Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Câu trả lời của bạn hơi dài và có một số lỗi ngữ pháp cũng như cách diễn đạt chưa tự nhiên. Bạn nên chia câu thành các phần rõ ràng hơn, tránh lặp từ và sử dụng cấu trúc câu đơn giản, mạch lạc hơn để câu trả lời tự nhiên và hiệu quả hơn.

例: I usually eat snacks in the afternoon while watching TV. It helps me relax and enjoy my favorite shows. This has become a daily routine for me.

提案: Bạn cần chú ý ngữ pháp và từ vựng chính xác hơn, ví dụ như 'snack' nên dùng số nhiều 'snacks', và tránh dùng từ sai nghĩa như 'violent diet'. Hãy sử dụng các từ vựng phù hợp và câu rõ ràng hơn để truyền đạt ý hiệu quả.

例: I don't think snacks are very healthy because they often contain a lot of sugar and fat. For example, many snacks are like fast food, which can cause weight gain if eaten too often. So, I try to limit how often I eat them to stay healthy.

提案: Câu trả lời có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp và từ vựng không chính xác, ví dụ 'Dad' không phù hợp, 'love' nên chia thì quá khứ 'loved', và câu cuối chưa hoàn chỉnh. Bạn nên luyện tập cách sử dụng thì quá khứ và cấu trúc câu hoàn chỉnh để câu trả lời rõ ràng hơn.

例: Yes, I definitely ate snacks often when I was young. I loved eating them every day because they made me happy and gave me energy. For example, I used to enjoy candies and baked treats at school.

提案: Bạn cần chú ý ngữ pháp và cách dùng từ, ví dụ 'snack' nên dùng số nhiều 'snacks', và câu cuối chưa rõ nghĩa. Hãy sử dụng câu đơn giản, rõ ràng và đúng ngữ pháp để truyền đạt ý tốt hơn.

例: I really enjoy sweet snacks like candy, cookies, and chocolate because they make me happy. However, I know they are not good for my health, so I try to eat them only occasionally.

× I usually eat snacks in the afternoon while watching TV because it helps me relax and focus on my favorite shows as I become a daily routine for me and I enjoy having something to match on during that time.

✓ I usually eat snacks in the afternoon while watching TV because it helps me relax and focus on my favorite shows as it has become a daily routine for me and I enjoy having something to munch on during that time.

The phrase 'I become a daily routine' is incorrect because 'I' cannot become a routine; the correct subject is 'it' referring to the activity. Also, 'having something to match on' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'having something to munch on' meaning to eat something small. The verb 'become' should be in present perfect 'has become' to indicate the routine started in the past and continues now.

× I don't think it's snack is very healthy because most like a high in sugar and fat.

✓ I don't think snacks are very healthy because most are high in sugar and fat.

The phrase 'it's snack is' is incorrect; 'snack' is plural here, so 'snacks are' is correct. Also, 'most like a high in sugar and fat' is incorrect; it should be 'most are high in sugar and fat' to correctly describe the snacks.

× Therefore, I try to avoid eating snacks too frequently to maintain a violent diet.

✓ Therefore, I try to avoid eating snacks too frequently to maintain a healthy diet.

The word 'violent' is incorrect in this context; the correct adjective is 'healthy' to describe a good diet.

× When I was a child, I love eating snacks every day because they make me feel happy and energetic.

✓ When I was a child, I loved eating snacks every day because they made me feel happy and energetic.

The sentence refers to a past time ('when I was a child'), so the verbs should be in the past tense: 'love' to 'loved' and 'make' to 'made'.

× It's become a part of my daily routine and if I didn't have any snacks I would often feel quite obsessed.

✓ It became a part of my daily routine and if I didn't have any snacks I would often feel quite upset.

'It's become' should be past tense 'It became' to match the past context. Also, 'feel quite obsessed' is incorrect; 'obsessed' is not used to describe feelings of discomfort. The correct word is 'upset' or 'uncomfortable'.

× For example, I used to enjoy school treats like candies and bakers after.

✓ For example, I used to enjoy school treats like candies and baked goods afterwards.

The phrase 'bakers after' is incorrect and unclear. It should be 'baked goods afterwards' to correctly refer to snacks eaten after school.

× I really enjoy snack, a sweet snack such as candy, cookies and chocolate because it makes me feel happy when I eat them.

✓ I really enjoy snacks, sweet snacks such as candy, cookies, and chocolate because they make me feel happy when I eat them.

The word 'snack' should be plural 'snacks' to match the list of items. Also, 'it makes me feel' should be 'they make me feel' to agree with the plural subject.

× However, I know that it's very not good for my health so I try to eat them in more.

✓ However, I know that it's not very good for my health so I try to eat them less.

The phrase 'very not good' is incorrect; the correct order is 'not very good'. Also, 'eat them in more' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'eat them less' to indicate reducing consumption.