Snacks— Part 1 採点レポート

提案: Cevabınız doğal ve anlamlı ancak cümle yapılarında bazı dilbilgisi hataları ve tekrarlar var. Daha akıcı ve doğru cümleler kurmaya çalışmalısınız. Ayrıca, bağlaç kullanarak cümlenizi daha tutarlı hale getirebilirsiniz.

例: I usually don't prefer eating snacks, but if I do, I prefer to eat them in the evening while watching Netflix. This helps me relax and forget about the stressful things I faced during the day.

提案: Cümlenizde dilbilgisi ve kelime kullanımı hataları mevcut. Ayrıca, cümleniz biraz karışık ve anlaşılması zor. Daha açık ve doğru ifadeler kullanarak düşüncelerinizi net bir şekilde ifade etmelisiniz.

例: I don't think eating snacks regularly is healthy because it can make people feel tired and reduce their energy during the day. This is especially true for people who exercise regularly and follow a strict routine.

提案: Cümlelerinizde zaman kullanımı ve kelime seçiminde hatalar var. Ayrıca, cümleleriniz biraz dağınık ve bağlaç eksikliği var. Daha düzgün zaman yapıları ve bağlaçlar kullanarak anlatımınızı geliştirebilirsiniz.

例: I didn't often eat snacks when I was young because I was a professional swimmer on a team in Istanbul. Therefore, I didn't develop this habit until I was about 18 years old, as I always had to follow a strict diet.

提案: Cümlenizde bazı tekrarlar ve dilbilgisi hataları var. Ayrıca, cümleleriniz daha akıcı ve doğal olabilir. Bağlaçlar kullanarak cümlelerinizi daha tutarlı hale getirebilirsiniz.

例: As I mentioned, I don't usually prefer eating snacks, but if I do, I like chocolates with different flavors. I also enjoy mixing chocolates with ingredients like nuts and milk, which are my favorites.

× To be honest, I don't prefer eating snacks but if I wanted to eat the snacks I would prefer eating at the evenings because I love Netflix and chill.

✓ To be honest, I don't prefer eating snacks but if I want to eat snacks, I would prefer eating in the evenings because I love Netflix and chill.

The sentence uses 'if I wanted' which is past tense modal form, but the context is about a habitual or present preference, so 'if I want' is correct. Also, 'at the evenings' is incorrect preposition usage; it should be 'in the evenings'.

× To be honest, I don't prefer eating snacks but if I wanted to eat the snacks I would prefer eating at the evenings because I love Netflix and chill.

✓ To be honest, I don't prefer eating snacks but if I wanted to eat snacks, I would prefer eating in the evenings because I love Netflix and chill.

The preposition 'at' is incorrectly used with 'evenings'. The correct preposition is 'in' for parts of the day like 'in the evening(s)'.

× Eating snacks regularly especially effects people health badly because it's causes to feel exhausted or spending your energy during the day.

✓ Eating snacks regularly especially affects people's health badly because it causes you to feel exhausted or to spend your energy during the day.

The pronoun 'it's' is incorrect here; it should be 'it' as the subject. Also, 'people health' should be possessive 'people's health'. The verb 'effects' should be 'affects'. The phrase 'causes to feel' needs a subject 'you' and the verb 'spending' should be 'to spend' to match the infinitive form after 'causes'.

× I hadn't eaten snacks because I was a professional swimmer at the team in Istanbul when I was young.

✓ I didn't eat snacks because I was a professional swimmer on the team in Istanbul when I was young.

The past perfect 'hadn't eaten' is unnecessary here; simple past 'didn't eat' is appropriate for past habitual action. Also, 'at the team' should be 'on the team'.

× I hadn't eaten snacks because I was a professional swimmer at the team in Istanbul when I was young.

✓ I didn't eat snacks because I was a professional swimmer on the team in Istanbul when I was young.

The preposition 'at' is incorrect with 'team'; the correct preposition is 'on' when referring to membership in a team.

× So I didn't develop this kind of hobbits when I was younger, like until the 18 years old.

✓ So I didn't develop this kind of habit when I was younger, like until I was 18 years old.

The word 'hobbits' is a misspelling of 'habits'. Also, 'until the 18 years old' is incorrect; it should be 'until I was 18 years old' to correctly express age.

× I had always a strict diet that I needed to follow.

✓ I always had a strict diet that I needed to follow.

The adverb 'always' should come before the main verb 'had' in this sentence for correct word order.

× As I mentioned to you, I don't usually prefer eating snacks but if I wanted to eat snacks, I would prefer eat the chocolates because I love eating chocolates with different kind of flavors.

✓ As I mentioned to you, I don't usually prefer eating snacks but if I want to eat snacks, I would prefer to eat chocolates because I love eating chocolates with different kinds of flavors.

The modal verb phrase 'if I wanted' should be 'if I want' to indicate present or habitual condition. Also, 'prefer eat' is incorrect; it should be 'prefer to eat'. 'Different kind of flavors' should be plural 'different kinds of flavors'.

× I love eating chocolates with different kind of flavors.

✓ I love eating chocolates with different kinds of flavors.

The quantifier 'kind' should be plural 'kinds' when referring to multiple types or varieties.

× I also love mixing with the different ingredients such as nuts and chocolates, milk and chocolates.

✓ I also love mixing different ingredients such as nuts and chocolates, milk and chocolates.

The preposition 'with' is unnecessary after 'mixing' here. Also, the phrase 'the different ingredients' is better as 'different ingredients' without 'the'.

× These these are my favorite one.

✓ These are my favorite ones.

The repetition 'These these' is an error. Also, 'favorite one' is singular but 'these' is plural; it should be 'favorite ones' to agree in number.