Flowers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally relevant but contains some redundancy and hesitations. Try to be more concise and avoid repeating words. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I love flowers, especially their fragrance. When I was a child, I was very fond of Jasmine flowers and often used to wear them in my hair.

提案: There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Work on subject-verb agreement and clearer sentence structure. Also, avoid redundancy like 'same similar life'.

例: Yes, I have a neighbour who loves flowers. Like me, she wears Jasmine flowers in her hair during temple festivals and special occasions such as weddings.

提案: Try to avoid filler words like 'uh' and vague phrases like 'and all'. Use more precise vocabulary and link your ideas clearly.

例: Yes, my home has many varieties of flowers such as Jasmine, orchids, and poppies. Their beauty is mesmerizing and they positively influence my mood.

提案: Your answer has some grammatical mistakes and unclear phrases like 'post a vial'. Focus on clear sentence structure and correct word usage.

例: Yes, whenever I see a beautiful flower while going out, I take a photo of it. I also like to photograph flowering trees and gardens and sometimes share these pictures on social media.

提案: Avoid repetition such as 'so' multiple times and improve sentence flow by using linking words. Also, use more precise vocabulary.

例: Yes, in my country, flowers are a common token of love. People often give flowers on anniversaries, birthdays, and other special occasions. These flowers come in various types and colours.

× When I was a kid I had I was really mad about the Jasmine flowers and I often, uh, plug them and put them in my hair hair.

✓ When I was a kid I was really mad about the Jasmine flowers and I often, uh, plucked them and put them in my hair.

The sentence incorrectly uses 'plug' instead of the past tense verb 'plucked'. The verb 'pluck' means to pick or pull off, and its past tense is 'plucked'. Also, the phrase 'I had I was' is redundant and incorrect, so it is corrected to 'I was'. This correction aligns the sentence with proper past tense usage and clarity.

× Yes, I has a neighborhood friend and she really is fond of flowers.

✓ Yes, I have a neighborhood friend and she really is fond of flowers.

The verb 'has' is incorrectly used with the first person singular subject 'I'. The correct form is 'have' for 'I'. This is a subject-verb agreement error involving the first person singular pronoun.

× Like me, she also allows to put the Jasmine flowers in her hair, particularly during the temple festivals and when there are certain special occasions like marriage.

✓ Like me, she also allows putting the Jasmine flowers in her hair, particularly during the temple festivals and on certain special occasions like marriage.

The phrase 'allows to put' is incorrect. The verb 'allow' should be followed by a gerund ('putting') or an object and infinitive. Also, 'when there are certain special occasions like marriage' is better expressed as 'on certain special occasions like marriage' to correctly use the preposition for occasions.

× So I think we too have same similar life.

✓ So I think we too have a similar life.

The phrase 'same similar life' is redundant and incorrect. 'Same' and 'similar' convey similar meanings, so only one should be used. Also, 'a' is needed before 'similar life' as it is a singular countable noun.

× Yes, in my home there are different varieties of flowers, which include the Jasmine flowers, orchids and the poppies and all, and it really mesmerizes your view by just, uh, being with them.

✓ Yes, in my home there are different varieties of flowers, which include Jasmine flowers, orchids, and poppies, and they really mesmerize your view just by being with them.

The phrase 'the Jasmine flowers' and 'the poppies' unnecessarily use the definite article 'the' when referring to flowers in general. Also, 'mesmerizes your view' is better as 'mesmerize your view' to agree with the plural subject 'flowers'. The phrase 'and all' is informal and omitted for clarity.

× Whenever I go out if I happen to see a beautiful flower I'll just click a snap of it or otherwise if there are larger flower flowering trees or gardens I often post a vial and clicks my photos along with them.

✓ Whenever I go out, if I happen to see a beautiful flower, I'll just click a snap of it; otherwise, if there are larger flowering trees or gardens, I often post a video and click my photos along with them.

The phrase 'larger flower flowering trees' is incorrect; it should be 'larger flowering trees'. The word 'vial' is a typo and should be 'video'. Also, 'clicks my photos' should be 'click my photos' to agree with the subject 'I'. Proper punctuation is added for clarity.

× They can be of variety types and a variety colors.

✓ They can be of various types and a variety of colors.

The phrase 'variety types' is incorrect; it should be 'various types'. Also, 'a variety colors' is missing the preposition 'of' and should be 'a variety of colors'. These corrections improve the quantifier usage and prepositional phrases.