Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Try to make your answer more natural and clear by correcting grammar and sentence structure. Avoid redundancy and keep your answer concise within 5 sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas logically. For example, explain why you eat snacks after work and what kind of snacks you prefer.

例: I usually eat snacks after work because my job is tiring and requires a lot of mental effort. After a long day, I like to relax by going to Tim Hortons and ordering my favourite coffee, a cappuccino. Sometimes, I also have a light snack to recharge my energy before heading home.

提案: Improve your answer by using clearer sentence structures and more precise vocabulary. Use linking words like 'because' or 'therefore' to explain your ideas logically. Also, avoid vague phrases and provide specific reasons why certain snacks are healthy.

例: Yes, I think eating snacks can be healthy if they are vegetables or fruits. This is because our bodies need nutrients from these foods to maintain energy levels. Therefore, eating healthy snacks helps prevent sickness and nutrient deficiencies.

提案: Focus on using past tense consistently and improve sentence clarity. Avoid repetition and provide more specific details about the snacks you ate. Use linking words like 'for example' or 'also' to connect ideas.

例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young. For example, my mother usually gave me bread and energy drinks before I went to school. She also gave me Provera drinks along with some candy as treats.

提案: Make your answer more natural by avoiding repetition and using appropriate vocabulary. Connect your ideas with linking words like 'also' or 'sometimes'. Clarify your points and keep the answer concise and relevant to the question.

例: I like to eat chips and burgers when I have cravings because they satisfy me. Also, sometimes I cook at home to save money and be productive. This way, I enjoy my snacks while being mindful of my budget.

× You have these are brain all the time and speak to customer patiently and professionally.

✓ You have to use your brain all the time and speak to customers patiently and professionally.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'these are brain' which is grammatically incorrect. The correct phrase is 'use your brain' to indicate mental effort. Also, 'customer' should be plural 'customers' to match the context. The verb phrase 'have to use' correctly expresses necessity.

× After a long tiring day, I would usually go to Tim horton's and then order my go to coffee which is I ask cappuccino.

✓ After a long tiring day, I usually go to Tim Hortons and then order my go-to coffee, which is a cappuccino.

The phrase 'my go to coffee which is I ask cappuccino' is incorrect. It should be 'my go-to coffee, which is a cappuccino.' Also, 'Tim horton's' should be 'Tim Hortons' without the apostrophe as it is a proper noun. The article 'a' is needed before 'cappuccino' as it is a singular countable noun.

× Yes it's very healthy to eat snacks but should be vegetable or fruits.

✓ Yes, it's very healthy to eat snacks, but they should be vegetables or fruits.

The original sentence lacks the subject 'they' before 'should be.' Also, 'vegetable' should be plural 'vegetables' to match 'fruits.' The sentence needs a comma before 'but' to separate the clauses properly.

× Sometimes our stomach needs nutrients from these kind of food and when we don't eat we don't have sorts of energy thus we can get a lot of sickness and mis nutrients.

✓ Sometimes our stomach needs nutrients from these kinds of food, and when we don't eat, we don't have much energy; thus, we can get a lot of sickness and malnutrition.

The phrase 'these kind of food' should be 'these kinds of food' because 'kinds' agrees with the plural 'these.' 'Sorts of energy' is incorrect; 'much energy' is appropriate for uncountable nouns. 'Mis nutrients' is a misspelling; the correct word is 'malnutrition.' Commas and semicolons are added for clarity.

× Yes, I often eat snacks.

✓ Yes, I often ate snacks.

The question is about past habits ('Did you often eat snacks when you were young?'), so the verb should be in the past tense 'ate' instead of the present tense 'eat.'

× When I was young, I remember my mother would give me lots of breads and energy drink every time I go to school.

✓ When I was young, I remember my mother would give me lots of bread and energy drinks every time I went to school.

'Breads' is generally uncountable and should be 'bread.' 'Energy drink' should be plural 'energy drinks' to match 'lots of.' The verb 'go' should be in past tense 'went' to match the past context.

× She also gave me a lot of Provera drinks and that comes with candy.

✓ She also gave me a lot of Provera drinks, and they came with candy.

The phrase 'that comes with candy' is incorrect because 'that' refers to singular, but 'Provera drinks' is plural. It should be 'they came with candy' to agree in number and tense.

× I like chips and burgers when I'm craving for the food.

✓ I like chips and burgers when I'm craving food.

The phrase 'craving for the food' is incorrect; 'craving food' is the correct expression. Also, 'chips and burgers' is correct plural usage.

× It gives me satisfaction and it makes my tummy and heart very very happy.

✓ They give me satisfaction and make my tummy and heart very, very happy.

'It' is singular, but 'chips and burgers' are plural, so the pronoun should be 'they.' Also, 'make' should be plural to agree with the plural subject.

× Sometimes I cook in our house to save more money and do some productive things.

✓ Sometimes I cook at home to save money and do some productive things.

The phrase 'cook in our house' is less natural than 'cook at home.' Also, 'save more money' is better as 'save money' unless comparing amounts. The sentence is improved for naturalness and clarity.