Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: 回答中有较多的语气词“uh”，影响流畅性。句子结构较为简单且有些重复，缺少连贯的连接词。建议减少语气词，使用连接词如“when”、“while”使表达更自然流畅，并且注意句子简洁。

例: I usually eat snacks during my leisure time, especially when I go to shopping malls with my friends or family. Additionally, I like to have snacks before going to bed while watching my favorite movies, as it helps me relax and feel happy.

提案: 回答表达不够清晰，语法错误较多，且逻辑连接不够紧密。建议使用更准确的句子结构，明确区分健康和不健康的零食，并用连接词如“however”或“but”来表达对比。

例: It depends on the type of snacks. For example, protein bars are healthy and give me more energy. However, I avoid eating sugary candies because they make me feel stressed and are unhealthy.

提案: 回答中有语法错误和表达不清的问题，句子不连贯。建议简化句子，明确表达过去的习惯，并用连接词如“although”来表达对比。

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young. Although colorful candies and juices were not very healthy, they gave me a lot of pleasure. I used to save my points to get more snacks.

提案: 回答内容混乱，表达不清，存在语法和词汇错误。建议明确描述喜欢的零食种类和口味，避免重复和矛盾的表达，使用连贯的句子。

例: I really enjoy eating seaweed snacks because they come in various flavors such as barbecue, tomato, and potato. Additionally, I like mocha-flavored treats, which often have different shapes and a unique taste.

× I always eat snacks, uh, in my leisure time, uh, when I go shopping malls, my friends, my parents, uh, I will enter to the snack shop to choose my favorite snacks.

✓ I always eat snacks, uh, in my leisure time, uh, when I go to shopping malls with my friends and my parents, uh, I will enter the snack shop to choose my favorite snacks.

shopping malls 是复数，前面缺少介词 to，且 friends 和 parents 之间缺少连词 and，shopping malls 前应加介词 to，friends 和 parents 之间应使用连词连接。

× I will enter to the snack shop to choose my favorite snacks.

✓ I will enter the snack shop to choose my favorite snacks.

动词 enter 后不需要介词 to，直接加宾语。

× I eat snacks uh, before my sleep.

✓ I eat snacks uh, before I sleep.

sleep 是不可数名词，前面加 my 不合适，应该用动词不定式或从句表达时间。

× I watch my favorite movies, uh, while eating snacks.

✓ I watch my favorite movies while eating snacks.

句中逗号多余，影响句子流畅。

× It depends on the situation, for some healthy snacks like the protein bars which can makes me feel more energy energetic but the some Christy stuff or some colorful candies I will not eat.

✓ It depends on the situation. For some healthy snacks like protein bars, which can make me feel more energetic, but some Christy stuff or some colorful candies I will not eat.

makes 应改为 make，因为主语是复数 protein bars；energy 应改为形容词 energetic；句子结构不清晰，需分句。

× the some Christy stuff or some colorful candies I will not eat.

✓ some Christy stuff or some colorful candies I will not eat.

the 和 some 不应同时使用，the some 是错误搭配。

× It makes me feel very stress and not and also it's not very healthy.

✓ It makes me feel very stressed and also it's not very healthy.

stress 是名词，形容词应为 stressed，用来描述感受。

× Did you often eat snacks when you were young?

✓ Did you often eat snacks when you were young?

该句无语法错误，符合过去时态。

× I really loved it a snacks like colorful candies were crazy stuffs or some beautiful juice.

✓ I really loved snacks like colorful candies, crazy stuff, or some beautiful juice.

a snacks 是错误搭配，snacks 是复数名词，不用加 a；stuffs 是不可数名词，复数形式错误。

× I think it is not. It's not very healthy but it can give me lots of pleasure.

✓ I think it is not very healthy, but it can give me lots of pleasure.

句子断裂，it is not 后应接形容词或补语，保持句子完整。

× When I was a kid, I always save my point to win the snacks.

✓ When I was a kid, I always saved my points to win snacks.

save 应用过去式 saved；point 应用复数 points；win 后不加定冠词 the。

× I really love to eat seaweed, uh, snacks.

✓ I really love to eat seaweed snacks.

seaweed snacks 是固定搭配，不用逗号分开。

× It has lots of different flavors like potatoes, barbecues, tomatoes, uh, it's really uh, delicious and uh, uh, have a bad, have a good taste.

✓ It has lots of different flavors like potato, barbecue, tomato. It's really delicious and has a good taste.

potatoes, barbecues, tomatoes 应用单数形式表示口味；have a bad, have a good taste 语法错误，应改为 has a good taste。

× Uh, in addition, I love to eat mocha flavored. It has lots of different shapes of matcha.

✓ In addition, I love mocha-flavored snacks. They have lots of different shapes of matcha.

mocha flavored 应为形容词短语修饰名词；句子缺少名词；matcha 与形状搭配不当，需调整句子结构。