Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn hơi dài dòng và thiếu sự rõ ràng. Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp câu hỏi, sau đó giải thích ngắn gọn và sử dụng các từ nối để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

例: Yes, I write a lot because it helps improve my cognitive skills. For example, writing regularly trains my brain to think more clearly and creatively.

提案: Bạn nên sử dụng cấu trúc câu rõ ràng hơn và tránh lỗi ngữ pháp. Hãy thêm từ nối để câu trả lời mạch lạc và cụ thể hơn về lợi ích của việc viết nhật ký.

例: I like writing in my journal because it allows me to reflect on my day. Moreover, it helps me calm down and release negative feelings after work.

提案: Câu trả lời thiếu rõ ràng và có lỗi ngữ pháp. Bạn nên trả lời trực tiếp, sử dụng từ nối và giải thích cụ thể hơn về sự thay đổi trong suy nghĩ và nội dung viết.

例: Yes, I believe the things I write will change as I grow older because my thoughts and beliefs evolve over time.

提案: Bạn nên trả lời ngắn gọn, rõ ràng và tránh lặp từ. Sử dụng từ nối để câu trả lời mạch lạc và thêm lý do cụ thể cho sở thích của bạn.

例: I prefer handwriting because I enjoy the tactile feeling of pen on paper. Also, I like my handwriting and find it beautiful.

× Yes I do because I believe this is a good way for me to improve my cognitive function because you know when we write our brain practices so I believe this is a good way to enhance my.

✓ Yes, I do because I believe this is a good way for me to improve my cognitive function. You know, when we write, our brain is practicing, so I believe this is a good way to enhance it.

The original sentence lacks proper verb forms and punctuation. 'Our brain practices' should be 'our brain is practicing' to indicate the ongoing action. Also, the sentence is a run-on and needs to be split for clarity.

× I love writing my day in my journal because this is a way for me to reflect a day and calm down all my negative feeling I have after a day of working.

✓ I love writing about my day in my journal because this is a way for me to reflect on the day and calm down all the negative feelings I have after a day of working.

The preposition 'in' is incorrect when referring to writing about a topic; 'about' is appropriate. Also, 'reflect a day' should be 'reflect on the day'. 'Feeling' should be plural 'feelings' to match 'all my negative feelings'.

× Yes, I think that when I grow up my mind changed too and the thing I believe it came to. So only thing I write down will change someday.

✓ Yes, I think that when I grow up, my mind will change too and the things I believe in will change. So the only things I write down will change someday.

The sentence mixes tenses incorrectly. 'Grow up' is future, so 'changed' should be 'will change'. 'The thing I believe it came to' is unclear and ungrammatical; it should be 'the things I believe in will change'. Also, 'only thing' should be 'only things' to agree with plural 'things'.

× I love handwriting more, I know, but I love the feeling when I touch the paper and the pen.

✓ I love handwriting more, I know, because I love the feeling when I touch the paper and the pen.

The conjunction 'but' is incorrectly used here; 'because' better expresses the reason for the preference.

× And maybe because I love my handwriting, I think it's beautiful. So I prefer handwriting.

✓ Maybe because I love my handwriting, I think it is beautiful, so I prefer handwriting.

Starting a sentence with 'And' is informal and unnecessary here. Also, 'it's' is acceptable but expanding to 'it is' is more formal. The sentence is better combined for clarity.