Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cavabınızda çoxlu "umm" və təkrarlamalar var, bu da təbii və axıcı danışığı azaldır. Daha qısa və dəqiq cümlələr qurmağa çalışın və mövzunu birbaşa cavablandırın. Məsələn, əlavə məlumat verərkən əlaqələndirici sözlərdən istifadə edin.

例: I usually eat snacks when I watch movies or do my homework because I enjoy having something to eat during these activities.

提案: Cümlələrinizdə çoxlu "umm" və "uh" ifadələri var, bu da cavabınızın təbii və axıcı olmasına mane olur. Daha spesifik və əlaqəli sözlər istifadə edin və fikirlərinizi daha aydın ifadə edin.

例: It depends on the snacks I choose. Usually, I eat fruits, which are healthy, but occasionally I enjoy crepes or chocolate, which I think should be eaten only once a month.

提案: Cavabınızda təkrarlamalar və qeyri-dəqiq ifadələr var. Daha aydın və qısa cümlələr qurun, fikirlərinizi dəstəkləyən əlavə məlumat verərkən əlaqələndirici sözlərdən istifadə edin.

例: Yes, as a child, I loved chocolate and unhealthy snacks. I preferred eating outside rather than homemade food because I enjoyed junk food more.

提案: Cümlələrinizdə qarışıqlıq və qeyri-dəqiq ifadələr var, məsələn, "chocolate 00 like positive almonds" ifadəsi aydın deyil. Daha sadə və aydın ifadələrdən istifadə edin və fikirlərinizi dəstəkləyən əlaqələndirici sözlər əlavə edin.

例: I have liked chocolate since I was a child because it contains almonds, which I enjoy. Eating chocolate makes me feel happy and optimistic, so I love sweet snacks.

× I usually eat snacks when I, uh, watch a movie or when I'm doing my homework because I love, umm, eating something while doing my homework homework or washing something, umm, that I, that I really like.

✓ I usually eat snacks when I watch a movie or when I'm doing my homework because I love eating something while doing my homework or washing something that I really like.

The sentence contained repeated words ('homework homework') and unnecessary fillers ('uh', 'umm') which should be removed for clarity. The use of 'doing my homework' and 'eating something' is correct as gerunds after verbs like 'love' and 'doing'. The sentence is corrected by removing repetition and fillers to improve fluency and clarity.

× It depends on what snacks I eat.

✓ It depends on which snacks I eat.

The phrase 'depends on what snacks I eat' is understandable but 'depends on which snacks I eat' is more precise when referring to specific snacks. 'Which' is used to specify from a known set, improving clarity.

× sometimes I really want to eat, umm, something like, uh, crepes or chocolate and European, uh, those are uh, definitely not healthy and uh, we should eat them once a month.

✓ Sometimes I really want to eat something like crepes or chocolate and European sweets; those are definitely not healthy, and we should eat them only once a month.

The original sentence had unclear reference with 'European' alone; adding 'sweets' clarifies the meaning. Also, the sentence was a run-on with many fillers and missing punctuation. Adding a semicolon and commas improves sentence structure and clarity.

× Yes, when I was a kid I was in love with chocolate and unhealthy food.

✓ Yes, when I was a kid, I loved chocolate and unhealthy food.

The phrase 'was in love with' is acceptable but 'loved' is more natural and concise in this context. Also, adding a comma after 'kid' improves readability.

× I always wanted to eat outside, not at home.

✓ I always wanted to eat out, not at home.

The phrase 'eat outside' is understandable but 'eat out' is the correct idiomatic expression meaning to eat at a restaurant or away from home.

× I can say that I didn't even eat umm, uh, homemade foods because I just wanted to eat unhealthy food.

✓ I can say that I didn't even eat homemade food because I just wanted to eat unhealthy food.

The word 'foods' is generally uncountable in this context; 'food' is preferred. Also, removing fillers improves clarity.

× I usually eat chocolate since my childhood because uh, chocolate 00 like positive almonds in it.

✓ I have usually eaten chocolate since my childhood because chocolate has positive almonds in it.

The phrase 'chocolate 00 like positive almonds in it' is unclear and likely a transcription error. Assuming the intended meaning is 'chocolate has positive almonds in it', the verb 'has' agrees with singular 'chocolate'. Also, 'have usually eaten' fits better to express an action continuing from childhood to present.

× That's why when I eat chocolate it makes me feel very optimistic and I feel better.

✓ That's why when I eat chocolate, it makes me feel very optimistic and better.

Adding a comma after 'chocolate' improves readability. The phrase 'feel better' is acceptable but can be shortened to 'feel better' without 'I feel' repeated. The sentence is otherwise correct.