases like “how animals survive” and “how trees grow.”

例: I enjoy geography because it helps me understand how ecosystems work. For example, I am fascinated by how animals survive in different habitats and how trees grow in the jungle, so I study geography to protect local nature.

提案: Give a direct answer, then support it with a clear reason and a concise example. Use proper verb forms and vocabulary (e.g., “understand how ecosystems work,” “protect endangered species,” “reduce climate change”). Link ideas with words like “for example” or “as a result.”

例: Yes, geography is very useful because it helps us understand ecosystems. For example, by studying habitats we can protect endangered species and plan measures to reduce pollution and limit climate change.

提案: Answer directly and correct past-tense errors (learn -> learned). Provide one or two specific details about what you learned and avoid repetition. Use linking words like “for example” to clarify.

例: Yes, I learned geography in high school. For example, I studied how human activity affects wildlife and climate change, so I gained basic knowledge about local habitats and conservation issues.

提案: Give a clear, compact response: state your intention, then give one specific reason. Fix conditional and tense errors ("if I had a chance") and reduce fillers. Use a linking phrase like “because” to explain.

例: Yes, I would love to be a geography teacher if I had the chance because I am a nature lover and want to teach students about ecosystems so they can make better environmental decisions.

提案: Answer directly and give a specific plan or reason. Use correct nouns and phrases (e.g., “ecosystems,” “rare animals,” “protect them”). Avoid vague phrases and fillers. Use linking words like “also” or “for example.”

例: Yes, absolutely. If I visit other countries I would study their ecosystems and learn which rare animals live there so I can understand global conservation challenges and how to protect those species.

× Well, I really enjoy learning about geography because I find it really, I'm really fascinated how to solve how I knew how our animals survive and also how tree growing actually in the jungle.

✓ Well, I really enjoy learning about geography because I am really fascinated by how animals survive and how trees grow in the jungle.

The original sentence misuses pronouns and reflexive references ('how I knew how our animals survive') and has unclear subjects. Replace awkward pronoun phrases with clear subjects (animals, trees) and correct verb forms ('grow'). Use 'fascinated by' rather than 'fascinated how' to match English collocation. Suggested improvement: break complex ideas into simpler clauses and keep subject references explicit.

× Uh, as the, umm, natural lover, I need to, I, I need, I feel like I need to know more about it better and, umm, reserve the nature around me really important.

✓ As a nature lover, I feel I need to learn more about it and preserve the natural environment around me because it is really important.

Incorrect adjective/noun choice ('natural lover' should be 'nature lover') and awkward adverbial placement ('know more about it better'). 'Reserve the nature' is wrong verb collocation; use 'preserve the natural environment.' Also clarify reason with 'because it is really important.' Suggested improvement: use standard collocations (nature lover, preserve the environment) and avoid redundant phrases like 'need... need'.

× Well, geography is really important. I believe it happened. Understand how the ecosystem work better and umm, for instance, we need to know how the wild animal survive.

✓ Geography is really important because it helps us understand how ecosystems work better. For instance, we need to know how wild animals survive.

Sentence fragments and poor sentence structure: 'I believe it happened' is irrelevant and incorrect; 'Understand how the ecosystem work better' is a fragment and has subject-verb agreement issues. Combine into a clear sentence with a subject ('it helps us') and correct agreement ('ecosystems work'). Suggested improvement: form complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and ensure plural/singular agreement.

× And from there we will resent the extension from rare, uh, animal, high risk animal and uh, also reduce the climate change and air pollution.

✓ From there we can prevent the extinction of rare and endangered animals and also help reduce climate change and air pollution.

Many incorrect word choices: 'resent the extension' should be 'prevent the extinction'; 'high risk animal' should be 'endangered' or 'at-risk animals.' 'Reduce the climate change' should be 'help reduce climate change.' Use appropriate verbs ('prevent') and nouns ('extinction, endangered'). Suggested improvement: learn correct collocations (prevent extinction, endangered species) and use 'help' with large issues like climate change.

× Yes, when I was doing high school student I Lear I learn about the geography in classes and I really fascinated by how the war animals survive in the jungle and was at the uh effects human activity affect the wild animal and climate change.

✓ Yes, when I was a high school student I learned about geography in class, and I was really fascinated by how wild animals survive in the jungle and by the effects of human activity on wildlife and climate change.

Tense and form errors: 'I Lear I learn' should be past tense 'I learned.' Article and noun forms: 'high school student' needs 'a'; 'in classes' better as 'in class.' 'I really fascinated' needs auxiliary 'was fascinated.' Also 'effects human activity affect' is ungrammatical; use 'the effects of human activity on wildlife.' Suggested improvement: use past tense for past education and include necessary auxiliary verbs.

× So I do have a basic uh knowledge about the local habitats and.

✓ So I do have basic knowledge about the local habitats.

Sentence ends abruptly with 'and.' Remove the trailing conjunction and unnecessary filler 'uh.' Suggested improvement: complete the thought or end the sentence cleanly.

× Yes, if I would love to become a geography teacher if I have have had a chance because I thought nature lover and I understand umm, the umm, ecosystem and the umm, geography is really extremely important to everyone of us and umm, I wanna pass down my knowledge so that they understand and they can make the better choice for their environments and.

✓ Yes, I would love to become a geography teacher if I had the chance because I am a nature lover, I understand ecosystems, and geography is extremely important to all of us. I want to pass down my knowledge so that people understand and can make better choices for their environments.

Incorrect conditional/modal use: 'if I would love' is wrong; use 'I would love' and conditional 'if I had the chance.' Repeated fillers and tense errors ('I thought nature lover' -> 'I am a nature lover'). 'Everyone of us' should be 'all of us' and 'wanna' is informal; use 'want to.' Also remove trailing conjunction. Suggested improvement: use correct conditional forms (would + base verb) and 'if I had' for unreal present conditions.

× Oh yes, absolutely. If I have a chance to, uh, visit the other country, I would love to learn more about their econosy uh, system and umm, because I understand all the what rare animals are umm, living around the world and they, it's important to uh, keep them away from in this in, in since then and umm.

✓ Oh yes, absolutely. If I have a chance to visit another country, I would love to learn more about their ecosystem because I want to understand which rare animals live around the world, and it is important to protect them.

Tense and article errors: 'visit the other country' should be 'visit another country.' 'Econosy system' should be 'ecosystem.' The clause describing animals is ungrammatical; replace with 'which rare animals live around the world.' 'Keep them away from in this in' is unclear; use 'protect them.' Suggested improvement: use 'if I have a chance' for real possibility, 'would love' for polite desire, and clear phrasing for conservation goals.