Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words for coherence. For example, avoid repeating words like 'eating' and complete your thoughts fully.

例: I usually eat snacks in the evening after lunch. Because I prefer healthy options, I choose fruits or nuts instead of junk food to maintain good health.

提案: Your answer should be more direct and structured. Begin with a clear opinion, then support it with specific reasons or examples. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example' to connect ideas logically.

例: Yes, I believe eating healthy snacks is beneficial because supermarkets now offer many nutritious options. For example, I often buy yogurt and fresh fruits, which help me stay energized.

提案: Try to organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details. Avoid redundancy and incomplete sentences. Use linking words like 'and' or 'so' to make your answer coherent.

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young. We used to carry snacks in a box to school, and I always looked forward to eating them after classes because they gave me energy.

提案: Be more specific by naming the snacks you like and explain why you prefer them. Avoid repetition and use linking words to connect your ideas clearly.

例: I prefer healthy snacks like fruits, nuts, and yogurt because they provide essential nutrients. For instance, I often eat almonds as they are good for my energy and health.

× I think eating eating healthy snacks is more important than just eating junk food.

✓ I think eating healthy snacks is more important than just eating junk food.

The phrase 'eating eating' contains a repeated word, which is a typographical error. Removing the duplicate 'eating' corrects the sentence.

× So it's very important to choose the right.

✓ So it's very important to choose the right snacks.

The sentence ends abruptly without specifying what should be chosen. Adding 'snacks' completes the thought and improves sentence structure.

× I think eating healthy snacks is not wrong and today there are lots of healthy snacks available in supermarkets and businesses are creating awareness related to snacks which are made.

✓ I think eating healthy snacks is not wrong, and today there are lots of healthy snacks available in supermarkets. Businesses are also creating awareness related to the snacks that are made.

The original sentence is a run-on sentence lacking proper punctuation and conjunctions. Splitting into two sentences and adding commas improves clarity and readability.

× Yes, I've eaten a lot of snacks.

✓ Yes, I ate a lot of snacks.

The question asks about past habitual action ('Did you often eat snacks when you were young?'), so simple past tense 'ate' is more appropriate than present perfect 'have eaten'.

× When I was young we used to carry snacks in a box when we go to school and after coming back home, the first thing which comes in mind is eating snacks and we would be waiting to eat it after.

✓ When I was young, we used to carry snacks in a box when we went to school, and after coming back home, the first thing that came to mind was eating snacks, and we would wait to eat them afterwards.

The sentence mixes present tense ('go', 'comes') with past tense context. Changing 'go' to 'went', 'comes' to 'came', and adjusting other verbs to past tense maintains tense consistency. Also, 'wait to eat it after' is corrected to 'wait to eat them afterwards' for clarity and agreement.

× I like to eat something very healthy and not just eating snacks which are not healthy to your body.

✓ I like to eat something very healthy and not just snacks that are unhealthy for your body.

The phrase 'not just eating snacks which are not healthy to your body' is awkward. Changing it to 'not just snacks that are unhealthy for your body' improves clarity and sentence flow.

× So I I do not have particular names or the snacks that I eat.

✓ So I do not have particular names for the snacks that I eat.

The sentence has a repeated word 'I' and awkward phrasing. Removing the duplicate and adding 'for' clarifies the meaning.

× I eat snacks which are very much healthy to your body.

✓ I eat snacks which are very healthy for your body.

Using 'your body' is inconsistent when the speaker is talking about their own habits. It should be 'my body' or generalized. Also, 'very much healthy to' is incorrect; 'very healthy for' is the correct phrase.