Flowers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid fillers (uh, umm) and repetition. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., ‘I really like flowers’ instead of ‘I very like’).

例: I really like flowers because they make me feel relaxed. For example, I enjoy lilies and irises, and I often keep a small vase of flowers at home to create a calm atmosphere.

提案: Answer directly and clearly. Use a topic sentence then add a brief specific example with linking words. Correct word order and avoid hesitation. Replace vague phrases with concrete ones (e.g., ‘my mother loves flowers and buys roses’).

例: Yes, my mother loves flowers. For example, she often buys Chinese roses and arranges them at home because she enjoys their color and scent.

提案: Give a clear direct answer (yes/no) and then explain with specific details. Use linking words like ‘however’ or ‘but’ for contrast. Avoid unclear phrases and repetitions. Specify locations (e.g., parks, balconies) and who plants or buys flowers.

例: Not many people plant flowers where I live, but my parents sometimes buy potted plants. However, there are a few community parks nearby that have flower beds.

提案: Be concise and state your opinion clearly. If you disagree with photographing flowers, give a reason and one supporting detail without confusing metaphors. Use linking words like ‘because’ or ‘so’.

例: No, I don't usually take photos of flowers because I prefer to enjoy them in person. I feel photos cannot capture their scent and the moment of seeing them live.

提案: Answer directly and give clear examples of occasions with correct vocabulary and grammar. Use linking words such as ‘for example’ and avoid vague or incorrect words (‘control’ -> ‘country’). Keep it to two to three sentences.

例: Yes, people in my country often send flowers on special occasions. For example, children usually give flowers to their mothers on Mother’s Day, and people also send flowers for birthdays and weddings.

× Definitely, I uh, I very like, love flowers, for example, umm, Chinese seals, uh, Lily or iris, umm, flower make me make, make people feel relax and umm, plan for uh, flowers is uh, abilities.

✓ Definitely, I really like and love flowers. For example, Chinese roses, lilies, or irises. Flowers make me and other people feel relaxed, and caring for flowers is an enjoyable activity.

Problems include incorrect adverb placement ('very like' should be 'really like'), redundant words ('make me make, make people'), wrong noun forms ('Chinese seals' likely 'Chinese roses'), and incorrect adjective form ('relax' should be 'relaxed'). Also sentence is run-on; split into clearer sentences. Suggestion: use correct adverb 'really' before verb, use plural forms for flower names, use past participle/adjective 'relaxed' to describe state, and separate ideas into short sentences for clarity.

× Honestly, I don't know uh, famous some someone love lovers, but in my, in my clothes, my I know someone like flowers, for example, my mother and she very, very like like to, uh, buy some Chinese rose or uh.

✓ Honestly, I don't know any famous people who love flowers, but in my life I know someone who likes flowers. For example, my mother really likes to buy Chinese roses.

Problems: incorrect pronoun/quantifier usage ('some someone love lovers' is ungrammatical), wrong noun 'clothes' should be 'life', missing relative clause structure ('people who love'), and wrong adjective/adverb placement ('she very, very like' should be 'she really likes'). Suggestion: use 'any' with negative sentences, 'people who' for relative clauses, use 'life' not 'clothes' for personal context, and use correct verb form 'likes' for third person singular.

× Uh, let me think in, in my, uh, in my plus I live, no, no one, uh, like to plant flowers, but my parents like to, uh, like to buy some Chinese areas or, or they can go to some.

✓ Uh, let me think. In the place where I live, no one likes to plant flowers, but my parents like to buy some Chinese roses, or they sometimes go to flower markets.

Problems: incorrect noun forms ('plus' unclear, likely 'place'; 'areas' should be 'roses'), subject-verb agreement ('no one, uh, like' should be 'no one likes'), and unclear phrasing at the end. Suggestion: use 'place where I live' for location, ensure third person singular verb agrees with 'no one', and use correct plural nouns 'roses' and clear phrases like 'flower markets'.

× Uh, I don't think so. I think take photos for flowers is is doesn't make sense. I think, uh, this thing gonna need to use ice to feel the you need to, uh, fill them by heart and photos just as a cover.

✓ Uh, I don't think so. I think taking photos of flowers doesn't make sense. I believe this activity requires feeling them with your heart, and photos are only a cover.

Problems: incorrect verb form after think ('take photos' should be gerund 'taking photos'), double auxiliary 'is doesn't', informal 'gonna', and unclear phrase 'use ice to feel the you need to...'. Suggestion: use gerund after 'think' when stating an opinion about an action, avoid double auxiliaries, replace informal 'gonna' with 'going to' or better wording, and simplify to 'requires feeling them with your heart' for intended meaning.

× Yes, in my control, people usually send follow flowers to others in the special days for for example, in the modern day, the children usually, uh spend flower for her mothers, uh, in addition in.

✓ Yes, in my country, people usually send flowers to others on special days. For example, on Mother's Day, children usually give flowers to their mothers.

Problems: wrong word 'control' should be 'country', wrong collocation 'send follow flowers', wrong preposition 'in the special days' should be 'on special days', and incorrect pronouns 'her mothers' should be 'their mothers'. Suggestion: use correct country-related word, use 'on' for days, 'give flowers to' or 'send flowers to', and use plural possessive pronoun 'their' to match plural children.