Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and directly answer the question with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons. Avoid vague phrases and repetitions. Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas and keep sentences shorter (max 3–4 clauses).

例: I don't write as much now as I did ten years ago. This is because my social life has become quieter, so I have fewer daily interactions and less to record. Therefore, I only write occasionally when something significant happens.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence and then give a specific example of what you write and why. Use linking words like "because" and "for example," and avoid repeating similar words (emotions/feelings).

例: I like to write about my emotions and thoughts because it helps me process how I feel. For example, when I'm upset I write a short poem or a reflective paragraph, which makes my feelings clearer and calmer.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence, then illustrate with one or two concise, specific contrasts (use linking words like "when" or "whereas"). Avoid repetition and correct grammar (e.g., 'when I'm' not 'when I I'm').

例: Yes. My writing changes with my circumstances: when I'm in a happy relationship I write romantic, optimistic pieces, whereas during difficult times I tend to write reflective, serious journal entries.

提案: Answer directly and give two clear reasons with linking words. Avoid filler words and incomplete sentences; finish your thoughts (e.g., 'I tend to lose my notebooks'). Use varied vocabulary (convenient, secure, legible).

例: I prefer typing on my phone because it's faster and my notes are safely backed up. I avoid handwriting since my script is hard to read and I often lose physical notebooks.

提案: Begin with a clear statement of frequency, then give one or two specific reasons. Use linking words like "because" and avoid repeating words. Keep answers within 3–4 sentences.

例: I rarely keep a diary these days; ten years ago I wrote daily. Because my life is less eventful now, I don't feel the same need to record my thoughts.

提案: Start with a direct topic sentence naming the methods, then briefly explain when or why you use each. Avoid awkward phrasing (e.g., 'vibrations of my vocal cords'); use simple, natural expressions and limit to 2–3 sentences.

例: Besides writing, I often use voice memos to record my thoughts because speaking helps me release emotions quickly. For instance, if I'm stressed I make a short audio note to calm down and later transcribe any important points.

× I definitely used to write more like 10 years ago, but right now I don't write as much mainly because all of the live dramas and relationships and friendships all have gone to minimum and I don't interact with people on a daily basis like I used to so these.

✓ I definitely used to write more about 10 years ago, but right now I don't write as much, mainly because the dramas and relationships and friendships have decreased, and I don't interact with people daily like I used to.

The sentence contained tense and phrasing problems. 'Used to' correctly indicates past habit; keep it. 'More like 10 years ago' is awkward; use 'about 10 years ago'. 'All have gone to minimum' is nonstandard; use 'have decreased' or 'have diminished'. Maintain present perfect 'have decreased' for a change from past to now. Also remove redundant 'all' and restructure for clarity. Suggestion: simplify clauses and keep consistent tense transitions. Grammar problem type ID:5

× I love to write about my emotions, about my feelings and my thoughts as writing those down really helps me clear my mind and understand myself better.

✓ I love writing about my emotions, feelings, and thoughts, because writing them down really helps me clear my mind and understand myself better.

The original is wordy and slightly repetitive. Use the gerund 'writing' to parallel the idea and combine 'emotions, feelings, and thoughts' into a concise list. Replace 'as' with 'because' for clearer causal connection. Use 'them' to refer back to the listed items for smoother pronoun use. Grammar problem type ID:26

× Also, I can transform these emotions and thoughts into beautiful writings like poems and just writing paragraphs.

✓ Also, I can transform these emotions and thoughts into beautiful writing, such as poems and short paragraphs.

'Writings' is awkward; 'writing' as an uncountable noun is better. 'Just writing paragraphs' is unidiomatic; use 'short paragraphs' or 'prose paragraphs'. Change to 'such as' to introduce examples. Use correct noun forms for natural phrasing. Grammar problem type ID:10},{