Flowers— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid redundancy (repeating shapes and colors) and correct minor grammar (e.g., “I have never received flowers” rather than “gifted flowers before”).

例: Yes, I love flowers. Their variety of shapes and vibrant colours always cheer me up. For example, I often buy roses for my mother because she loves their scent and elegant appearance.

提案: Make the response more natural and succinct: give a direct topic sentence, then one clear reason with a linking word. Avoid awkward phrasing like “a difficult thing not to love.” Use specific examples or groups of people.

例: Yes, many people I know love flowers because they are a simple and meaningful gift. For instance, my friends often give bouquets on birthdays to show appreciation.

提案: Be direct and tidy: start with a clear statement about the garden, then add one precise sensory detail. Remove repeated phrases and use correct word order (e.g., “many different kinds”).

例: Yes, there is a large garden behind our house with many different kinds of flowers. Their strong, sweet scent is very soothing, especially in the early morning.

提案: Good content and structure; tighten language and use correct collocations (e.g., “in spring” rather than “around spring time”, “look beautiful in photos”). Limit to 2–3 sentences and add a linking word to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I often photograph flowers, especially in spring when they are in full bloom and the colours are vivid. I usually post the best shots on social media to share them with friends.

提案: Improve grammar and fluency: use correct plurality and prepositions (e.g., “give flowers to each other”, “on special occasions such as engagements or weddings”). Avoid trailing off; finish the sentence with a clear point. Provide one specific example.

例: Yes, it is common to give flowers, especially between romantic partners. For example, people often present bouquets at engagements and weddings, and venues are usually decorated with many floral arrangements.

× I believe they are the most attractive things on earth.

✓ I believe they are the most attractive things on the earth.

The definite article 'the' is commonly used with 'earth' when describing it as a specific place; saying 'the earth' is more natural in this context. Use 'the earth' when referring to the planet as a whole.

× And I have never been gifted flowers before, but I've definitely gifted a lot of people flowers, especially my mom.

✓ And I have never been gifted flowers before, but I've definitely given a lot of people flowers, especially my mom.

The verb 'gift' as a transitive verb is less natural in this context; 'give' is the common past participle construction with 'have'. Using 'given' (present perfect) matches 'have' and is idiomatic: 'I've given a lot of people flowers.' 'Gifted' is acceptable but sounds formal or unusual.

× Yes, I know a lot of people who do love flowers because flowers are such a difficult thing not to love or not to admire because they have a lot of different shapes, a lot of different colors, and they are an easy way to express how you feel towards someone.

✓ Yes, I know a lot of people who love flowers because they are hard not to admire: they come in many shapes and colors and are an easy way to express your feelings toward someone.

Original sentence is wordy and uses awkward double negatives ('difficult... not to love or not to admire'). Simplify by using 'hard not to admire'. Reduce repetition ('a lot of different') and correct phrase 'towards someone' to 'toward someone' or 'your feelings toward someone'. This improves clarity and naturalness.

× Yes, there is a big garden behind our house and it contains a lot of different plants and flowers as well.

✓ Yes, there is a big garden behind our house, and it contains many different plants and flowers as well.

Use 'many' instead of 'a lot of' for countable nouns in more formal speech. Also add a comma before 'and' to join independent clauses. Plural 'plants and flowers' is correct; this change improves register and flow.

× There are different a lot of different kinds of flowers, different shapes and different colors, and they all emit a very strong smell which I find very soothing and relaxing.

✓ There are many different kinds of flowers with various shapes and colors, and they often emit strong scents that I find soothing and relaxing.

The phrase 'different a lot of different' is ungrammatical and repetitive. Replace with 'many different kinds' and 'various shapes and colors'. 'Emit a very strong smell' is awkward; 'emit strong scents' is more natural. 'Which I find' can be compressed to 'that I find' to link the clause smoothly.

× Usually this happens around spring time where the flowers have fully blossomed and the colors are very bright.

✓ Usually this happens around springtime when the flowers have fully blossomed and their colors are very bright.

Use 'springtime' as one word and 'when' rather than 'where' to refer to a time period. Add 'their' before 'colors' for clarity. Present perfect 'have fully blossomed' is acceptable; keep it to indicate completed action by spring.

× They come out in the picture very beautiful and I show them on social media too.

✓ They turn out very beautifully in the pictures, and I also post them on social media.

Adverb 'beautifully' should modify the verb 'turn out' rather than using adjective 'beautiful' after the verb. 'Come out in the picture' is awkward; 'turn out in the pictures' is idiomatic. Use 'post' instead of 'show' for social media context and add 'also' for emphasis.

× Yes, it's very common to send or give the flowers to others especially lovers.

✓ Yes, it's very common to send or give flowers to others, especially to romantic partners.

Drop the definite article 'the' before 'flowers' when speaking generally. 'Lovers' is informal and can be ambiguous; 'romantic partners' is clearer. Also add 'to' before 'romantic partners' for correct preposition use.

× They do give the flowers to each others a lot especially in their special occasion like their engagement occasion or their wedding.

✓ They often give flowers to each other, especially on special occasions like engagements or weddings.

Use reciprocal pronoun 'each other' (not 'each others'). Remove 'the' before 'flowers' when speaking generally. 'A lot' is better replaced by 'often'. Use plural 'occasions' and idiomatic phrases 'engagements' and 'weddings'.

× There will be a lot of flowers in these occasion but.

✓ There are usually many flowers at these occasions.

Original sentence is incomplete and contains tense mismatch and article errors. 'There will be... in these occasion but.' is fragmentary. Use simple present 'are' to state a common fact, 'many' for countable noun, and 'at these occasions' as correct preposition and plural form.