Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and grammatically correct by using consistent verb forms and avoiding redundancy. For example, say "before I study and play games" instead of "before I do my activities such as study and playing some games." Also, keep your answer concise and clear.

例: I usually eat snacks in the morning before I study or play games.

提案: Improve grammar by using correct verb forms and articles, and avoid filler words like "uh." Also, use linking words to make your answer more coherent. For example, say "If the snack has less sugar and more fiber, I think it is healthier than snacks with a lot of sugar."

例: It depends on the snack. If it has less sugar and more fiber, I think it's healthier than snacks that contain a lot of sugar.

提案: Work on grammar and sentence structure to make your answer clearer and more natural. Avoid repetition like "to make me to make me." Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: Yes, I did. I remember my mom used to give me snacks every three hours because I was often crying. She gave me snacks to help calm me down.

提案: Improve vocabulary and grammar by using correct expressions like "high in fiber" instead of "half much fiber." Also, clarify brand names and use linking words to add details.

例: I like to eat snacks that are low in sugar and high in fiber, such as Fitbur, which is a popular brand in my country. Sometimes, I also eat fruit as a healthy snack.

× I usually eat snacks in the morning before I do my activities such as study and playing some games.

✓ I usually eat snacks in the morning before I do my activities such as studying and playing some games.

After 'such as', gerunds (verb + -ing) should be used to list activities. 'Study' should be 'studying' to match the form of 'playing'.

× If that snack is less sugar and have much fiber, I think it will be help then the snack that have, uh, much sugar.

✓ If that snack has less sugar and has much fiber, I think it will be better than the snack that has, uh, much sugar.

The verb 'have' should be in third person singular form 'has' to agree with singular noun 'snack'. Also, 'help' is incorrect here; the correct comparative adjective is 'better'.

× If that snack is less sugar and have much fiber, I think it will be help then the snack that have, uh, much sugar.

✓ If that snack has less sugar and has much fiber, I think it will be better than the snack that has, uh, much sugar.

The verb 'have' must be 'has' to agree with the singular subject 'snack'.

× If that snack is less sugar and have much fiber, I think it will be help then the snack that have, uh, much sugar.

✓ If that snack has less sugar and has much fiber, I think it will be better than the snack that has, uh, much sugar.

'Help' is incorrect here; the correct comparative adjective is 'better' to compare two things.

× Yes I did. I remember the time my mom always gave me snacks like once in three hours because I always crying at the time.

✓ Yes I did. I remember the time my mom always gave me snacks like once every three hours because I was always crying at the time.

'Always crying' needs past continuous tense 'was always crying' to indicate repeated past action. Also, 'once in three hours' is better expressed as 'once every three hours'.

× That's why she always gave me snacks to make me to make me quite quiet.

✓ That's why she always gave me snacks to make me quite quiet.

The phrase 'to make me to make me' is redundant. The correct form is 'to make me quite quiet' without repeating 'to make me'.

× I like to eat snacks that have less sugar and half much fiber such as Fitbur.

✓ I like to eat snacks that have less sugar and much fiber such as Fitbur.

'Half much fiber' is incorrect; it should be 'much fiber' or specify the amount properly. 'Half much' is not a correct quantifier.

× Fitbir is one of the famous brand in my country but sometimes I eat fruit too.

✓ Fitbur is one of the famous brands in my country but sometimes I eat fruit too.

'Brand' should be plural 'brands' because 'one of the' refers to a member of a group. Also, the brand name was misspelled as 'Fitbir' instead of 'Fitbur' as mentioned earlier.