Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Your answer is somewhat unclear and contains grammatical errors. Try to make your sentences more natural and concise. For example, say "I usually eat chocolate or cookies after lunch to help me focus on studying." Also, avoid repeating the same information.

例: I usually eat chocolate or cookies after lunch because they help me concentrate while studying.

提案: Your answer is incomplete and unclear. Try to organize your ideas logically using linking words. For example, "I think eating healthy snacks like fruits or rice bars can help maintain a balanced diet. However, eating too many unhealthy snacks can be harmful."

例: I believe that eating healthy snacks such as fruits or rice bars can help keep a balanced diet. However, eating too many unhealthy snacks can negatively affect our health.

提案: Your answer is confusing and incomplete. Try to clearly state your main idea and support it with reasons. For example, "I didn't eat many snacks as a child because I didn't like them and my parents didn't allow us to eat unhealthy snacks."

例: When I was a child, I didn't eat many snacks because I didn't like them, and my parents didn't allow us to eat unhealthy snacks.

提案: Your answer is good but can be improved by making it more fluent and natural. Avoid filler words like "umm" and use linking words. For example, "If I had to choose one snack, it would be chocolate because its sweetness and creamy texture help me relax and give me energy to study."

例: If I had to choose one snack, it would be chocolate because its sweetness and creamy texture help me relax and give me energy to study.

× I wanted to snap, eat snacks to focus on the studying.

✓ I wanted to snack, eat snacks to focus on studying.

The word 'snap' is incorrect here; the correct verb is 'snack'. Also, 'the studying' should be 'studying' without 'the' because 'studying' is an uncountable noun here.

× I think to some extent if we eat snacks umm other uh, fruits such as fruits or rice bar, it keeps our healthy diet balanced.

✓ I think to some extent if we eat snacks like fruits or rice bars, it keeps our healthy diet balanced.

The phrase 'such as fruits or rice bar' is awkward; 'like fruits or rice bars' is more natural. Also, 'rice bar' should be plural 'rice bars' to match 'fruits'.

× if we too much snacks or.

✓ if we eat too many snacks.

The phrase is incomplete and incorrect. 'Too much snacks' is wrong because 'snacks' is countable, so 'too many snacks' is correct. Also, the verb 'eat' is missing.

× When I was a child I didn't so much sno I didn't eat so much snacks because I don't want to eat snacks and also my parents didn't allow us to eat 3 uh easy to eat snacks and they don't.

✓ When I was a child, I didn't eat many snacks because I didn't want to eat snacks, and also my parents didn't allow us to eat easy-to-eat snacks.

The sentence has multiple errors: 'didn't so much sno' is incorrect and should be 'didn't eat many snacks'. 'I don't want' should be past tense 'didn't want' to match the past context. '3 uh easy to eat snacks' is unclear and should be 'easy-to-eat snacks'. 'They don't' is incomplete and unnecessary here.

× If I choose one snack, I will say it is the chocolate.

✓ If I choose one snack, I will say it is chocolate.

The definite article 'the' before 'chocolate' is unnecessary when speaking generally about chocolate as a snack.

× I like the chocolate because it it's sweetness and the milk kind of melty taste makes me feel relaxed and sometimes gives me energy toward study.

✓ I like chocolate because its sweetness and the milky, melty taste make me feel relaxed and sometimes give me energy for studying.

'It it's sweetness' is incorrect; it should be 'its sweetness' (possessive pronoun). 'The milk kind of melty taste' is awkward; 'milky, melty taste' is better. Also, 'makes' and 'gives' should be plural 'make' and 'give' to agree with the compound subject. 'Energy toward study' should be 'energy for studying'.