Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but it is a bit long and slightly repetitive. Try to keep your response concise and avoid redundancy. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

例: I usually avoid snacks because I'm dieting to maintain my figure. However, when I feel stressed, I sometimes eat snacks to help me relax and feel better.

提案: Your answer addresses both physical and mental health, which is good. However, avoid filler phrases like 'you know' and improve coherence by using linking words. Also, clarify your points more precisely.

例: Although eating snacks can cause stomach aches and is unhealthy physically, I believe they benefit mental health because they make me feel happy and relaxed.

提案: Your answer is relevant but could be more structured. Avoid filler words and use linking words to connect ideas. Also, try to use past tense consistently and provide more specific details.

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young because I had a sweet tooth. Whenever I had money, I would treat myself to delicious junk food.

提案: Your answer is natural but could be more concise and structured. Avoid filler phrases and use linking words to organise your ideas clearly.

例: I enjoy many kinds of snacks, but if I had to choose, I would say sweet cakes and biscuits are my favourites.

× Every time I eat junk food I will have stomach ache.

✓ Every time I eat junk food I have stomach ache.

The use of 'will' here is incorrect because the sentence describes a habitual action or a general truth, which should be expressed using the present simple tense without 'will'. 'Will' is used for future intentions or predictions, not habitual facts.

× Every time I eat it I will feel quite happy, you know, So I don't have any Oreos at that time.

✓ Every time I eat it I feel quite happy, you know, so I don't have any Oreos at that time.

Similar to the previous sentence, 'will' is incorrectly used to describe a habitual feeling. The present simple tense is appropriate here to express repeated or habitual actions or feelings. Also, 'So' should not be capitalised after a comma.

× the snacks and junk food are so delicious and I definitely had a sweet tooth at that time every time I had money.

✓ snacks and junk food are so delicious and I definitely had a sweet tooth at that time every time I had money.

The definite article 'the' before 'snacks' is unnecessary here because the speaker is talking about snacks in general, not specific snacks. Removing 'the' makes the sentence grammatically correct and natural.

× If you want to say something I really love best, it might be sweet cakes and biscuits.

✓ If you want to say something I really love best, it might be sweet cake and biscuits.

'Sweet cakes' is not a common collocation; 'sweet cake' (singular) or 'sweet cakes' (plural) can be used depending on context, but here 'sweet cake' as a general category is more appropriate. Alternatively, 'cakes' alone would be fine. The correction assumes 'sweet cake' as a general type of snack.