Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is a bit unclear and contains some grammatical errors. Try to answer directly and clearly when you eat snacks, and avoid redundancy. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

例: I usually eat snacks when I feel tired or bored. For example, I like to have ice cream or chocolates during weekends to relax.

提案: Your answer is confusing and has grammatical mistakes. Please express your opinion clearly and support it with reasons using linking words. Avoid contradictory statements.

例: I think eating snacks regularly is not healthy because it can harm the heart. However, I sometimes eat snacks on weekends as a treat.

提案: Your answer has some repetition and grammatical errors. Try to use past tense correctly and provide clear reasons with linking words to support your opinion.

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young. I did not pay attention to my health then, but now I know that eating too many snacks can cause problems like diabetes or heart disease.

提案: Your answer is unclear and has grammatical mistakes. Please separate your ideas clearly and use correct sentence structure. Use linking words to connect your preferences and reasons.

例: I like to eat burgers and ice cream. Burgers are my favourite food because they taste delicious. Also, my father often brings me vanilla and mango ice cream at night, so I enjoy eating them regularly.

× I usually consume snacks when I am not in fresh mood as well as snacks are not healthy even though I consume snacks even at weekends like ice cream, chocolates etcetera.

✓ I usually consume snacks when I am not in a fresh mood, although snacks are not healthy. I even consume snacks on weekends like ice cream, chocolates, etc.

The sentence has issues with article usage ('a fresh mood'), sentence structure, and clarity. 'Not in fresh mood' should be 'not in a fresh mood' to be grammatically correct. Also, the sentence is long and confusing; breaking it into two improves clarity. 'Even though' is better replaced with 'although' here for smoother flow.

× According to my perspective, snacks are not healthy. However, I eat snacks in my weekends or even 2 to three months.

✓ From my perspective, snacks are not healthy. However, I eat snacks on weekends or even once every 2 to 3 months.

The phrase 'According to my perspective' is incorrect; 'From my perspective' is the correct prepositional phrase. Also, 'in my weekends' should be 'on weekends' because we use 'on' with days and weekends. The phrase 'even 2 to three months' is unclear and corrected to 'once every 2 to 3 months' for clarity.

× As eating snacks for a long time is healthy but not eating on regular basis, it can harms cardiovascular system as well as.

✓ Eating snacks for a long time is unhealthy, and not eating them regularly can harm the cardiovascular system as well.

The sentence has tense and subject-verb agreement issues. 'It can harms' should be 'it can harm' because modal verbs like 'can' are followed by the base form of the verb. Also, the sentence structure is confusing; rephrasing improves clarity and correctness.

× Yes, I often eat snacks when I was young.

✓ Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young.

The sentence mixes present tense 'eat' with past time 'when I was young'. The verb should be in past tense 'ate' to match the past time reference.

× I usually eat snacks every day without any without doing any care of my body.

✓ I usually ate snacks every day without taking any care of my body.

The sentence refers to past habits, so 'eat' should be 'ate'. Also, 'without doing any care' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'without taking any care'. The repetition 'without any without' is a mistake and removed.

× I think snacks are very unhealthy for our body and can lead to various serious problems like heart attack or diabetes eating.

✓ I think snacks are very unhealthy for our body and can lead to various serious problems like heart attacks or diabetes.

The phrase 'diabetes eating' is incorrect and unclear. It should be just 'diabetes'. Also, 'heart attack' should be plural 'heart attacks' to match 'various serious problems'. The sentence is corrected for clarity and proper noun usage.

× I love to eat burger ice creams because burgers are my favorite and most delicious cuisine.

✓ I love to eat burgers and ice creams because burgers are my favorite and most delicious food.

The phrase 'burger ice creams' is confusing; it likely means 'burgers and ice creams'. Also, 'cuisine' refers to a style of cooking, not individual dishes; 'food' is more appropriate here.

× I I have had an ice creams like vanilla mango are my favorite as my father bring bring ice cream daily at night and I eat regularly.

✓ I have had ice creams like vanilla and mango, which are my favorites, as my father brings ice cream daily at night and I eat it regularly.

The sentence has multiple issues: 'I I' is a repetition error; 'have had an ice creams' is incorrect because 'an' is singular and 'ice creams' is plural; 'bring bring' is repeated; 'bring' should be 'brings' for third person singular; 'eat regularly' needs an object 'it'. The sentence is corrected for grammar, agreement, and clarity.