Writing— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and use correct comparative structures. Use linking words briefly to add one supporting detail.

例: Yes, I write quite a lot. I often type on my laptop because the keyboard is more comfortable than a desktop keyboard, and these days most people use digital devices instead of paper.

提案: Answer the question directly about what you like to write and give a clear reason. Fix grammar (daily visa → daily, or in my daily life) and use linking words to explain purpose.

例: I prefer writing short messages and notes rather than emails because emails at work are formal and time-consuming. However, I do send daily emails to my manager and colleagues to update them about project progress.

提案: Give a clearer opinion and explain reasons with specific examples. Use correct tense and linking words (however, although, because) to show contrast.

例: I don't think my everyday personal notes will change much because they are simple reminders. However, my professional writing does change depending on the recipient; for example, I use more formal language when emailing my manager than when messaging colleagues.

提案: Answer directly and give one supporting reason with correct grammar. Avoid unclear fragments (e.g., 'I usually 2 handwriting'). Use linking words like 'because' or 'since'.

例: I prefer typing to handwriting because it is faster and my laptop is more convenient for work. As a child I did most schoolwork by hand, but now I type most documents for my manager.

提案: Clarify whether you keep a diary regularly and give specific frequency and examples. Use singular/plural correctly and simpler phrasing.

例: I don't keep a daily diary, but I do note important dates in a planner. For example, I record birthdays, family anniversaries, days off, and important work deadlines.

提案: Provide a clear, concise answer describing methods you use (photos, apps, social media). Avoid unclear phrases and repetition. Use linking words to organize the sentence.

例: I mainly record my life with photos on my phone; I take selfies with family and friends when we go to the cinema or on trips, and I save these pictures in albums for future memories.

× 'Yes, I write a lot on paper, sometimes on keyboard, but I prefer to write on the laptop keyboard because it's smooth as compared to the desktop.'

✓ 'Yes, I write a lot on paper, sometimes on a keyboard, but I prefer to write on a laptop keyboard because it is smoother than a desktop keyboard.'

'on keyboard' and 'on the laptop keyboard' need articles; use 'a keyboard' and 'a laptop keyboard'. 'smooth as compared to the desktop' is awkward; use comparative 'smoother than a desktop keyboard'. Use 'it is' for clarity.

× 'Nowadays, usually people prefer to writing on the technology as compared to paper.'

✓ 'Nowadays, people usually prefer writing on technology to paper.'

'prefer to writing' is wrong: 'prefer writing' or 'prefer to write'. 'on the technology' is incorrect; 'on technology' or 'using technology' is natural. 'as compared to' is wordy; use 'to' for preference comparison.

× 'I don't like to write emails in daily visa because it's related to my work.'

✓ 'I don't like to write emails in my daily life because they are related to my work.'

'daily visa' is incorrect word choice; likely 'daily life'. Use 'my' for possession. 'emails' plural requires plural pronoun 'they' and 'are' (subject-verb agreement).

× 'Everyday I write emails to my senior manager as well as to my colleagues because to know about what the condition of the work performance in my office.'

✓ 'Every day I write emails to my senior manager and to my colleagues to inform them about the work performance in my office.'

'Everyday' used as adjective; use 'Every day' adverb. Remove 'because to know about what' and replace with infinitive 'to inform' for purpose. 'condition of the work performance' is unnatural; use 'work performance'.

× 'No, I think the things I write not change.'

✓ 'No, I think the things I write do not change.'

Negative present simple requires auxiliary 'do not' + base verb. 'not change' without 'do' is incorrect in present tense.

× 'They're usually the same as compared to earlier, but some of the changes that occur at the time of professional emails, which usually I send to my manager as compared to my colleagues.'

✓ 'They are usually the same as before, but some changes occur in professional emails that I usually send to my manager rather than to my colleagues.'

'as compared to earlier' is awkward; use 'as before' or 'than before'. 'at the time of professional emails' should be 'in professional emails'. 'which usually I send' word order is awkward; place subject before verb. 'as compared to my colleagues' -> 'rather than to my colleagues'.

× 'When I was a child I usually 2 handwriting on the paper with my schoolwork.'

✓ 'When I was a child I usually wrote by hand on paper for my schoolwork.'

'2 handwriting' seems accidental; intended 'handwrote' or 'wrote by hand'. Past habit requires past tense 'wrote'. Use 'by hand' or 'handwriting' as noun: 'wrote by hand' is natural. 'on the paper' -> 'on paper'.

× 'But nowadays I am writing on the laptop regarding my workplace work to my manager.'

✓ 'But nowadays I write on my laptop for work and send messages to my manager.'

'am writing on the laptop regarding my workplace work to my manager' is wordy and ungrammatical. Prefer simple present 'I write' for habitual action. 'workplace work' is redundant; use 'for work'.

× 'I usually write important dates in my Diaries, for example, my birthday dates, my mother birthday date, my family date of all families, take off both and my important work.'

✓ 'I usually write important dates in my diary, for example, my birthday, my mother's birthday, family members' birthdays, days off, and important work deadlines.'

'Diaries' should be singular 'diary' for personal journal. Phrases like 'my birthday dates' and 'my mother birthday date' need possessive and simpler form ('my birthday', 'my mother's birthday'). 'my family date of all families' is unclear; interpret as 'family members' birthdays'. 'take off both' likely 'days off'. Clarify 'important work' as 'important work deadlines'.

× 'Doesn't matter, I usually start my life to take the selfie with my family and my friends who pay for my movies whenever I go to the whenever I was going to the trip and tomorrow I was going to the trip I saved that to self either photos in my phone.'

✓ 'It does not matter; I usually take selfies with my family and friends whenever I go on a trip, and I save those photos on my phone.'

'Doesn't matter' is incomplete as a response; use 'It does not matter.' 'start my life to take the selfie' is ungrammatical; simplify to 'I usually take selfies'. 'who pay for my movies' is irrelevant/confusing and removed. Correct tense and phrasing for trips: 'whenever I go on a trip'. 'saved that to self either photos' is unintelligible; use 'save those photos on my phone'.