Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more concise and clear by avoiding filler words like 'uh' and redundant phrases. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and keep the answer within 5 sentences.

例: I usually eat snacks after work because I feel exhausted and need to recharge. For example, a quick snack helps me regain energy so I can continue with my plans for the evening.

提案: Avoid filler words like 'umm' and use more precise vocabulary. Provide a clear opinion and support it with specific examples using linking words to improve coherence.

例: I think eating snacks can be healthy if we choose the right ingredients. For instance, eating vegetables or apples as snacks provides nutrients and keeps me full between meals.

提案: Try to combine your sentences for better flow and avoid short, fragmented sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas and provide more specific details about the snacks or experiences.

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young. During kindergarten, my mom prepared many interesting snacks, and I enjoyed sharing them with my friends, which made snack time fun and memorable.

提案: Avoid informal phrases like 'you know' and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to contrast ideas clearly and provide specific examples of snacks you like.

例: I usually prefer healthy snacks, such as fruits or nuts. However, sometimes I like to break the rules and enjoy a bag of chips because it quickly boosts my energy.

× I usually eat snacks after work because I feel exhausted and I just need to feed myself and make myself more energetic to just continue uh, the way and uh, work on the other plans.

✓ I usually eat snacks after work because I feel exhausted and I just need to feed myself and make myself more energetic to just continue, uh, the way and, uh, work on the other plans.

The sentence contains filler words 'uh' which interrupt the flow but are acceptable in spoken language. No verb + -ing form error detected here. However, the sentence is a bit awkward and could be clearer, but no specific grammar problem from the list applies here.

× It depends on the ingredients that we use and our snacks. We can use healthy stuffs like vegetables, apples and keep it in our umm plan.

✓ It depends on the ingredients that we use in our snacks. We can use healthy stuff like vegetables and apples and keep it in our, umm, plan.

The word 'stuffs' is incorrect as 'stuff' is an uncountable noun and does not have a plural form. Using 'stuff' instead of 'stuffs' is correct. Also, 'and' should be placed before the last item in a list. The phrase 'keep it in our plan' is a bit unclear but grammatically acceptable.

× Sure, I remember about my childhood that I had a nonchalant childhood and I used to eat so many snacks.

✓ Sure, I remember my childhood; I had a carefree childhood and I used to eat so many snacks.

The phrase 'remember about my childhood' is incorrect; 'remember' does not require 'about'. Also, 'nonchalant' is not appropriate to describe childhood; 'carefree' is better. The past tense 'used to eat' is correct here.

× In the kindergarten. My mom prepared a lot of interesting snacks for me and I ate them with my friends.

✓ In kindergarten, my mom prepared a lot of interesting snacks for me, and I ate them with my friends.

The first sentence is a fragment ('In the kindergarten.'). It should be combined with the next sentence for correct sentence structure. Also, 'kindergarten' does not need 'the' before it.

× I prefer healthy snacks, but you know, sometimes we need to just break the rules and it's something that just boosts our energy but and I think a bag of chips and can really hit the spot.

✓ I prefer healthy snacks, but you know, sometimes we need to just break the rules, and it's something that just boosts our energy. I think a bag of chips can really hit the spot.

The sentence is run-on and contains unnecessary conjunctions like 'but and'. Also, 'a bag of chips and can really hit the spot' is incorrect; 'and' should be removed. Breaking the sentence into two improves clarity and grammar.