Weather— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cải thiện ngữ pháp và từ vựng cơ bản: sửa lỗi chia thì, danh từ số nhiều/đơn, và từ từng dùng sai. Tránh câu dài lủng củng; trả lời nên có 1 câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó 1-2 câu chi tiết cụ thể. Ví dụ: dùng "snow" thay vì "wings", "hot cocoa" thay vì "hot cacao". Nói ngắn gọn và mạch lạc hơn.

例: It's winter in Hyphen City now and it's very cold. Sometimes it snows lightly, which I find quite nice. I like to drink hot cocoa to keep warm when the weather is like this.

提案: Cải thiện cấu trúc câu và liên từ: mở đầu bằng một câu chủ đề ngắn, sau đó dùng liên từ (because, so, therefore) để giải thích. Tránh lặp từ, sửa ngữ pháp như "my body freezes" → "my body feels numb" hoặc "I feel less active in cold weather". Giữ dưới 5 câu.

例: I prefer hot weather because I feel more energetic in warm conditions. In cold weather I feel sluggish and it's harder to do outdoor activities. For example, when it's hot I can go to the beach, swim and hang out with my friends.

提案: Sửa phát âm và ngữ vựng cơ bản: dùng từ chính xác (dry/wet, sticky, muddy) và tránh lỗi đánh vần/thay từ. Bắt đầu với câu chủ đề rõ ràng và thêm 1-2 ví dụ cụ thể. Tránh lặp từ như "I can I can".

例: I prefer dry weather because rain often makes the ground muddy and sticky. After rain I don't like feeling dirty, and it's harder to play sports. In dry weather I can play badminton or go running without worrying about mud.

提案: Cải thiện độ chính xác và mạch lạc: trả lời trực tiếp, nói rõ tần suất (e.g. rarely, often) và phương tiện (phone, app). Tránh thành ngữ lạ quá nhiều; dùng "busy" là đủ. Sửa ngữ pháp như "I often check" và loại bỏ từ thừa.

例: I don't usually check the weather forecast because I'm often busy in the mornings. However, when I plan a trip I always check the forecast on my phone to decide what to pack. Most people use weather apps nowadays.

提案: Cải thiện nội dung và độ chính xác: cần phát triển ý rõ ràng, dùng từ đúng (pollution, emissions, waste), tránh câu lủng củng. Trình bày 2-3 hệ quả cụ thể (nguyên nhân: vehicle emissions, waste; hậu quả: air pollution, extreme weather). Dùng liên từ để kết nối ý.

例: I think human activities have increased pollution and greenhouse gas emissions. For example, more cars and industrial waste have polluted the air, which contributes to global warming. As a result, we now see more extreme weather events and rising temperatures.

提案: Sửa ngữ pháp thời quá khứ và từ vựng: dùng thì đúng (I wanted as a kid), sửa cụm từ (touch snow, build a snowman). Trình bày mục đích ngắn gọn và kết thúc bằng kế hoạch hiện tại. Giữ 2-3 câu cụ thể.

例: Yes, I'd love to visit places with different climates. As a child I always wanted to see snow in countries like Norway or Switzerland and build a snowman with my family. Now I'm saving money so I can travel there someday.

× Now in December, so the weather in Hyphen City is winter.

✓ It is December now, so the weather in Hyphen City is wintry.

The original sentence uses awkward word order and the noun 'winter' is incorrectly used to describe the weather; an adjective 'wintry' or a present simple construction 'it is winter' is appropriate. Also move 'now' to the beginning for natural word order.

× It's really cold and sometime it has a little wings, so I feel like it's quite really cute and suitable for me to have a hot cacao drink.

✓ It's really cold and sometimes there are little winds, so I feel it's quite cozy and suitable for me to have a hot cocoa.

Multiple issues: 'sometime' should be 'sometimes' (adverb of frequency). 'a little wings' is incorrect plural/singular and word choice; use 'little winds' or 'a light breeze'. 'Cute' is inappropriate for weather; 'cozy' fits better. 'Cacao' as drink is usually 'cocoa'. Also use 'there are' for existence of winds.

× Well, in my opinion, I prefer hot weather because in hot weather, I feel my body is really active than the cold weather.

✓ Well, in my opinion, I prefer hot weather because in hot weather I feel more energetic than in cold weather.

Use comparative 'more energetic' rather than 'really active than'. Avoid repeating 'in hot weather' and use parallel structure 'than in cold weather'.

× Uh, because cold weather is it make my body freezes, so it's hard for me to do outdoor activity.

✓ In cold weather my body freezes, so it's hard for me to do outdoor activities.

Remove redundant 'is' and 'it'; use correct verb form 'freezes' with subject 'my body' or better 'my body feels frozen'. 'Outdoor activity' should be plural 'outdoor activities' when speaking generally.

× So in the hot weather, I can go to the beach, go swimming and hang with hang out with my friend more than the.

✓ So in hot weather I can go to the beach, go swimming and hang out with my friends more often.

Correct 'hang with hang out with' duplication; use 'hang out with my friends'. Remove incomplete comparative 'more than the.' Use plural 'friends' and adverb 'more often'.

× Absolutely eat dry weather.

✓ I absolutely prefer dry weather.

The original lacks a subject and uses 'eat' incorrectly. Use verb 'prefer' and include subject 'I'.

× I feel wonder the weather it's rained so I feel my body is really dirty and everything is like like a slam is sticky.

✓ I don't like rainy weather because I feel dirty and everything becomes sticky and muddy.

Original is ungrammatical and confusing. Use clear structure: 'I don't like rainy weather' and describe effects with correct adjectives 'sticky and muddy'.

× So when the dry weather I can I can do more activity in outdoor than the normal like play badminton plays.

✓ So in dry weather I can do more outdoor activities, like playing badminton.

Remove repeated 'I can', use 'in dry weather' not 'when the dry weather', use plural 'activities' and 'playing badminton' as gerund.

× No, I'm busy as a bee.

✓ No, I'm as busy as a bee.

Simile 'as busy as a bee' requires 'as' before 'busy' not 'busy as a bee' in this context; both can be used but 'I'm as busy as a bee' is more natural.

× I have to go to school every morning, so I don't have time to take the forecast, the weather forecast.

✓ I have to go to school every morning, so I don't have time to check the weather forecast.

Use 'check' rather than 'take' with 'weather forecast' and avoid repeating the phrase.

× So it's roughly for me to check this.

✓ So it's rare for me to check it.

'Roughly' is incorrect; 'rarely' means 'not often' or 'rare' as adjective 'rare for me' — better 'rare for me' or 'I rarely check it.'

× But when I have a trip, I'm often check the weather forecast through on my phone because I think nowadays each people have their own telephone.

✓ But when I have a trip, I often check the weather forecast on my phone because nowadays people usually have their own phones.

Use simple present 'I often check' not 'I'm often check'. Remove unnecessary 'through'. 'Each people' is incorrect; use 'people' or 'each person' and 'phones' plural.

× I think the firstly is related about the when it of humans, some people have a bad habit like they threw some rabbit in the road or now it's a lot of vehicle it run by a gas or electrometer.

✓ I think firstly it is related to human behavior; some people have bad habits like throwing rubbish on the road, and many vehicles run on petrol or electricity.

Original is confused: use 'firstly' and 'related to human behavior'. 'Threw some rabbit' seems meant 'throw rubbish'. 'Vehicle it run by a gas or electrometer' corrected to 'vehicles run on petrol or electricity'.

× So it's relate really dirty for atmosphere.

✓ So it makes the atmosphere very polluted.

Use 'make something polluted' rather than 'relate dirty for atmosphere'. 'Atmosphere' usually 'the atmosphere' and 'polluted' describes condition.

× So it is the regions one of the regions.

✓ So this affects many regions.

Original is redundant and ungrammatical; simplify to 'this affects many regions'.

× Yes, absolutely yes. When I were a kid I always want to go abroad to touch snow like in northern land and Switzerland, to build a Snow White with my friends and with my family, which is really funny activity and helpful for my relationship.

✓ Yes, absolutely. When I was a kid I always wanted to go abroad to see snow in northern countries and Switzerland, to build a snowman with my friends and family, which would be a lot of fun and good for my relationships.

Use past tense 'was' not 'were' and 'wanted' not 'want' for past desires. 'Northern land' -> 'northern countries'. 'Snow White' likely 'snowman'. Use 'would be' to describe hypothetical enjoyment and plural 'relationships' or 'friendships'.

× So now I only want to earn more money to go.

✓ So now I just want to earn more money to go there.

Add 'there' to indicate destination and 'just' is more natural than 'only' here. Tense is present desire; construction is fine but needs object.