Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear but could be more concise and natural. Avoid filler words like "Uh" and try to use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. Also, try to limit your answer to about 3-4 sentences to avoid redundancy.

例: I usually eat snacks during my free time, such as in the afternoon after lunch or sometimes after dinner. I used to snack late at night, which was unhealthy, but I have stopped doing that recently.

提案: Your answer addresses the question but contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Try to use clearer sentence structures and linking words like "however" or "for example" to improve coherence. Also, avoid repeating phrases unnecessarily.

例: Eating snacks can be healthy depending on the time and type of snack. For example, eating snacks late at night is unhealthy and bad for the body. However, having a snack in the afternoon or early evening is generally acceptable.

提案: Your answer is relevant and clear but could be improved by combining sentences to avoid repetition and by adding linking words for better flow. Also, try to provide a bit more specific detail or a brief example.

例: Yes, I was a big snack lover when I was young and used to eat chips, cookies, and chocolate bars every day. My mom often bought these snacks for me, which made me very happy.

提案: Your answer lists many snacks but lacks clear organization and some phrases are unclear (e.g., "twigs"). Try to group similar items and use linking words to make your answer more coherent. Also, clarify or avoid uncertain phrases.

例: I enjoy eating chips like Doritos and Cheetos, as well as chocolate bars, cookies, and cakes such as cheesecakes. I also like drinking fruit juices like apple, pineapple, and cherry juice because they taste sweet and refreshing.

× I usually try to eat snacks on my free times or break times like afternoon after lunch or after dinner sometimes.

✓ I usually try to eat snacks in my free time or during breaks like in the afternoon after lunch or sometimes after dinner.

The phrase 'free times' is incorrect because 'time' in this context is an uncountable noun and should be singular. Also, 'break times' is better expressed as 'breaks' or 'during breaks'. Using 'in my free time' and 'during breaks' is the correct usage.

× I used to eat a lot of snacks at late nights which was pretty unhealthy but gladly I gave up on that.

✓ I used to eat a lot of snacks late at night, which was pretty unhealthy, but thankfully I gave up on that.

The phrase 'at late nights' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'late at night'. Also, adding commas improves sentence clarity. 'Thankfully' is a better adverb here than 'gladly' to express relief.

× It's healthy for everyone to eat snice, but it depends on which time you will eat the snack and which kind of snack you will eat.

✓ It's healthy for everyone to eat snacks, but it depends on what time you eat the snack and what kind of snack you eat.

The word 'snice' is a typo and should be 'snacks'. Also, 'which time' is better expressed as 'what time' when referring to time. Similarly, 'which kind' is better as 'what kind' in this context. The modal verb 'will' is unnecessary here and should be omitted for present general statements.

× Because for example, let's say you cannot eat snacks at late nights.

✓ For example, let's say you cannot eat snacks late at night.

The phrase 'at late nights' is incorrect; the correct prepositional phrase is 'late at night'. Also, 'Because for example' is redundant; 'For example' alone suffices.

× It's pretty unhealthy and it's pretty bad for our body.

✓ It's pretty unhealthy and it's pretty bad for the body.

Using 'our body' is less appropriate in this general statement. 'The body' is the correct general reference when talking about health effects applicable to everyone.

× But if you just try to eat some snack out in the afternoon or in the evening, it'll be pretty normal for everyone.

✓ But if you just try to eat some snacks in the afternoon or in the evening, it'll be pretty normal for everyone.

The phrase 'eat some snack out' is awkward. 'Eat some snacks' is better, and 'in the afternoon' or 'in the evening' are correct prepositional phrases. The word 'out' is unnecessary here.

× Yes, I was such a snack lover and I used to eat a lot of snacks daily like chips and cookies and chocolate bars.

✓ Yes, I was such a snack lover and I used to eat a lot of snacks daily, like chips, cookies, and chocolate bars.

The sentence is mostly correct, but adding commas improves clarity. No major tense errors here.

× My mom used to buy me a lot of snacks daily.

✓ My mom used to buy me a lot of snacks daily.

This sentence is correct in past tense and usage.

× I'd love some chips like Doritos or Cheetos and I love some chocolate bars or twigs or even cookies and some cakes like cheesecakes and even some apple juice.

✓ I'd love some chips like Doritos or Cheetos, and I love chocolate bars, twigs, cookies, and cakes like cheesecakes, and even some apple juice.

The word 'some' is overused and unnecessary before countable plural nouns like 'chocolate bars', 'twigs', 'cookies', and 'cakes'. Also, commas improve readability.

× I don't even think if it'll count as a snack, but I love apple juice and some pineapple juice and even cherry juice.

✓ I don't even think it counts as a snack, but I love apple juice, pineapple juice, and even cherry juice.

The phrase 'I don't even think if it'll count' is incorrect; it should be 'I don't even think it counts'. Also, 'some' is unnecessary before uncountable nouns like 'pineapple juice' and 'cherry juice'. Commas improve clarity.