Weather— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Speak more fluently and reduce hesitations (umm, uh). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Correct small grammar errors (e.g., "trees are full of beautiful flowers"; "they give a pleasant fragrance"). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

例: I like spring where I live because the trees are full of beautiful flowers. The fallen petals give a pleasant fragrance and cover the sidewalks, which looks very pretty. For example, there is a park near my house where the flowers create a colorful carpet every April.

提案: Give a clear topic sentence and two concise reasons, avoiding repetition and irrelevant phrases ("gives us fat" unclear). Use linking words (because, so) and correct phrases (e.g., "in winter I can't walk properly"). Limit to 3–4 sentences.

例: I prefer hot weather because I find it easier to be active. In winter my hands get very cold and snow makes walking difficult, so I avoid going out. Also, in warm weather I can enjoy outdoor attractions like amusement parks.

提案: Remove hesitations and organize your answer: topic sentence + two specific reasons with linking words. Fix incomplete phrases ("my shoes are" → "my shoes get wet"). Be concise and avoid repeating the same point.

例: I prefer dry weather because my shoes and clothes don't get wet when I walk. As a result I can move comfortably and do outdoor activities. For example, on dry days I often go jogging or meet friends in the park.

提案: Clarify and structure your answer: say how often and why. Avoid unclear phrases ("vendors", "pineapple or in a positive"). Use linking words (so, because) and specific frequency (e.g., "every morning"). Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I check the weather every morning before leaving for college because the temperature can change quickly here. I do this so I can dress appropriately and avoid being cold or wet during the day.

提案: Start with a direct statement about effects of climate change, then give a clear specific example using linking words (for example, last year...). Correct grammar ("there was no snow at Christmas"; "children couldn't make snowmen"). Keep to 3–4 sentences and avoid hesitations.

例: Climate change has caused unusual weather patterns, such as milder winters and less snowfall. For example, last year there was no snow at Christmas in my area, so children could not build snowmen and people were disappointed. This shows how seasonal traditions are being affected.

提案: Provide a clear yes/no and two reasons why. Avoid unintelligible phrases ("wear many cities", "chainsaw"). Use linking words (because, so) and give a specific example of a climate you'd like to experience. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

例: Yes, I would like to visit cities with different climates because I want to see landscapes and lifestyles that are new to me. For example, I would like to visit a dry desert city to understand how people adapt to the heat and learn ideas that might be useful at home.

× I like umm, spring season, uh, especially in Canada because the uh, trees are full with the beautiful flowers.

✓ I like the spring season, especially in Canada, because the trees are full of beautiful flowers.

Use 'full of' not 'full with' to indicate something contains or is covered by something. Also include the definite article 'the' before 'spring season' for a specific season and remove unnecessary articles before 'beautiful flowers'. Use commas to separate clauses for clarity.

× They're they give a pleasant fragrance and whenever they fall on the road or a side Rd. it looks really beautiful.

✓ They give a pleasant fragrance, and whenever they fall on the road or the side of the road it looks really beautiful.

Remove the redundant 'they' after 'They're'. Use 'the side of the road' for correct noun phrase. Add a comma before 'and' to join independent clauses. Ensure pronoun 'they' clearly refers to 'flowers' earlier.

× I personally prefer hot weather, even a hot weather gives us fat.

✓ I personally prefer hot weather; hot weather even makes us fat.

'A hot weather' is incorrect; 'weather' is uncountable so do not use 'a'. The intended meaning is that hot weather can make people gain weight, so use 'makes us fat'. Use proper punctuation or conjunction to connect clauses.

× But in winter week, uh, I really can't walk properly because of snow and my hands are freezing so I prefer hot weather umm and I can even enjoy like go to adventure parks, wonderlands and.

✓ But in winter, I really can't walk properly because of the snow and my hands freeze, so I prefer hot weather and can even enjoy going to adventure parks and theme parks.

Use 'in winter' not 'in winter week'. 'Because of the snow' requires the definite article. Use present simple 'freeze' for habitual effect. 'Enjoy going to' is correct verb+ing structure. 'Wonderlands' is informal; 'theme parks' is clearer. Remove filler and complete the list.

× I prefer, uh, dry weather because whenever I want, uh, walk in wet weather, my shoes are and my jeans and all the clothes get wet.

✓ I prefer dry weather because whenever I walk in wet weather, my shoes, jeans and all my clothes get wet.

Remove unnecessary commas and filler words. Use 'walk in wet weather' without 'want' in this context. 'My shoes are' is incomplete—omit 'are'. Include 'my' before 'clothes' for clarity.

× I can't really move. I really, uh, but even dry weather, it's not a problem. I can work properly, I can walk properly, even I can play or anything I want to.

✓ I can't really move in wet weather, but in dry weather it's not a problem: I can work, walk, or play as I want.

Combine fragments into coherent sentences and clarify contrast using 'but'. Remove redundant 'really' and filler 'uh'. Use parallel verb forms and 'as I want' for natural phrasing.

× Yes, I really want to always check my weather before I go out because when I arrive in Canada I have to go to college.

✓ Yes, I always check the weather before I go out because when I arrived in Canada I had to go to college.

Use 'check the weather' (not 'my weather'). Maintain consistent tense: if describing a past situation 'arrived' and 'had to' are correct. If speaking about habitual action in present, use 'arrive' and 'have to'. Choose tense according to meaning; here past arrival is likely intended.

× But that was the vendors and I don't know how was the weather outside.

✓ But I couldn't tell the weather outside then.

Original has unclear 'that was the vendors' which doesn't make sense. Likely intended meaning: unable to know weather, so rephrase concisely. Use indirect question word order 'I didn't know how the weather was outside' if keeping original structure.

× It's pineapple or in a positive.

✓ It was sunny or pleasant.

'Pineapple' is incorrect; possibly mispronounced for 'pleasant' or 'sunny'. Replace with meaningful adjectives. Use 'was' to match past context.

× So to prevent myself from cold I always have to check weathers.

✓ So to prevent myself from getting cold I always have to check the weather.

Use 'get cold' or 'getting cold' and 'the weather' (uncountable), not 'weathers'. 'Prevent myself from cold' is ungrammatical.

× Yes, uh, it's, it has many effects on climate changes like, uh, last year, year I saw when I arrived, uh, the snow always started in near December and like in Christmas, but there was no snow during Christmas and people like feeling very sad children want to do snowmans, but it really affects.

✓ Yes, climate change has many effects. For example, last year when I arrived, the snow usually starts in December around Christmas, but there was no snow then. People, especially children who want to make snowmen, felt very sad; it really had an effect.

Use consistent tense and clearer sentence structure. 'It's, it has many effects on climate changes' is awkward; say 'climate change has many effects'. Use 'usually starts in December' and 'around Christmas'. 'Snowmen' is plural; 'felt' matches past context. Break run-on sentence into clearer sentences.

× Yes, I really want to go to other cities and like I really like to wear many cities.

✓ Yes, I really want to visit other cities and I like to see many cities.

'Wear many cities' is nonsensical; likely meant 'visit' or 'see'. Use 'visit other cities' to express travel intent. Remove duplicate 'really like' for conciseness.

× I want to chainsaw What is different from my country? Why is it different? What? Why it looks so good and if I won I can move it to here or why is it?

✓ I want to know what is different from my country, why it is different, why it looks so good, and if I won I could move it here.

Replace 'chainsaw' with 'know' (likely mispronunciation). Use proper question words and word order: 'what is different', 'why it is different'. 'If I won' needs conditional 'could move it here' for grammaticality. Remove repeated short fragments and restructure into coherent clauses.