Geography— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise, fix grammar (tenses, agreement), use a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Avoid repetition and filler words.

例: I enjoy studying geography because it explains how physical processes and human activity shape our world. For example, I learned about climate systems and pollution in secondary school, which helped me understand global problems like climate change and why countries must cooperate to solve them.

提案: Correct grammar and word choice, use a clear reason followed by a concrete example and a concluding remark. Use linking words (for example, therefore) and avoid incorrect words like 'tortures'.

例: Yes, I think geography is very useful because it raises our environmental awareness. For example, studying environmental geography taught me about air and water pollution and climate change; therefore, I now understand how individual actions and policies can help reduce these problems.

提案: Organize answer: give a direct topic sentence, then two specific examples. Correct vocabulary (e.g., 'algal bloom'), grammar and sentence variety. Avoid vague phrases like 'the pollution set we caused to them'.

例: Yes, I studied geography in secondary school and I enjoyed it. First we learned about the Earth's structure and plate tectonics, and later we studied human impacts such as air pollution and algal blooms in nearby farms, which showed me how farming practices affect water quality.

提案: Give a clear direct answer (yes/no) then two concise reasons with correct grammar and linking words. Avoid repetition and finish the sentence. Use natural expressions (e.g., 'I'm not patient with children').

例: No, I don't want to be a geography teacher. First, although I find the subject interesting, it covers many technical topics that I don't enjoy teaching, and second, I don't think I have the patience needed to manage young students.

提案: Provide a focused topic sentence, use correct grammar and clearer examples. Use linking words to explain why and what specifically you want to learn. Replace vague phrases with precise vocabulary.

例: Yes, I would like to learn more about the geography of other countries, especially remote places like Alaska. For example, I am curious about its glacial landscapes, how permafrost affects local ecosystems, and the risk of flooding as glaciers melt.

× Personally, I think it's very interesting to learn about geography because I learn it when I was in my secondary school.

✓ Personally, I think it's very interesting to learn about geography because I learned it when I was in secondary school.

The sentence mixes present tense ('I learn') with past time reference ('when I was in my secondary school'). Use past tense 'learned' to match the past time frame. Also remove the unnecessary article before 'secondary school' to sound natural. Suggestion: keep time references consistent by matching verb tense to the time expression.

× I learn about the physical geography, like the weather and the climate, and also the environmental geography, like the climate changes and also pollution.

✓ I learned about physical geography, like weather and climate, and also environmental geography, like climate change and pollution.

The clause uses present tense 'I learn' but clearly refers to past study; use past tense 'learned'. Also use uncountable nouns without articles ('weather', 'climate') and the fixed term 'climate change' (singular, uncountable). Suggestion: use correct noun forms and match tense to context.

× So I think this issue are very important, especially in the areas of globalization.

✓ So I think this issue is very important, especially in the era of globalization.

The subject 'this issue' is singular, so the verb should be 'is' not 'are'. Also 'areas of globalization' is awkward; 'era of globalization' or 'context of globalization' is more natural. Suggestion: ensure subject and verb agree in number and choose appropriate collocations.

× This is because geography increase the knowledge of the of our environmental awareness.

✓ This is because geography increases our environmental awareness.

The subject 'geography' requires third-person singular verb form 'increases' (also maps to grammar problem 2 but primary here is present tense usage). The phrase 'the knowledge of the of our environmental awareness' is redundant and ungrammatical; simplify to 'increases our environmental awareness'. Suggestion: use simple, concise structures and correct verb agreement.

× For example, environmental geography tortures about the pollutions that we have nowadays and also the climate changes.

✓ For example, environmental geography teaches about the pollution we have nowadays and about climate change.

The student used the wrong word 'tortures' instead of 'teaches' (word choice error) and used plural 'pollutions' and 'climate changes' which are uncountable/idiomatic as 'pollution' and 'climate change'. This fits incorrect use of adjectives/nouns and vocabulary. Suggestion: learn common collocations: 'teaches about', 'pollution', 'climate change'.

× So we are more aware of this issue and then we can do something to prevent the.

✓ So we are more aware of this issue and we can do something to prevent it.

The sentence ends with an incomplete object 'the.' It should use the pronoun 'it' to refer to 'this issue'. The connector 'and then' is unnecessary; 'and' is sufficient. Suggestion: ensure sentences include complete objects and use pronouns correctly.

× Yes. When I was in secondary school, I learned geography and I really enjoy this subject because it's very interesting.

✓ Yes. When I was in secondary school, I learned geography and I really enjoyed that subject because it was very interesting.

The sentence mixes past 'learned' with present 'enjoy' and 'it's'. To describe past experience, use past tense consistently: 'enjoyed' and 'it was'. Suggestion: maintain consistent past tense when recounting past events.

× I get to learn the structure of the Earth as a basic geography.

✓ I learned about the structure of the Earth as a basic part of geography.

The original 'get to learn' is informal and tense-inconsistent; 'learned about' fits past narrative. Also 'as a basic geography' is wrong—use 'a basic part of geography' or 'basic geography'. Preposition and noun usage needed correction. Suggestion: use 'learned about' and clearer noun phrases.

× And then after this we move on to the pollution set we caused to them.

✓ After that, we moved on to pollution caused by us.

The original is ungrammatical: 'pollution set we caused to them' is incoherent. Rephrase to clarify meaning: 'pollution caused by us' or 'pollution we cause'. Also use past tense 'moved' to match narrative. Suggestion: keep subject, verb, and object clear and in correct order.

× For example, like the algal bomb that near the farming or the air pollution or the water pollutions.

✓ For example, things like algal blooms near farms, air pollution, or water pollution.

'Algal bomb' is incorrect; the correct term is 'algal bloom'. 'Near the farming' should be 'near farms' or 'near farming areas'. 'Water pollutions' should be 'water pollution' (uncountable). Suggestion: learn correct technical terms and pluralization of nouns.

× I would say I'm not interested to be a geography teacher because firstly, even though I thought I think the geography knowledge is very interesting, but it is involved a lot of factor so and I don't I would say it is quite boring for me.

✓ I would say I'm not interested in being a geography teacher because, although I think geographical knowledge is very interesting, it involves many factors and I would find it quite boring.

Incorrect use of infinitive 'interested to be' should be 'interested in being' (preposition + gerund). Tense and connector errors: mixing 'thought' and 'think' is confusing; choose 'think' for current opinion. 'Involved a lot of factor' should be 'involves many factors'. Suggestion: use 'interested in doing', maintain consistent tense, and use plural 'factors'.

× Secondly, I couldn't be a teacher because I'm not very patient to children's or students.

✓ Secondly, I couldn't be a teacher because I'm not very patient with children or students.

Use 'patient with' not 'patient to'. 'Children's' is possessive and incorrect here; use plural 'children'. Suggestion: learn common prepositional collocations like 'patient with'.

× So it was not my.

✓ So it was not for me.

The fragment 'it was not my' is incomplete. The intended meaning is 'not for me'. Use complete expressions to convey preference. Suggestion: avoid leaving sentences unfinished; use standard idioms like 'not for me'.

× Yes, actually I am very interested to learn about the geography of other country especially the one we are not familiar with for example like the Alaska in the United States, which is they have the winter season.

✓ Yes, actually I am very interested in learning about the geography of other countries, especially those we are not familiar with, for example Alaska in the United States, which has a long winter season.

Use 'interested in learning' (preposition + gerund) and plural 'countries'. Remove unnecessary 'the' before Alaska and fix clause 'which is they have' to 'which has'. Also 'winter season' is better described as 'long winter season' for clarity. Suggestion: use correct prepositions, plural forms, and concise relative clauses.

× So I'm really particular to interested to learn about it because I also want to know what kind of structure is it there, how is from the glaciers and then flood pollutions are there.

✓ So I'm really particularly interested in learning about it because I also want to know what kind of geological features are there, how the glaciers are formed, and whether there are flood or pollution problems there.

Multiple issues: 'particular to interested to' is ungrammatical—use 'particularly interested in'. Use 'learning about it'. The question word order 'what kind of structure is it there' should be 'what kind of ... are there' for statement. 'How is from the glaciers' is unclear; likely 'how the glaciers formed'. 'Flood pollutions' is awkward; separate 'floods' and 'pollution problems'. Suggestion: use correct adverb 'particularly', 'interested in', standard clause order, and precise nouns.